Definition of Motivation

So I have this post it on my monitor that reads

MOTIVATION

- That which gives purpose & direction to behavior.

It's been there for about 2-3 months I'm guessing and I feel like I just understood it. I'm lacking purpose and direction.

What's the purpose of me loosing weight. I'm listing some things for myself.

Health and all the ailments of being overweight. Pain in feet, knees, upcoming Diabetes, skin problems, mental health and MORE!

Looks - yes I want to look good too!

Kids - I want to teach them to be healthy adults.

Now I'm looking for that direction. There are so many choices? Should we just start eating healthier (no frying etc), should we do low carb, should I do Lindora, should I do my liquid diet.

This last part is getting to me. I think I have enough things under purpose. I'm working on this.

On another point, work has been absolute hell. I mean it felt like hell in here when the A/C broke downstairs. But that's not why it's been hell....we've all been dealing with a nightmare issue with one of my co-workers and she's one of the most difficult people I've had to deal with. She's not a normal person. Like I've tried and tried to be reasonable with this person and so I've really had to reach out to God on dealing with her. I pulled tons of scripture on this and I need to go home and study these verses. I'm sure going to need it because this is far from over.

Trying to find it in me

But it's just not there. What am I talking about? Weight loss of course! I'm really thinking about going back to doing the New Lifestyle diet. That's the only thing that's going to help me loose the weight and do it fast. I have a very short "motivation span" and so I feel like when I decide...like really DECIDE to loose weight, I need to do it and I need to do it fast. I lost quite a bit of weight last time and I think I can do it again. The problem? The holidays are coming and I always do this to myself! I start when the holidays are going to kick in. BUT if you think about it, if I start now, October 15th I can potentially be down 45-50 pounds by Christmas. THAT would be really nice.

The first week I always drop 10 pounds. Then if I stick to my program, 5 pounds a week from there X 8 weeks = 50 pounds, this would put me under 200. I think I am at about 240 or so. I had gown down to about 230 but of course I always sabotage myself when I'm loosing weight.

I would love to order more shakes but the money situation does not permit me to do so. I'm going to have to finish off what I have in my cabinets and hope I can order more stuff soon. If not, I'll just get SOME....

Work is stressfull in a way. I mean, I try not to let it stress me out but it does. I drive in to work every morning now versus working from home.

Anyway, my walk with God is improving. My families walk with God is improving as well which makes things at home run so much smoother. Alright well that's it for now...going to try and come on here daily so I can make myself accountable.

God Bless.