This morning I asked God for help in my eating. I have just been eating too much and not very healthy foods. Like last night I got up and made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and since we were fresh out of milk I poured myself a glass of grape/cranberry juice. I remember doing this when I was pregnant with Alani and I didn't like it very much. I stopped doing this of course after I started with the diabetic monitoring but in the beginning like the first 4 or 5 months of my pregnancy I put on an easy 15 poounds. I don't want to do that this time but if I continue like this I am going to end up there really quickly.
This morning I got up with the worst stomach ache (not baby stomach ache) and man..(warning gross post ahead)..I din't think a human body could hold this much gas. I was starting to get scared, it just would NOT stop!!! I got to work and BARELY made it to the bathroom and I am very happy to say that I feel SOOOO much better. I read that during pregnancy the digestive system slows quite a bit. I am starting to see that now.
I have TONS of frozen veggies in the fridge at home so I have healthy food. I just need to go and buy some salmon and some tri-tip steak so I can have my hubby BBQ it and I can have food for the week. I know tri-tip is higher in fat but it's delish and I figure if I eat that, it beats eating a cheeseburger, taco bell, chips and junk of that sort. I also have a huge bag of salad that's just sitting in the fridge....staring at me. So this weekend I think I will try and purchase these things so we don't go out to eat. My hubby has to work Saturday (tomorrow) so it looks like I am cleaning house and watching the girls.
Alexis has been really whinny lately and Alani is just driving me nuts, she's been sick though so she has an excuse but Alexis, she's just being whinny. I will probably take them to the park or out somewhere. All we have been doing all week is going home, cleaning, eating dinner, read our bible (most days) and go to bed. So I am sure they are tired of the routine. Maybe we will just walk to the park. That way I get a work out in there somewhere.
Alright well that's it I guess. Have a good weekend. This is the verse I really need to take it.
"I have not departed from the commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food."
— Job 23:12
So I often wondered how women would spend months and months, even years loosing weight, then once they got pregnant they gained it all back. I so understand how this can happen. I have been eating crappy since I found out I was pregnant. Not sure what the damage is until I weight myself on that digital scale at the doctors office. Ok so the #1 reason for me eating crappy is that I KNOW I will be put on the gestational diabetes diet within the next week or so. So I thought I would indulge until then. The problem with that is that I have felt like I was 4 months pregnant (well I might be) but still. I didn't feel 4 months pregnant on 2/10 so why should I feel like this 11 days later? Anyway, my bloating from all the crap that I ate is pretty much gone. I have been eating a little better the past 2 days. The problem has also been that we have been eating take-out SINCE 2/10. I am making an effort to start making our breakfast, lunch and dinners now. I am also going to continue walking with Laura during my 20 minute breaks so I am work out a little. Depending on the weight I did gain during my 10 day feasting, I only want to gain a total of 15 pounds. This way, when I give birth, all the weight will come off :-) Sounds nice, now let's see if this will happen.
Anyway, so much has happened since my my OB surprised me with "peanut". I ended up telling my boss, and she said that when things start to get tough, with my diabetes, blood pressure, to let her know, get a note from my doctor and she will let me work from home. OH MY SOUL! I was so surprised and thankful. The perks of working from home are this #1 - Get 2 more hours of sleep PER DAY #2 - Once I get off at 1:30, I am already at home! I don't need to commute for 1 or 2 hours. #3- Save about $400 a month on GAS. #4-mileage on my new Envoy (well it's a 2002 but it looks brand spankin new).
So my other blessing, was that we GOT a 2002 GMC Envoy. It's so the bomb! It has low mileage, it's got the whole shabang! (leather and electric everything). Like when I am backing up, the mirrors adjust so I can see the curb, the mirrors even have a defrost fuction! I must be ghetto cause I didn't even know this existed! I have a car payment now, but with our growing family I didn't have a choice we had to get a new car. Now all I am waiting to get is my first ultrasound which will confirm my due date and I get to see my new bubs heart beat and hopefully we will get to see him/her squirming around. I can't wait!!! March 1st is the date. I took my 1-Hour Glucose tolerance test yesterday and I think that's why I have a headache today and why I had one last night. Too much sugar at once. I have a nasty bluise where the lab tech drew my blood. I am not really afraid on needles but this one was honking HUGE! I have a bruise to prove it!
Yet another blessing!!!! I just listened to some of my 10 voicemails at work, and one of them was from a fundraiser we were using, I lagged a little on sending the materials back (what we didn't sell) and they were going to charge us $15 per book and I had like 100 of them!! Man I panicked so bad! We can't pay $1500!! After I got off that call I prayed and prayed and prayed! On the LOOOOONG drive home on Friday that's all I could think of and I knew that would happen but before I left work I said a heatfelt prayer to our Lord God and I searched scripture for a Word from Him, I NEEDED to hear from Him because I was on the verge of tears and breaking down, then he LITERALLY led me to 1 Kings 9:3 which is this (I am still in awe and I should be because HE is good!!):
"The LORD said to him:
"I have heard the prayer and plea you have made before me; I have consecrated this temple, which you have built, by putting my Name there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there."
When I read this, I instantly felt the heavyness in my heart drop. I still fought thinking about it on my 3 hour drive home, but I knew He would be there, even if I did have to pay for it, He would be there to support me. Thank you God!
Man I feel great! I promised God that I will become a better Christian. I must. He has given so much to me already, even before I was born, and now this. I am just in awe of His greatness. I hope that anyone reading this will go to the "Plan of Salvation" link on the right, get right with God, accept Jesus as your Lord Savior and pray. Pray your heart out to Him and you will see great things from Him. THAT is guranteed. Live right and you will reap the rewards. YOU WILL HEAR FROM HIM.
God bless.
It's funny how you can get wrapped up in life's little details and not notice the obvious. I went to my OB appointment, met with the REALLY nice nurse, then met Dr. Nelson and she was a SHE....I still have a phobia with men OB's for some reason. Anyway, she walked in, introduced herself, we talked about my weight loss and I told her what my goal was, we discussed my PCOS for a second, I had my list ready you know. I was ready to get on this PCOS subject then she says "well you are going to have to put a hold on your weight loss and stop taking Metformin" and I thought "Oh no she's a crazy wack doctor) she continued...."because you are expecting". I SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY almost passed out right there sitting on the examining table. My reply to her was "WHAT"!??!? I truly did not know what was happening. I was confused. How? Come again. I felt like saying...ok let's just pretend you didn't say that. Let me pee in that cup of yours again cause we weren't even going to do the pee test since I do not ovulate. But the nurse said, at the last minute, "well...um...let's just do one because that's protocal". I said "eh sure" sorta like "well ok but you're wasting your pregnancy test"......***sigh** and now here I am, pregnant.
I am gonna have 3 kids. WHOA. The thing is, God was preparing me for this news ALL week!! I was loading Alani's baby pics to FLIKR and I got kinda sad cause I know I would wait longer than I should to have another baby. She was so little! I know I would not take that step to trying again. So *I* think I am about 8 weeks pregnant, due date would be 9/17/06. Ok well I got work to do so will come back later.
I finally have my gyno appt. today. I am not looking forward to it but I am. Make sense? I have been really good about NOT weighing myself every day. I am avoiding it because I am trying to get out of my "down in the dumps" mood. I am not sure if the scale is causing it. I was not so sleepy yesterday which was good and I got some things done but I still can't wait for this weekend.
I was telling my husband that I felt like going to Ensenada Mexico or something. Just take a drive and get out of here for a day or two. He doesn't like Mexico too much though...he would go to like Puerto Vallarta or one of the nicer parts of Mexico but we would have to take a plane there and stay for at least 4 days. Ensenada is only 3 hours away so that is very do-able.
Well the missionaries are visiting our church from all over the world so I will be in church today, tomorrow and Sunday. Some people are going to be there Saturday but the girls need time with us so we are just gonna hang out with them. It's supposed to be really nice out so we might go to the beach and hang out. Not much is happening in my life right now. I created a MYspace website a while ago and I am not really attached to it. This is really the only place I come to vent and talk about real life issues. I just feel too exposed on MySpace. Plus whenever I do go on there, I sometimes visit old friends sites and they have tons of pics of them with Margarita's and beer in their hands and they appear to be having quite a good time. I sometimes I miss my old life. I miss it because now that we are Christians we CAN'T hang out with the old crowd. But then this morning I believe God spoke to me through this GREAT devotional....it hit the spot...THANK YOU JESUS FOR OPENING MY EYES!
Don't Look Back
But Jesus told him, "Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God."
Luke 9:62
I find it interesting how we can look at the past through rose-colored glasses. Remember the children of Israel? They had been delivered from the tyranny and bondage of Egypt, where they had been slaves for years. They cried out to God for deliverance, and the Lord answered their prayers through a man named Moses.
As they were making their way through the wilderness, God supernaturally fed them with an incredible substance called manna. It was like bread from heaven. They had it daily for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But after awhile, they got a little tired of it. They said, "We are sick of manna. We remember the good old days back in Egypt, where we used to eat garlic, leeks and onions. [Their breath must have really stunk, by the way.] Those were the good old days. . . . If we could only go back."
They spoke of the good old days, but they basically ate table scraps in Egypt, because they were slaves. Their lives were miserable. Yet in their imaginations, they had magnified these scraps to some sumptuous feast they had each and every day. They were not looking at the past accurately.
In the same way, the devil may remind you of the old days: "Remember the good old days? Remember the fun you used to have? Remember that old flame? If only you could reignite that." And suddenly you begin to think about it.
Don't build up the past in your mind. Remember it for what it was. Don't allow the enemy to pull you down by fantasizing about it. Protect your mind, and don't look back.
Ok so for the very first time this week...or actually EVER. I did not drink coffee this morning and BOY....that coffee helps me out more than I thought. I was SOOOO sleepy driving here AND I went to bed at 7:30 last night!!! I actually fell asleep AGAIN during our family bible reading time! Ugh...I feel bad. I read Matthew chapter 8 and Alexis and my husband took turns reading Matthew Chapter 9. Well by the time they finished, my head started to slide off my hand (which was holding my head up) and I woke up. I could tell Serg was a little annoyed..he said "babe you should go to bed". We made the effort to do our bible reading early so I would NOT fall asleep and I still did. I don't know WHAT is wrong with me. Man tomorrow cannot come fast enough. I have my doctors appointment and I am going to have a slew of blood work done.
For a change, I went for a 1 mile walk with Laura yesterday and plan to do it all week - we took a 1/2 break and went for it. It felt good but I didn't stretch afterwards and I woke up a few times last night with leg cramps.
I also had THE stangest dream...it's hard to explain, but all I remember is seeing me face, with a white tag or label sticking out from the side that read "FAITH". I do struggle with having Faith a lot and I think this was a message from God for me. So today I am going to read scriptures from the bible about having more faith and strengthening my faith.
I added a FLIKR picture thing to my blog...I love going to other blogs and looking at pics...gives me more of a reason to READ the blog..cause you have a visual of that person. I dunno, maybe that's just me.
I've been super busy at work this week so my time on blog reading has really been non existent most of the time. Sometimes I add others blogs to my favorites and I visit them a few times a week. If I really like them I will add them to my blog reads BUT I have found that many people only come to their blog like 1 a month...so I will usually scrap those. Anyway, I have to unfortunately get back to work. Will chat later. Ta ta..
I was off on Friday - I went to a 9am dentist appointment for myself and what I thought was going to be a 20 minute visit was actually a two hour visit. I thought my whole root canal experiece was over with. I was supposed to get "fitted" for a crown...and they still ended up torturing me and I still got stuck with a needle and all that. I saw the assistant set out a tray with a grip of stuff and I must of had a HUGE question mark on my face cause she sat there and told me what was going to happen. SO I am still not done. I have to go back in 2 weeks AGAIN to get my crown put on. I have only EVER had 3 cavities so this has been quite an experience.
I was late taking Alexis to her Ortho appointment and since I kept her home from school to specifically get her to her Orthodontist I was very PEEVED to say the least to be getting there late. The girl got me in though so I was thankful to God that they did not turn us away. The thing that annoyed me is that the dentist that worked on Alexis was mean to her. She was very rude and it's been bugging me. When I got there, I noticed that she was having "words" with the staff there. I thought that was quite unprofessional. That seems to be the norm nowadays. I went to my dentist office and it was the same there! Office catfights. So immature. Anyway, I am debating whethere I should complain about this dentist. I don't want her working on Alexis. So I think I might call and specifically request that Alexis does NOT get this dentist next time.
I feel like crap today (yes again). Last week I didn't work out at ALL. I worked out a schedule with Serg on the days I would be working out. I ate badly this weekend. I got sick to my stomach this morning. With this medicine, you sorta feel like you are in the pregnant "morning sickness" stage. It sucks. As I was urling this morning I asked "am I pregnant"? but I remembered that I used to throw up morning after morning for a couple of weeks. I have just been nauseous 24/7.
I have also been hurting spiritually. We go to a Baptist fundamental church and my friend goes to a non-denominational church. There is a lot of opposition to Baptist churches. It makes me sick that because we go to this baptist church we are being "flagged" as religious and basically being told that we are wrong in belonging to our church and for having our daughter in the school. I want to say that right now I am angry. I did not actually start feeling this way until this morning. I just feel like this friend threw out a few scriptures about how God will basically "punish" us for not listening to her. I am going to have to pray hard because all this type of drama, I believe, pushes people away from God. I mean it has to!! It's so dramatic and can easily confuse anyone and make them run away from God. There are these ugly fights amongst christians and it's just such a turn off. Let me just stop there. Alright, well I need to work out hard this week. I need it for my sanity. I will weigh in on Wednesday.
"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." (Proverbs 23:7)
**Grosse Post warning**
Ok so yesterday I got my meds and I began taking them today. 1500mg of Metformin. I am getting ready for the diarhea to start kicken in. I am supposed to have it for at least 3 days OR I will get it when I have too many carbs. I will visit the doctor on 2/9. He may adjust the meds. I am going to ask him about another med that is supposed to work great with Metformin so we will see how it goes. I feel a lot better today. I did my taxes last night and did not get as much as I did last year but I thank GOD I am getting some money. It all goes to bills but that's ok.
Tonight is church and I am nervous since my stomach is not very stable. I would just stay home BUT we have a guest preacher speaking today, Dr. Phil Kidd and he is pretty darn good. We heard a sermon CD someone gave us and he was funny and it really spoke to me. So listening to him live will be a treat. We have to get there early as well as there is going to be 5 other churches coming to see him there. WHOA. Our church already gets packed out as it is. I am wondering where all these people are going to sit?
Anyway, well I have tons of work to do today and I have to kick butt as I am OFF tomorrow. HURRRR - AYYYY. That will be nice. 3 day weekend for a change.
I got home from work yesterday and my husband had cleaned my house! For once I didn't have to hurry & change out of my work clothes, start cleaning up & feed Alani (she's always starving when we get home). As I sat there chatting with him, I started to doze off. He suggested I go and take a much deserved nap. Well that 30 minute planned nap turned into 2 hours!! He was doing something to the truck (oil changing and all that sorta stuff) and took my little one with him so I would not wake up. Isn't he the best? He knows I just haven't been myself this week. I look terrible. Today I look *ok* but I still look like crap. Anyway, after the nap I made spaghetti for dinner. I ate spaghetti too, BUT, I made mine with a lower calorie spaghetti sauce and low carb wheat pasta. I used ground turkey breast. I baked a strawberry bundt cake for Alexis and the hubby (ok I had a small itty bitty slice and like 3 oz of milk) OH and I made them some garlic bread (for them). I was actually not even tempted. The cake, I could of done without but I was like *eh what the heck.
So today I am in a flippen bad mood. What is up with me? I just wrote in my "thank you Jesus" notebook and I seriously need His guidance in getting out of this horrid mentality. I sorta feel like I am making myself depressed for no apparant reason! It's like "WHAT IS UP"??
Today I am making myself take a walk. I need SOME sort of workout. A nice long walk sounds good. This will give me some time to reflect on what is going on with me. I blamed it on being tired, so fine I got some rest and now I am in a bad mood!! I am mad at myself can you tell? Well it's not going to get any better by me complaining. It's time to do something about it. My meds are almost here, hopefully today. I can't wait!
