Lately I have had this crazy urge to just leave Long Beach and move far from here. I think I let little things get to me. My mind is just nutty...it's a combination of my small place, but then I come to realize how good I have it. I am irrational most of the time so I have to stop and process these thoughts.
Yesterday someone mentioned to me that they were no longer going to be going to our Reformer's group at church (addictions program) and she told me that her son wasn't going to be going either because he feels very depressed afterwards. He stuggled with addictions for years, he's a young guy and actually had a child with a girl while they were both addicted to drugs....ANYWAY..the reason he thinks he feels depressed is because he feels he is revisiting all the bad memories from when he was on drugs. I think this is kinda maybe how my husband is feeling. I feel like this sometimes too! I love RU though and the ladies in my group that I God has blessed me to counsel but I feel depressed after it's all over! My husband for sure. I think he has a calling to work with boys with no father figure. He really has a heart for them because I think he understands them. These boys gravitate to my husband. He is very very straight-to-the point type of person and will not lie to you if you ask him to be honest. He's like this especially with these boys and they look for him at church all the time. Some of these single mom's although they try to provide as much as possible for their boys, they can never take the place of a father. Last night, pastor was very passionate about DOING SOMETHING about it!! He told everyone "I know the Holy Spririt has put SOMETHING in your heart and you need to come and talk to me so we can discuss this and possible act on what is being placed in our hearts".
The Holy spirit has placed the same exact feeling in my heart for my husband and I think I have gotten that feeling because I need to be supportive of my husband. I am not necessarily being called to do something at the church because I need to care for my home and support my husband. It makes a lot of sense. For things to fall together like a puzzle is not easy. So today I am going to suggest to him that he talk to Pastor.
Ok as for my eating...it's been not so great since early last week but I am getting back on track today. I need to squeeze in gym workouts as well during this week. Ok well that's all for now. Till later God bless.
Life has just been passing me by! I can't believe how fast time flies. It's scary and sad but yet good in a weird way. I am in such a weird mood! I have been so busy trying to get my house clean for the past two weeks! I mean don't get me wrong my house is pretty clean but when it comes down to getting to the real cleaning it was so totally not. I have literally been scrubbing walls and getting rid of older furniture and just things that I don't need anymore. Saturday we went and picked up our new sofa. I basically got it for $650 (includes the rental of a U-haul trailer). I decided to buy a used sofa because A) I didn't want to spend $1400 for a badly built sofa that looked nice on the outside but was made of cheap materials and bad construction B) I would of had to of paid $100 for scotch guard and last but not least TAX. So I got this couch from this rich couple that basically changed their minds on the color of the sofa they wanted in their family room and they paid over $2,000 for it AND got the best scotch guard on it. Bonus was they got it cleaned for us before we picked it up and spent almost $200 doing that alone. So I think it was a super great deal. THEN I bought a patio set for $30 from some couple moving to Washington. 
We were just going to move our old couches out but while we were moving things out of the house to make room for our new and improved sofa, we realized how dirty our white carpet was. So off my husband ran to rent a commericial grade carpet cleaning machine that only costs $20 to rent AND does an excellent job at cleaning. Don't get me wrong the thing is heavy and will kick your butt. Let's just say that on Sunday, we were all exausted and didn't even make it to church. I was in SO much pain because of all the work we did, I had to keep poppin Ibuprofen every 4 hours. My arms were killing me. Sunday we went to JCPENNEY bought new drapes, had the worst time with customer rep and the district manager gave us a HUGE discount on anything we were going to buy the next day. I ended up buying a very very nice rug for living room (chocolate brown) for $28. Original price was $170.
Yesterday we cleaned out our garage and I think my husband is a bit relieved about that. I seriously think that was getting to him. He wants to fix the boat, he wants to get the motor running for the boat but things were in the way! So we got rid of things and now I feel better too!
Ok well I am at work today and have tons of things to do. Till later! God bless.
I haven't added photos to my flikr since like forever so gotta work on that this weekend. I've spent two birthdays at my parents house and when I turned 30, two weeks before I got pregnant with my 3rd child, I was getting to my thinnest weight and I was really proud of what I had accomplished. This year I was at my biggest weight to date. Quite depressing and it would be more depressing if I wasn't doing anything about it. I've lost 14 pounds since my "fatest picture EVER" (not to mention I look like cousin "IT" with THAT hair) but I am still big. I've got some weight to drop before I get there but I am making my way there and that's what counts. Seriously, I can't even LOOK at that picture for long but I HAVE to make myself look at it. I don't see myself that fat, but I am....
My long lost best friend, who stopped talking to us because we were Baptist Christians instead of just regular christians I guess, has been e-mailing me lately. I wonder if God's been convicting her of her decision to cut us out of her life? I was very confused and didn't understand why she did that. I mean, I would understand if I was an atheist and her a devout christian and we butted heads constantly and had NOTHING in common, but we believe in the same God, Salvation by grace through faith, as a free gift of God, through Jesus Christ our Savior. My christianity is not really different from hers except for TWO things that I KNOW bugged her really bad about our church....in our denomination we don't have women preachers and we don't listen to rock christian music, there are a few other things but those TWO things is what she was really peeved about. She wants to be a preacher and she listens to rock christian music. I am totally NOT judging her because I mean, to me, there's nothing wrong with that, it doesn't say in the bible that a christian cannot listen to rock music, but I've come to see that it does lead christian astray. I would of never cut off my friendship with her over that. In fact, that sounds ludicrous. Anyway....she starting by sending me e-cards and asking me a question here and there which she hasn't done in a couple of years...I stopped trying to communicate with her and trying to basically convince her that I was a person just like her and now she's starting to make the effort I suppose.
So tomorrow me and my husband are going to go to the Long Beach Marine Boat Auction! I am SOOOOO excited. We are SO close to having our boat up and running! This weekend after the auction, Brother John and his dad, which are excellent car and boat mechanics are coming over for lunch AND to help my husband put together the motor that's going to go on our boat! We are also supposed to go to Los Angeles to pick out the carpet that's going to go on the boat. The one it has now has to be replaced. I can't wait to take my kids on a cruise on our little boat! There are tons of canal type water areas (connected to the ocean) that we can cruise on....so exciting and a blessing from God!
Hope you have an excellent weekend! God Bless.
I have been so super swamped lately. Life and work. My eating was not THE best this weekend but most of it was grilled of some sort. I just didn't measure portions because I was basically out and about. I have not weighed myself because I FEEL all the water I am retaining due to AF. Once that's gone I will. Workouts have basically been me running around, walking A LOT...hopefully it's doing something.
I had a looong talk with my hubby about me cooking healthy for my family. There's been a lot of cheating on their side and I put my foot down and said I was refusing to continue to spend hours planning and making healthy meals for them if the second they stepped out the door they find a cheeseburger and fries in their mouth. The decision to change HAS to come from them. I'm not MAKING them do anything. I told him and Alexis to let me know once they were ready.
Today I am at work and they are buying us lunch. Anyway...my e-mails are rolling in and I have tons of work. Till later...God bless.
I'm missing my family so much right now.... It would be so great so just go over to my sisters house or have them come over from time to time. I'm sure I've written about this before, especially when we come back from visiting during the holidays. My mom likes to go for walks but my other two sisters are lame when it comes to hanging out with my mom or doing stuff with her. I mean, besides just running errads and such with her. I've talked about moving closer to them but we haven't exactly gotten God's blessing on that and I don't want to move anywhere without his blessings. Who knows what life would turn out to be if we went against what He has in store for us. Hopefully I can drive out there for a visit soon. I think I might, and let Sergio stay home by himself to relax. I am sure he would enjoy going fishing or something without having us call him and asking him what time he was going to get home.
I did my taxes online for the very first time! My state taxes were already approved but I think I messed up with my last name on the federal. I just realized it too. I still haven't changed my maiden name to my married name and my tax guy always submits it with my maiden name because of that. I didn't make that change online. Stinks. Oh well I will have to fix it if it gets rejected. I've been married for almost 11 years and ya'd think I would of done that by now huh? I just went to the social security site and got the application. I will handle it this month :-)
Weight loss land has brought me up a pound! I am not worried because #1 - I am not taking my meds because I am out and I have to go to the dr. today to get an annual tests, some blood work THEN I can get a re-fill on my meds. #2 - I officially started my monthly..I think..I think it's been a month since the last one. I need to go back and read through my posts because that's the only way I remember. I bought a calendar for my purse so I will actually start to document this stuff. #3 - I am constipated...yuk I know. I didn't drink as much water as I should of yesterday. oh and #4 - I lost body fat. I guess that's the most important thing. Body fat loss. I am down 2% for my body fat.
Well I guess that's it. I have lots of work and not enough time. Till later..God Bless.
