Yes I am tired today. I was reading the PCOS boards yesterday and they mentioned that cutting coffee (caffeine) from your diet is a good idea as it throws off insulin.
Get rid of coffee? Will I stay awake while I drive my one hour commute at 3:50am 5 days a week? Sounded upsurd, that is, until I brushed my hair this morning and SO much came out. Like I said, I am not bald, my hair is down to my waist and I expect to see a lot of hair on my brush because of that, but this morning there was more hair on my brush than usual.
The coffemaker had already brewed coffee and my hubby got up at 3:30 or so to sit with me a while and have a cup of coffee so I went ahead today and just had some. I am scared of the migraine headaches that I am gonna get after I stop takin in the caffeine though. I have been a migraine sufferer in the past and so I am not looking forward to gettin' one. Oh well.
I talked with my mom yesterday, and she so happens to have Metformin becuase she has diabetes and those were one of her meds (this medicine is used to treat PCOS) and so she is sending me some so I can get some relief from these symptons while I wait till the Dr. gives them to me on 2/9.
I was *this* close to weighing myself yesterday but I did not feel like being depressed. Mind you, I was very good all day (except that I did not work out like I planned). My husband got home late and I had to leave to church for the Ladies Missionary circle to make gift boxes for the visiting missionaries this week. Then after that meeting we had our Stampt It Up club meeting where we make cards for ourselves and donate some for the missionaries and the pastors. Anyway, these cards are beautiful and you can get quite creative. I will take a picture of my first card and post it here.
Alright well, gotta fill up my water jug and start working. I need a nap already and it's only 6:00AM.
I pretty much sucked at my eating this weekend. Well I can't really say that. I ate Pizza Friday night (when I said I was going to skip the weekend indulgence), Saturday I stuck to my eating plan, except for I had 2 or 3 corn tortillas too many. THEN on Sunday, that's when I really blew it. I ate Jack in the Box. It's been a while since I have eaten a burger. I WAS going to eat a salad but the salad dressing choices they had made me go for the less fattening burger. I feel like absolute crap this morning though. I feel like I have a hangover. Seriously, and I don't drink at all (of course!). I was sluggish getting out of bed, I was not in a very good mood AT ALL.
Last night I got my clothes ready for work. I put them on this morning and my blouse was HUGE. It was so loose that I had to change my outfit. I was happy about that but mad that I had to change. I wore an outfit that my fat usedd to to bust out of. Now I fit into it very comfortably. I used to have to wear an undershirt, leave the buttons open and wear it sorta like a cardigan because the buttons looked like they were going to BUST any second now.
Anyway, I didn't bother weighing myself this morning. I really thought about my weight this weekend (even before Jack in the Box) and I realized that I need to give more to God. I am going to continue eating right, I am going to begin working out with weights this week (i have a workout plan written down) and intensive cardio every other day. When I say MORE to God, I mean more time during my day to listen to sermons, more time reading the bible. Right now our Family is in dire need to hear from him on a few things when it comes to our spiritual life and I need to drench myself in His Word. My obsession with weight loss this week and maybe next stops for a while. I believe this will help make me stronger in my Faith in this weight loss mission as well.
My spirit is weak and I know who I need to seek. I will continue to take a few minutes each day to plan my meals on Fit Day so I stay on target. I am not weighing myself again until Saturday and I will post my results. God Bless:
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed" Proverbs 16:3
Ok so I think that me having PCOS is catching up to me. I have an appointment on 2/9 but now it seems that that's just not soon enough. This week has been particularly hard on me. My insulin resistance has really kicked up a notch. I was extremely good in eating and exercise but I managed to crawl my way up to 207.
This week I have been looking into the symptoms of PCOS on www.SoulCysters.com website because sometimes I am in denial about having PCOS. Unfortuantely my symptoms of more advanced PCOS = ME. I can't believe I have waited this long to address this problem. My hair is falling out a lot more, I am not close to being bald or anything but still. I have not had a period since November, I have been really tired lately, like TIRED TIRED. There are a handful of other symptoms that match to a T. So anyway, I can't wait to go on 2/9.
Today I feel ok, despite what the scale said. I know it's not my eating and I can't do anything about it but keep on eating right and working out. This weekened I am planning on planning my meals on FitDay as well - I usually don't do this but I need to break the habit I have of sorta making weekends more of an "extra eating" days. Sometimes you don't realize how much food you are taking in until you see it in writting.
Last night when I went to church I had a GREAT message that was just SO perfect for me right now. God bless and see below:
"That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments:"
Psalm 78:7
Today my goal is to get through the day. I am serioulsy really tired. I feel sorta weak. I have had anemia in the past and I feel the same way I did then. So today I might run out and get some iron pills and start to take them. I have a doctor's appt early next month so I am going to ask them to do the whole check up thing on me.
I started to ask myself...am I not eating enough? Am I working out too much? But I think I am ok. I am going to increase my protein intake just in case. It seems like I am ok during the day but by the time I get home and I am making dinner, I have dizzy spells and can't stand without slouching or leaning on something. It's just weird. Last night I didn't work out because of that. I should of gone to Curves during my lunch but I wanted to sit and have lunch yesterday. So today I will go. I made a yummy lunch last night. I went and bought some Tofu noodles (those shiraki ones) and made some chicken stir fry with it. It's HUGE and I know I probably won't even be able to finish it. I might eat half of it and eat the other half as my snack.
*Sigh* I feel a little down today to be honest. Not sure why either. I think I need like an extra day off from work. I need a break from waking up at 3am. I want to save my vacation time for the summer though. I can't wait for the summer! I miss the 8:30 sundown! I think I may have the "winter blues". It's just so cold and dark all the time! I feel like I should be in bed by 5pm cause it's so dark ya know? I have been falling asleep during our family bible reading at night. Not good. Me writting this out is actually a revelation that I need to take better care of myself. I need to go to bed early and get at least 7 hours of sleep per night. I will talk to my family tonight and make some changes to our weekly schedule. I think they will agree as I have been very BLAH lately....
So yesterday I meant to post I Peter 5:10. I will post it below and it talks about God's Grace.
But the God of all Grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
I look back at this blog and think ok so is this my weight loss blog or is it my spiritual walk with God blog? Well it's both. It's both because I CANNOT do this without His support. I have never been able to come as far as I have and I am still going strong. I know that I am going to get down to my goal of 175. I could not tell you that before and if I would of I knew I was not going to be able to do it. I do have my days where I feel down in the dumps, and feel discouraged because the weight is not coming off fast enough (for me anyway) but I am silly to believe that. I think that falls into my issue with the strength in my Faith. Since 11/2/05 I have lost almost 33 pounds and I have had plenty of free days in between that time. So being where I am right now is a miracle in it's own.
This morning I heard the perfect message. You need FAITH to be a FAITHFUL person and Faithfullness without good works is like a body with no life. I know my faith has grown over the past year but I still need a lot of work in this department. I am going to continue to work on that. People at work look at me and are surprised to see that I am actually a Christian woman. I am a young, silly, hispanic girl and they are surprised when I speak about God and mention that Christ Jesus is Lord Savior, some believe and some do not. I have brought a few people to the Lord working here at Realtor.com recently. I have worked here for almost 5 years and it's the best place to work. No bosses to bully me around. I come to work, do my work on my own and I get to leave at 1:30 in the afternoon. AND I get paid pretty well. My life is full of blessings that are not obvious to the general public, but God reminded me of how blessed I really am.
I am on another level today. I guess God is just working on the spiritual side of me. He sees how discontent I am on days. I need to get closer to Him so He can keep revealing things to me. I need Him to keep moving along and I need to learn to appreciate what has been given to me thus far.
"Love the LORD, all you faithful ones! For the LORD protects those who are loyal to him, but he harshly punishes all who are arrogant".
Psalm 31:23
In my morning drive to work I listen to either a sermon, a program on fundraising for a great cause or to some good christian music. Because I go to a Baptist church, they only listen to traditional old hyms. I love the music but I also love Christian Hip Hop. I guess I don't quite understand why it's "bad" but I do understand it when I hear bad Christian rap. Anyway, I was listening to The Ambassador this morning and could hear the love he has for Christ through his music which he passes on to the listeners.
I am still tired today. I have a little bit of a sore throat. I am going to have to nip that in the butt because I am not trying to get sick again. I feel so bad for Alani. She is so sick. She woke up at 3am this morning. I think my alarm woke her up. I brought her into our bed and hit snooze. She instantly started yelling "daddie, daddie" this X10...or maybe times X30. Then she started to smack him and he woke up and she smiled. She's so friggen cute! She is totally congested and had a fever so I am going to have to call and check on her later.
I got lots to do today, like always. Alexis has an Ortho appt. at 4pm, she has a rash on her hands from who knows what. So I have to try and get her an appt. as well. I think I might take Alani in today sometime too so she can get some antiboitics. She does not sound too good. I am going to go to Curves on my lunch cause this will be my only chance. We will have to wait and see. I will try and remember to take profile pics. I keep forgetting. No weight change this morning. That's always depressing especially after a protein day. We'll see tomorrow.
My eyes have this burning-stingy feeling. Could it be that it's because I didn't get any sleep last. Well that's just part of being a parent and having to take care of your fever plagued children. Alani had to sleep with us last night because she was screaming bloody murder from her room last night. We thought she would sleep a little better with us. That's a negative. So I came in to work late so I could catch some Z's before I drove into work. I'm only going to be here for like 4 hours. I was going to work my full 8 hours but...I only debated about that for like 30 seconds and said "NAH". I am just gonna use my sick time for the 4 hours I missed.
Anyway, today is protein day. Weekend eating was just "OK". I ate Doritos twice. I treated myself to my planned off "diet" dinner BUT then ate a hearty breakfast the following day. I tried to make it healthy, I asked for egg beaters but then my plate had these scrumptious country sliced potatos/hash browns...SO good I could resist. I worked out all weekend. I went to Bally's but I still managed to gain a bit. No sweat I am sure it will "fall off" today since it's the lovely protein day today. Oh joy.
I am almost out of Pria Bars so I am going to search on Ebay so I can buy some more. They are expensive at the store even if they are on sale for .77 each. Anyway...that's it I guess. I am in a tired blah mood but I am sure I will get motivated later when I leave work ;-)
I am finally down more weight as of this morning. I drank SO much water yesterday, I think I spent 3 of 8 work hours going to the bathroom. I feel good today though. Very thirsty, but good. The more water I drink the thirstier I am. Is that weird or what? Ok so I am down to...........205.6!!! I COULD NOT BELIEVE it. Ok sometimes though, like the next day I will go up a bit so I am gonna say 206 so I won't be dissapointed. My body is weird lately....I won't loose for 3-4 days at all, then all of the sudden on the 5th day I drop 3 to 4 pounds at once. I am less sore today.
For timesakes, I ended up going to Curves yesterday, I did not listen in too closely to all the yaking going on around me and I concentrated more on my workout. The result? SWEAT. So I feel I had a good workout, plus I ride my bike there and back so that's a plus when it comes to cardio.
I hope this weekend is nice. I want to go for a LOOOONG bike ride in the Long Beach bike trail (through the beaches). That bike trail goes on for at least 15 miles. I want to go with my family but Alexis is still not a full blown bike rider. I think I am gonna work on that with her today. She needs to learn ASAP. She's got the hang of it. She's just very....chicken....she doesn't EVER want to fall and I told her it's going to happen. She doesn't like getting hurt PERIOD. So it's gonna be a small challenge. Tonight I am going to go to Bally's again.
Oh there is this guy here at work, he's probably got like 2% body fat or something (I don't really know) but he is super fit (he's an older gentleman) and he is going to help me put together a workout plan to target each of my muscle groups. He stressed the importance of stretching after a workout (as did my curves instructor). So I am going to write down the workout I think I should be doing and he's going to help me choose the ones for my body AND we are going to plan out my week. FREE TRAINER! How cool is that? He is getting a kick out of this. I have been telling him for YEARS that I wanted to loose weight and now that he sees my healthy eating (since I eat at my desk cause I work out during my lunch hour) and he has noticed my weight loss, he is actually willing to lend me a helping hand. That is such a perk!
Ok well...I have to plan my food for the day and make my work outs fit in somehow today with all the other things I have to do today. I am going to be taking progress pics this weekend. I have to add the pictures link back on....I switched templates and it deleted all my custumizations. I am such a dork.
How is it that I am so up and down from one day to the next? In attitude that is. One day I am good and the next I am peeved. I shouldn't walk around with that sort of attitude, really. I have to make myself cheer up. I think I am just tired. I was in a bad mood after work yesterday. I gave three kids a ride home yesterday, actually I have been doing this all week, I gave them a ride once, and now they think I am gonna take them home ALL THE TIME. I had to set them straight yesterday. They take the bus home and they live about 1 1/2 miles from my house so I feel sorta mean not taking them home, but I have come to find that all those kids in my truck, after my one & a half hour commute, getting up at 3am, we just don't mix. So I broke the news and I feel liberated. Didn't feel as bad as I thought.
ANYWAY, I ate too much yesterday it looks like. I diverted from Fit Day planned meal and I ate about 400 too many calories. Not bad food, just too much of good food. I need to be set free from those South Beach bars. I have been eating one at every snack. One between meals. So that's 3 per day. So no weight loss again this morning. Sheesh. I am still sore from Tuesday's Bally. I rode my bike yesterday but for only 25 minutes cause it was starting to rain & it was freezing! I mean I was hot after my first mile but my arms were still frozen. Ok UM....today I am trying to figure out how I am gonna fit in my workouts.
I have an appointment at the DMV today at 8:25am to pay for my registration tags so I don't get a ticket for expired tags. I always wait too long. So I am thinking that should be fast, so I am gonna use that as my break, then go to Curves at lunch. I really want to go to Bally's tonight too, to do leg workouts, but we have Church service tonight and I still have to make dinner. Ok so I just thought of a solution since there is only ONE ME. I will throw some chicken breasts in the oven with some of those scalloped potatos and maybe some canned veggies while I am at Bally's and have my husband keep an eye on it. I am doing protein day today so I will only eat the chicken breast. I just talked to the hubby and he's game on my plan (which is always a good thing) so once again I need to jump start my body so that it drops weight since I have been stuck in the 209's since Saturday.
This is my brat in the bike thing. I don't know what they call these things, kid bike tow? LOL. All I know is that they cost anywhere from $150 to $400 (or more) but I bought it a garage sale for $30. It looks like it was just sitting in their garage for a while but it works like a charm and she loves it.
Ok so I went online, printed a 2 week pass to Bally's. I went there last night and I am even more sore today. I was a bit disappointed when I didn't see a loss on the scale this morning. That's ok though I ate probably more than I should of last night. Not badly, just more of my regular serving. I made healthy green chicken enchiladas with refried beans (except I didn't FRY them). My hubby actually mashed them and they tasted fine. I had my low carb tortillas but I think I added too much Motzerella cheese. They were delish though! So today I brought a chicken salad for lunch and a pear and 2 South Beach diet bars. One for my mid morning snack and one for after lunch/before dinner snack. Have you had them? Oh man they are SO good! Totally satisfies your sweet tooth. I bought the Cinnamon Raisin and the Peanut butter. They were on sale for 2 boxes (5 in each box)for $5.00 AND I had a $1.00 off coupon for each box, so I only paid $3.00 for 10 very yummy bars.
Today I loaded my bike onto my truck and I am planning on going on a 40 minunte up-hill bike ride for my lunch break. I feel like I am dedicated, but this morning I heard something on the radio that kinda got me thinking.
~They say that it's good to set goals but when you are fixated on those goals, when you get ATTACHED to those goals you become, sort of, closed in. I guess what they were trying to say was that you lock yourself into this bubble and you hang on to that goal for dear life and you don't allow anything else to penetrate through. Even if it's stuff like suggestions from people to do things more effectively (for a lack of a better word).
I know that I am "obsessed" right now with my weight loss, that's all I talk about, and I know that I need to stop. I realized that on my way home yesterday, BUT I NEED to obsses or I won't do this!! I won't loose this flippen weight! I am tired of being fat and I just want to get it over with already. I want to be in maintenance mode so so so bad. I need to pray...cause even though I feel like all is well, I think that I am afraid, afraid that I will fail AGAIN. Weight failure is not acceptable anymore in my life. I am not going to allow it, and I know THIS, but why am I so scared then?
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Have you ever tried to eat just one potato chip? How about just one fresh-baked cookie or just one warm, glazed doughnut? It's hard to stop. Almost impossible, in fact. That is how temptation to sin is. It just grabs us.
When we pray, "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil," we are saying, "Lord, I know my own sinful vulnerabilities, and I ask You to keep me from the power of sin. Help me to make the right choices and avoid anything that would pull me away from You."
The classic hymn, "Come Thou Fount," says it so accurately: "Prone to wander—Lord, I feel it—Prone to leave the God I love. . . ." It is our nature as sheep to wander, to go astray, and to do the wrong thing. It is not our nature to do the right thing. We must remember that about ourselves.
As one writer said, "When we pray. 'Lead us not into temptation,' it is an appeal to God to put a watch over our eyes, our ears, our mouths, and our feet and our hands, that in whatever we see, hear, or say, or any place we go, and in anything we do, He will protect us from sin."
We can lay claim to the great promise that God will not allow us to be tempted above that which we are able, but will make a way of escape so we can bear it.
Remember, flee from temptation—and don't leave a forwarding address.
But God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
— 1 Corinthians 10:13
So it looks like hitting Bally's last week did something! I woke up Saturday morning nice n'sore (especially in my inner thighs where I need some work) and I was hoping I would either still be 211 or 210 but I weighed in at 209.8! I was very surprised and excited. I was good all weekend but I did have some Pizza Hut on Saturday night. BUT I did not go overboard and I did have a salad so I would feel more satisfied. Today's weigh in is at 209.2! Almost 208.
My short term goal right now is being 199 by February 3rd and that's looking to be very do-able. I reported my weight loss to Paulene's 12 week challenge but on her site I started at 211. Anyway, my point is I lost 4 pounds (from 213 to 209) since last Monday. So that feels good. AND I ate pizza! I love fricken pizza. That's one food I get weak in the knees about.
Going to Bally's on Friday sorta proved to me that I am still a chicken when it comes to walking into an actual gym. You should of seen me. I rode my bike there and the whole time felt like I was going to walk in there and conquer it. The second I walked in on the work out floor I felt like a pup with it's tail between it's legs. I felt overwhelmed because there was just SO much equipment and it all looked the same. You are left to figure it all out yourself. The thing is, it's not like I have never seen a gym, I have been a member of 24 hour fitness for over 3 years. It's like it ALL came back to me when I walked in. That intimidated feeling. But I think that if I go enough times, I will get over it.
Plus I wore the dumbest most uncomfrotable workout pants ever. They are baby blue with a white stripe on the sides, but I just looked dumb and felt dumb. I was supposed to go with Leah again last night but she was going to meet with the trainer at 8pm. I usually hit the sack at 9pm so if I would've gone, I would've of been totally amped at 9am and would not of been able to wake up at 3am this morning. I already felt like throwing my alarm out the window this morning.
I don't know what to do right now. I rode my bike for almost an hour (with 1 year old 20+ pounds child in tow) then I went to Curves for 40 minutes but that still does not seem like enough. I am seriously contemplating quitting Curves...and re-starting my 24-hour fitness membership again. The thing with Curves is this. You are not supposed to work out for more than 30 minutes and when I do stay a little over, I can tell that they are like "she is still working out". Sometimes I barely break a sweat. The chitter chater is funny and all, but sometimes it distracts me..like it did yesterday. I didn't feel like I got a good workout. Plus even if I upgrade to the Sport 24-Hour Fitness (bigger and better) it will STILL be cheaper than Curves. The only thing is I have to pay $80 to upgrade to the Sport club and I will have to wait to do that till I have the cheddar (the money$$$). I don't think I will join Bally's. Although it was good, I dunno, I just like 24 Hour better I think.
This is a great scripture that really spoke to my heart this morning
"Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."
— Matthew 26:41
FINALLY Friday! I am excited about this weekend. As I might of mentioned before, I put my 24-Hour Fitness membership on hold for a few months while I tried out Curves, and so far I have been a regular at Curves BUT I think I need more of a challenge. I don't think that Curves will cut it for me in another month. That said, I am going to go with a friend, Leah, to her gym as a guest. Bally's gym in fact, it's only a mile away from my house and I can just ride my bike there as well (depending on the weather of course). Hopefully I can go with her tonight if not, for sure tomorrow (8am). I am going to check out their perks and if they are all good, I might just join. I am really starting to enjoy working out. It's like I can't wait to go!
I also think that going with Leah will help motivate me even more. Leah has lost tons of weight on just a low-carb diet and she looks great! (that's her in the pic, about a year ago so she's lost even more since then).
So I planned my meals for today click on the FITDAY link on the right). I got up at 3:15am today and prepared the following:
BREAKFAST:
2 Burritos made from Cheese & chive Egg Beaters & steamed some fresh spinach and made a scramble with those two. Wrapped this yummy stuff in 2 La Tortilla Factory tortillas (only 4 net carbs for TWO tortillas)
LUNCH:
4 oz of Grilled salmon, 2 cups of delish mixed salad greens with the ever greatest Paul Newman's Light Vinaigrette dressing (only 4g of fat per two tablespoons). One tablespoon is actually good enough so I typically only use one.
DINNER
Grilled Salmon seasoned with a zest of lemon, some steamed asparagus and a small salad on the side ;-)
I have weekend food too and I am POSTIVE that I will be back on Monday with a 2 pound loss to report. I am close to 210 so ya never know....
So as I have typed in my other posts I have stepped up my workouts this week and I am SORE! But it's good cause I know that I am doing something right.
So yesterday we had a work lunch at Claim Jumper and I had it all planned out in my head what I was going to eat and that I wasn't going to look at the menu. I didn't eat horribly, but I did order a salad that already had some sort of citrus type dressing on it. It was a weird salad all together. The waitress said "Oh that's my very favorite salad" so I said oh ok I will take that. It had cranberries, chicken, very crispy walnut bits, mandarin slices, blue cheese (I ordered on the side cause it just didn't sound right) and a bunch of other stuff that does not stand out at the moment...I fought it hard not to eat from the HUGE appetizer platter. I caved after 15 minutes, and had a motzerella stick. It was deep fried of course. I should of had a snack at 11am when I usually take my lunch. We didn't end up eating till almost 1 so I was hungry. Anyway, then I had a peice of garlic bread. But that was it.
When I got home I changed into my gym clothes and rode my bike to Curves and then as I was riding back home I decided to go up and down a few streets that had steep streets. I rode for about 35 minutes and covered about 4 miles, I would say, of pretty intense riding. I typed all my food intake on Fitday and I ended up eating about 2000 calories yesterday which is not my norm. I just can't eat that many calories or I won't loose.
So the good thing is I really did not gain...but I knew I had to workout hard to get rid of all those extra calories. I was really concerned about myself yesterday because I went blank when at the restaurant. Like I said above, I had it all planned out that I was going to not look at the menu, I was going to order a grilled chicken breast, 2 servings of steamed veggies and maybe a small salad. So I am going to try and work on that this weekend. Go out to eat and actually order what I planned to order!! I just don't understand why that's so hard for me! So that's got me a little frustrated but I will have to work on my will power when I am out and about!
Man I have been waking up feeling super tired this week. I went to bed early AGAIN last night and I still woke up feeling tired. My eyes feel heavy and everything.
So far it looks good on my workouts. This is what I did yesterday:
Curves X 2
Bike Ride: 15 minutes
Squats X 45 w/my workout ball
I went in to get measured at Curves last night in Long Beach (I worked out here too) and these are my old and new measurements:
on 11/14/05 they WERE:
Bust: 46.75
Waist: 41.00
Abdomen: 49.00
Hips: 46.25
Thighs: 25.50
Arms: 12.00
Body Fat: 37.80%
on 1/10/06 they ARE:
Bust: 44.50
Waist: 39.75
Abdomen: 46.50
Hips: 43.75
Thighs: 25.50
Arms: 12.00
Body Fat: 35.00%
Notice that I did not loose anything on my arms and thighs. I can see that they are thinner but maybe that's just me thinking that. They measure exactly the same. I know my fat thighs are NOT going to go away until I loose another 10 pounds, at the very least. They are the last fat to go unfortunately. That's when I can tell I am gettin' fat. My thighs start to talk. Anyway overall I lost -8.50 Total inches, -10.91 Body fat pounds. So that's good eh? Good news is that I am in the 211's now. Haven't been there in quite a while. I read the scripture below and had to remind myself of this because when the Curves trainer congratulated me, I was like "ahh, ya know, a little weight loss". What?!! I was mad at myself for saying that. She said "Well since you won't pat yourself on the back, I WILL!!" she is hilarious and is very motivating. I love it when she is there. SOOOO I am patting myself on the back and thanking GOD to the fullest!!
Remember to celebrate your accomplishments, but recognize that you are the instrument of a higher power and that your spiritual needs are continuous, even when you're well. Matthew tells us:
God blesses those who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them.–Matthew 5:3 NLT
Ok so it looks like me working out is actually working. Hmm who knew? So yesterday was Day 1 of 3 protein days. Just protein. This usually gets my body in fat burning mode, which is what I needed. This morning, I am at a new low 212.2. Almost 211. I was a bit shocked and this actually changed my morning completely. I was exausted yesterday though. I went to Curves on my lunch as planned but was not there my planned 45 minutes but 35 minutes because it was pretty full. I did not get to do my bike ride in the morning but I made it up later in the evening. My husband went to run an errand and I went for a 25 mile vigorous bike ride. I set it on the hardest setting (I don't know the bike terminology obviously) all I know is that my legs were burning going up the hilly streets of Long Beach. My husband does not really like me going alone but we live in a good area. Plus I always tell my worried husband "who wants to try and attack a 200+ pound, 5"10 woman. They would look at me and be like "Nah!". He just laughs, but I think he gets it. He knows I am right.
So I did my bike thing, did a few sit-ups (while I was still sweating) stretched, and took a shower. We read our bibles (we each take turns reading a chapter) and I went STRAIGHT to bed. I went to bed at 8:20 last night. For some reason, I was still tired at 3am this morning so I snoozed it for 30 minutes!! Then I got up and rushed. I still had time to sit and have my breakfast though. 2 eggs over easy, 1 peice of wheat toast (this is called cheating on protein days) and coffee. I had to have a peice of toast today though. I was starving. I will keep it a protein day for the rest of the day though.
Work is going to be weird this week. We have tons of training sessions and then tomorrow they are taking us to Claim Jumper for lunch....I already know that I am not going to order off the menu. There is going to be pressure from others to just stuff my face but I am going to be good. :-)
I have been praying hard for God to help me get outta this slump and yesterday He really spoke to me through the preaching I heard in church last night. It was on I Corinthians 9-24-26 and it just sorta spoke to me in all angles. I also first heard Falisa (my friend) talk to us about this in our Saturday study. Basically, when we make a commitment, KEEP IT. God is looking for you to keep that commitment, that promise. Being a Christian, when you speak and tell someone let's say "Ok I will see you tomorrow at 5pm" you should NOT have to end that statement with "I promise I WILL be there at 5". I feel like do that a lot. I make commitments, and I don't keep them. I find myself having to tell people "I promise"....I don't want to be that person. So I am changing my attitude starting today! You know what? I FEEL it! I feel God is going to help me. I feel like I did the day I started my weight loss and lost 25 pounds. I look forward to posting progress pics. This month's commitment is to be down to 199 by February 3rd.
I had a talk with my husband about weekends and how I have a lot of trouble with them. I am so good at work but on the weekend I just give in, a little too many times. So he said "I know cause you cook us good food and of course you want to eat with us!" or we run out and get something to eat in between errands. So he said he is going to be my referee for the weekend and if we do go out to eat we will need to make sure it's somewhere where I can make healthy selections. I felt relieved. He knows that I want to drop this weight and be over it already. He mounted the bike rack back on my truck, so I am going out to ride it for 2 miles in about 20 minutes. Then I am going to Curves on my lunch break. I am going to talk to the Curves people about doing 1 hour versus the standard 30 minutes. Even 45 minutes would be good with me. I just don't think 30 minutes is really cutting it for me. Then in the afternoon I am taking another 20 minute break and riding my bike once more. So I will be getting about 45 minutes of cardio workout, 45 minutes of Curves which I think they call conditioning workout. If for some reason I cannot do bike riding twice in one day at work, I will need to do it RIGHT when I get home. I have to work it in as a routine. No CLEANING my house, or starting ANYTHING until my workout is done. I am officially blocking in the time.
To start off my weight loss, I am going to start doing Lindora again, following their diet plan basically to keep me in check. I might add in more fruits but that's pretty much it. I am doing 3 protein days so my body will get into Ketosis and my weight loss can once again begin. OK well that's the plan... ;-)
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
I was stuck at 213 and this morning I was up to 214.8!! What??? I was ready to move on from 213 and now I am up. This kind of made me even more sluggish. Not sure what happened there. I have cramps and have had them for a few days but I have not gotten IT yet. In fact I have not gotten IT since November. I am very irregular...I think due to PCOS and I know I need to get back on the PCOS meds. Maybe I will do that today, call my OB and get back on track with that. I haven't done it because being on the PCOS meds will trigger me to ovulate and with a one year old, I am not trying to get pregnant. Birth control pills are not on option for me because of the PCOS...so we will need to try another method of birth control.
My weight loss would actually happen too if I was actually working out. I have been training someone at work this week so I can't go on my morning walk or bike ride and I have not gone to Curves either because I don't want to come back and train someone when I'm all sweaty and out of breath. Excuses excuses....yes I know. Today I WILL go to Curves and ride my bike there. Once the workout is done I am going up "THE hill" and burning some calories off. I am finding it impossible to go when I get home but I will need to get myself out of that "there's so much to do I can't possibly go". I weight myself EVERY day. I do it to keep myself in check you see. I don't want to end up right where I started. It's sad, I know...but this time, I don't feel that it will happen. I am so different. My mentality has changed. I hate hating people. I hate resenting people, I don't like to be envious or jealous of other people and what they have. I don't like gossiping and if I catch myself I try and stop....sometimes I don't though and I need to control myself. I know we are human and I am going to slip...but I use to be such a wench before. I used to talk about everyone and hate on everyone. So my point is...I am a different person and I don't feel like I will fall back into my old ways (when it comes to eating and other bad habits). I may slip on the weekends for 1 or 2 meals but I get back on my feet and all's well again in Berthaland. I am so everywhere today....I'm in such a weird mood so I thought I would come in here and BE weird, because, I can.
OK so I made the famous Tofu Shirataki Noodle shaped Tofu and can you say "MMMMM"?? I could NOT believe that this stuff actually tastes like pasta. When you stir fry it it turns into the taste of ramen noodles but I can easily see myself using to make spaghetti for myself. Yes it was that good!! With only 1 gram of fat per package, 6 carbs, 4 grams of fiber (so really only 2 carbs) and 2 grams of protein, can you really loose??!! It's hard to find but lucky me there is this store right off the 101 freeway which I take to go home and they carry it. I am going to try and make spaghetti this weekend. I have to find a low fat/carb spaghetti sauce though. I didn't realize that the spaghetti sauce in my pantry was so high in sugar. Anyway, I woke up so flippen tired today AND with a headache. I think the "no workout" thing is not working for me. I did sit ups last night though...that counts right?
Happy New Year!! I FINALLY got My hubby to take my picture and boy do I look crazy!! yes, I was a bit horrified when I saw this. I always have this image of what I look like in my head, then the pictures "tell it how it is". This was taken yesterday and I *thought I was looking thinner. My daugher yelled out "suck it in Mom", I said NO NO sucking it in, this is the reality. My posture is horrible when I am not trying to stand up straight. I am top heavy and have been all my life so I have always purposely slouched since I can remember so that I would not draw attention to my double D friends. This pic is just what I needed to help me kick butt on my weight loss in 2006.
This year I want to #1 - get closer to God and pursue my purpose in this lifetime. As I wrote in my "Thank you Jesus" notebook yesterday, I realized how much time I spend on just wanting that week to end so it will be payday and we can "catch up". I feel as if I am wasting my life. It dawned on me that this life is so short and it's passing us by daily. Everyday I am a day older basically. This sounds depressing I know and a bit childish, I know that too...but it's something that we have got be reminded of. I had a great weekend with my family. I really enjoy spending time with them and I can't believe that at some point in my marriage we were SO close to getting a divorce. We were just not on the same page and to tell you the truth I hated him because of the way he was. We didn't go to church, we cursed, smoked, drank and were very unhappy. When we were at that point of our marriage breaking apart his sister invited us to Pacific Baptist Church (christian family church in Long Beach, CA) and I felt like that pastor was talking directly to us. I felt like that for weeks and my husband and I would poke at each other like "DO YOU HEAR WHAT HE'S SAYING!!!) It was the Holy Spirit and 2 years later here we are happier than we have EVER EVER been. We truly love each other, there is no strife in our home, and when there is we talk about it and pray. The #2 thing I want to do is learn how to pray. I pray all the time, but there is a method to praying and I am going to learn! #3 - To continue to loose weight. I have NEVER watched my eating as long as I have this time. As I was preparing my bag for work last night I though "wow I would of quit a long long time ago by now and I am still so committed and I don't feel like I am going to stop anytime soon". I was surprised to realize that my veggies and fruits don't go bad anymore and that I actually run out most of the time. I have lots of fish as well. As I learn how to cook different types of fish the more I enjoy it. My family is getting used to the smell as well ;-)I printed some recipes that I plan on trying tonight. There is lots of fish that I have NEVER tried and I am sorta just going for it.
I have Salmon down to a T. I love baked salmon because it's easy to cook. I place a steak sized portion in a piece of foil, season it and fold all the corners in. Bake it in the oven at 350 degrees for 20 minutes and it's ready. I buy the mixed salad, I don't know the name of it, but it's got the purple lettuce, romaine lettuce, spinach etc. in it and I mix it with 2 tablespoons (sometimes only 1) of Balsamic Vinaigrette (only 8 grams of fat) and a huge side of veggies and I am set. Sometimes I will eat this 3 times a week and ALWAYS loose. I am trying a new fish tonight. So we will see how it turns out. I added a "Pictures" link on the right hand side from Yahoo. I think I can get it to work. Anyway I don't feel so great today. Stomach is kinda screwy so I am gonna get some hot lemon tea. Ta ta...
