So it feels like my life is just about running running and more running. Even though I work at home I don't feel like I am using my time wisely. I am not working out and I have gained 3 pounds in 2 weeks. I went to the doctor yesterday and now have been given regular insulin as my after dinner sugar levels are high. I saw my baby boy on the ultrasound and he is flippen adorable. He was stretching, had the hickups and was tilting his head back. I am still in disbelief. He is so small (I am 21 weeks into pregnancy) yet he is full of life already. I don't want to harm him. I NEED to be better with my fricken eating. I am getting so mad at myself. You know once in a while I will allow myself to indulge but I have pretty much had it with myself. I am done. I am very close to being at the weigh I was at when I started my weight loss challenge. It's weird because it IS really hard to control your eating when you are pregnant but it can also be used as an excuse and that's what I have been doing.
Like last night I suggested we eat dinner at this burger place. I ALMOST got a cheeseburger with fries and the whole deal but I didn't I opted for one of their yummy salads, BUT then I had some of my husbands onion rings and some of Alexis fries. It's like I need to realize that I DO have gestational diabetes and I CANNOT have these foods PERIOD. I knew this when I was pregnant with Alani and I did SO well. So why can't I do this again!!??
We went to church after we ate and our pastor announce two more ladies that are expecting. The Lazzo's and Jones. Both those girls are so pretty, have nice hair, nice clothes and not that I dress like a slob but I FEEL fat, I feel like I look more pregnant than I should sometimes, I was in church last night wondering what their pregnancy wardrobe would look like, and how big they would get. That's bad I think. I kept thinking about keeping my weight in check and also getting a haircut, buying some make up and making an effort to make myself look a tad bit better. I have had gray in my hair since I was about 19 and now I have TONS AND TONS of gray hair so I bought some hair dye on Wednesday night but have not had a chance to do it but I am doing it today and I am going to try and run and get a haircut on my lunch break. I need one. I saw my photo that we took on mothers day and my hair looks AWFUL. It is long but it's all one length and it just looks weighed down and my face looks huge. I need a flippen make over.
I was also thinking of how crowded my closet is and how I have bought some cute maternity clothes BUT I can never find them. SO I am also cleaning out my closet today.
It's TIME FOR CHANGE. I am going to make a list of these things and try and meet these goals by the end of this week. Of course my eating goals are going to be an ongoing thing, even after the baby is born cause I totally want to loose this bulge right away ;-) God bless. Here is Greg Lauries devotional for today. It is great and we have a GREAT GOD!!!
Not Alone
Lord, You have searched me and known me.
— Psalm 139:1
Did you know that your shortcomings and failures come as no surprise to God? He is all-knowing. God knows everything about you. Jesus Christ knows you better than you know yourself. So it came as no shock to the Lord when Peter failed. But Jesus loved that man, just as He loves you.
Jesus even gave Peter a second chance. The disciples were sitting in the Upper Room when Jesus turned to Simon Peter and said something that must have shocked this man to the core: " 'Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you. . . .' " (see Luke 22:31).
Can you imagine if He said that to you? There you are. Your heart is filled with love for Him. You can't think of anyone you love more. And suddenly, Jesus turns to you and says, "Satan has been asking for you."
But I love the next verse. Jesus said to Peter, " 'But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail' " (Luke 22:32). Think of that. Jesus was praying for Peter, just as He is praying for you. If you knew that Jesus was in this room right now, praying for you specifically by name, would that give you courage? Would that give you strength? Would that encourage you?
Let me say this. Right now Jesus Christ is praying for you. We know that because the Bible says, "Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them" (Hebrews 7:25).
Just as surely as Jesus was standing in the gap for Peter, He is standing there for you. He knows you, and He is praying for you. You are not alone.
Man it's been a while since I have been on here. Time has been flying by. I am almost 20 weeks into my pregnancy, half way there.
On Friday we went to our church banquet and it seemed to be over so fast. I think all the planning for the banquet then the day comes and goes so quickly. The church did so well. Our pastor prayed for a certain amount and got a little over that amount. Goes to show how far prayer gets you. My husband even fasted for one day. He had one heck of a headache all day though. He eats so much that it was hard to picture him not eating the entire day. I made him a pitcher of lemonade and he drank 1 glass of it ALL DAY long. The second 24 hours hit he ate. I would of probably gotten a sugar headache..or lack of sugar headache.
Anyway, working from home has saved us financially so much! I keep praying that God help us financially but I think this might be His way of helping. We are saving over $400 on gas each month, well that would be more like $500 now that the gas prices are so crazy. Thank GOD for that!! I guess God's favor was on me when my approval to work from home went through. I get to sleep in till 5 or 6am. I can basically start working whenever as long as I work 8 hours. I can work overtime. I mean, this is a huge huge blessing and I realize that.
Financially we are in a big bind. I know a lot of it has to do with my husband not working and not having ANY income at all, BUT it seems like no matter if he's bringing home $600 a week or not, we are still broke. It's like we don't learn or something. We need to get with it. I have so many bills to pay right now. $500 for Alexis school bill plus I need to pay the $110 registration fee for next year by 5/15. THEN I have to pay our cable/phone/DSL connection $190, rent $1050, $120 by June 1st for the Ladies Conference and a slew of other things. Unemployment has been playing games with my husband all month and to top it all off our bank LOST a $340 deposit we made. Yes, lost it and had NO record of it despite the ATM machine giving us a receipt. Keep in mind that when you make a deposit via ATM, the machine will not give you a receipt unless you put in the deposit slip, so they kept saying we never made a deposit, so my husband asked the branch manager to go and make a deposit so she could see what he was talking about. He said "Ok let's say I didn't make an actual deposit, where is the "empty" envelope I put in there"???? They could not answer the question. Since the deposit was cash, we think someone stole it and erased the record of the deposit. Thank God my husband had the receipt or we would not have ANY say so on this issue. Anyway, the back basically owes us $500+ dollars. So we will see where that takes us.
Anway, hope you have a blessed day.
