So today I wake up and actually feel my bulgin' belly feel a bit smaller and so I decided to jump on the scale. From yesterday I show a 1.6 pound loss. I actually just had to double check that because it was hard to believe. I am so super tired and haven't worked out but today I am going to make a bee-line to the gym and have me a good work out. I totally cleaned house yesterday and my husband did lots of laundry. I have like 3 huge drawer full of just tops and they were an absolute mess so I got those straightened out. Most of those tops I will not get to wear until I hit the 20 pound mark loss so I can't wait. I think I've lost a total of 8 or 9 pounds by now...need to go back and check my actual start weight. Tomorrow is week 3.
I need to wake up Alexis is a few minutes so she can start getting ready to go to the Youth Conference. She needs to pack some snacks for herself. Yesterday she took some but being the generous soul that she is, she shared and apparantly everyone and their mom was starving so everyone took from her low carb stash and left her with little. I would of probably done the same but she needs to eat her snacks on the downlow. Those girls can just walk on up to ANY vending machine and get their fix. There is nothing low carb in those machines for Alexis.
So tonight I have church so I need to make dinner during my lunch break and take 20 minute power walks with Grabriel or Alani during my breaks. So we will see today how it works out.Ok well ta ta, off to make some morning coffee. God Bless.
So from Thursday to Monday I lost another pound which is cool. Even though I should be happy I am always disappointed. I don't know what I expect...I guess I expect to see "165" on the scale but I see "that other weight" which I am too embarrased to post at this time. I promise when I hit the 20 pound loss mark I will reveal the number.
Alexis is continuing to do well. My husband is sneaking in sugars slowly...and I don't want to nag him but he's SO totally and utterly clueless so I kindly reminded him that sugars are a no no, no matter the small amounts he's using. He said he was just waiting for me to say something...I thought "why wait dude"? Apparantly he just can't get used to other sweetening methods. So whatever. He's still loosing though which is a great but if he was to cut out that sugar all together then he'd be in a much better place. Reminding him is as much as I will do. I refuse to nag him because he gets frustrated very easily and he is his mothers son. Their entire family lives on the edge of loosing it. He was the worst, attitude wise, and now he seems to keep his cool much better than they do but he still looses it "quietly" but I can tell he's about to burst with anger sometimes. He checks himself though and many times realizes that it's something that's not really a big deal.
So today I am walking with some co-workers to Costco. I have no lettuce (gasp!) and I also need to hopefully buy some 1/2 and 1/2 if they have it. Oh I need eggs too..we go through eggs like crazy. I need my low carb tortillas too...price to pay when you are mexican is ya need some sort of tortilla in your life....yes it's like no mustard on your corndog, no cheese on your pizza, no ketchup on your fries, ok you get it....wow these are all junkfoods! Cravings anyone?
Ok what else? SO busy at work so I should really go...I'll come back tomorrow and talk about nothingness :-) God Bless.
You know what's SO funny everyone at work is like "Happy Friday! Happy Friday" so I kinda go along with it...but the weekend for me is crazyness! My days return to normal when I return to work on Monday. Yes, I'm the one that says "Happy Monday" and people look at me with darting eyes.
I went to church last night and I loved the message! It talked about how we go to church, we get involved in everything at church but just because we dress right, speak right, etc. doesn't mean we are going in the right direction. It's true! We are so judgemental towards people that "don't dress right" or "speak right" and you know what? They might be closer to God and going in the right direction than someone that's a Sunday school teacher. I haven't read my bible all week. I haven't spent enough dedicated time with the Lord but I am sure one of the ladies in my group in the RU group meeting tonight has. So that message really spoke to me and I realized that I truly do need to get to it. God works out everything for me, He really does.
On to weight stuff...haven't weighed myself but I can still feel like my eating habits are doing it's trick. Alexis's belly is shrinking dramatically and I am curious to see how much weight she's dropped but I'm not going to suggest that she weighs herself cause I don't want her to feel that pressure that sooooo many girls feel. We went grocery shopping last night and my husband commented on how much more stuff we use to get for the same amount of money or less. I said YEP but it's all junk!! I went through the grocery store "specials" in the paper and everything that was on sale were Pop Tarts, Chips, cookies, etc. Nothing healthy.
Ok well I gotta get back to work so I can sign off for the day and start getting ready for Reformers Unanimous tonight. I want to get some type of lesson together for the ladies I counsel in my group. There are some tough ladies in there so I need to be more prepared. Till later, God Bless.
What I mean is I've seen some really great progress in my husband....actually in me too attitude wise. His attitude has improved 100% and I actually think he's enjoying the energy he's been having lately too. This morning I made him some breakfast and I asked him to buy lunch because I was too tired and I had to start working (working from home). He's going to get a protein burger.
Yesterday the bosses at his work brought in tons of donuts and he said he HAD to have a little piece but I think it was more like peer pressure...nobody actually pressured him but he felt oligated to play it off like he eats donuts like the other men...Junk food is a stable food amoungst his peers and you stand out if you don't join in.
I've felt like that at work and I've felt resentful towards people that refused to join in on potlucks because they've been watching what they were eating. But I know that those feelings of resentment where just because I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THEM, eating healthy and passing up the goods.
Last night the hubby and I discussed switching to ONLY organic foods. They are so super expensive though (especially the meat) so we will see how that goes. It's not like I have tons of money to toss around. Maybe now that we are saving money on eating out we can afford better quality food.
Alexis and I went to the gym last night. She went into the pool because she's not allowed in the gym area yet. I walked on the treadmil but was eager to get to the pool. I haven't gone for a swin because I always feel intimidated. Too many people so I don't go swimming. We went late last night so there were hardly any people there. So I think we will be doing that more often.
Well I think that's it. Need to go grocery shopping again and tonight we have church so I will need to handle that today after I get off work. Maybe I will take the kids to the duck pond or somewhere.
Alright till later. God bless.
I really should not be counting....but I am. It's been one week and I am down almost 6 pounds. That weight loss made a little bit of a dent in the weight I need to loose. I need to get all the "extra" fat off of me before I even start seeing any results. Right now I still look fat but I am not as uncomfortable as I was a week ago. Seriously. I was buldging. The Fam feels the same.
I had a talk with hubby and he's being much nicer and complimentary about everything. He realized (by actually paying attention) of all the work that eating right entails. I am getting use to cooking and I had them bookmark recipes from the 15-Minute Low Carb recipe book. Lots of REALLY good recipes and they don't have weird ingredients that require you to look everywhere under the sun to find. I mean low carb foods in general require you to run around like a mad woman to find. Till I find a closer store that is. I live in Southern California and we just want everything handed to us...which is why we're so FAT! Anyway, gas is expensive and time is not something I have to waste. Mom is needed darn it. I read Beck's blog the other day (requires you to have log in and password to read which is why I am not linking her site on this blog entry) but she talked about how feeling needed makes you feel good. I was thiking to myself is this true about me? In a sense it is but then again it's not. I mean I would feel sad if my family did not NEED me at all....but all the NEED I am experiencing at the moment in my household is definitely unwanted. Really.
Ok so anyway, I have lots of work so I need to make this entry brief (again) - so weight loss good so far. I think I need to cut more fat out of our diet though. I have been using margerine and I guess I need to use Butter. So I need to run and get expesive butter cause expensive it is! So the goal for the week is to try to minimize the fat a bit, get some EVOO cause the one I have in my cabinet is too thick. What else? OH work out more! Tonight we are all heading to the gym. Gonna see about playing basketball with the FAM, the gym has basketballs, then I will head up to the treadmill or bike for 40 minutes and they can all go swimming...sounds like a plan. Oh I am totally taking my meds now and I feel so much better. I took my meds before I left work yesterday and I almost fell asleep on the way home (driving...yikes!). God bless.
I have been eating this Flax seed oatmeal-like hot cereal in the morning and man is it good!!! There is a strawberries and cream that I totally need to get. The bad thing is that it's like $6.99 - that's what sucks about eating low carb - everything is flippen expensive. The Falx seed chips are good too but they are almost $4 a bag. Anyway I guess it keeps us from eating too many. I'm the only one that eats the hot cereal..for now anyway. I think as time passes and The fam forgets what real oatmeal tastes like, they will give this flax meal hot cereal a try and will like it. My taste buds are more accepting of "different" foods. 1/2 a cut of this stuff (dry) which makes about 1 cup once you add water and Half & Half is 2 Net carbs. Not so bad huh? I added a 1/2 banana and some Equal and it was bomb.
I don't have to much time to journal today but I did want to come on here and mention that although I may be spending more time buying healthier food (or low carb foods) we have only eaten out ONCE in one whole week and that alone has probably made us break even on the money we WOULD of spent eating out or saved us some money. We had Protein burgers from In-N-Out and they were very good. No fries thank you. Maybe we'll go out to eat to TFI Friday's cause they have low carb friendly foods...Anyway, I have a meeting in like 4 minutes so I gotta go.
Oh I am also not going to log my foods in the calorie counter thing-a-ma-bob cause it does not remove the fiber from the carbs so it makes it look like i have tons of carbs eaten for the day. So I am going to journal my foods manually....
ok till later. God Bless.
Can you believe it?...it actually all began on Tuesday. I had a sit down with "The Fam", when I say The Fam I mean husband & Alexis (Alani and Gabriel are too young to understand so they don't count right now but are being involuntarily included in the talk). ANYWAY, we talked about how we are all fatter than ever and that we needed to do something about it. I heard "well why don't you just do this"? I can't because #1 - I am not the only fat one #2 - I can't sit there and cook 2 different types of foods all the time A) it's not fair to me and B) I can't deal with giving them unhealthy food and then turn around and make something nice and healthy for me.
There are many other reasons...I don't want Alani & Gabrield to struggle with being overweight. Why not take care of it now. Alexis is going to be 11 and man she's been going strong! The first day she was getting to my nerves...talking about "oh we won't be able to eat this and that..bla bla" so I said ENOUGH! She was really good until today, she had a piece of wheat toast with her breakfast but she's young and I read how she's allowed more foods into her diet. It's not going to be an everyday thing or even two servings of bread per day. She is only 11 but weights what a 17 year old weighs. Too much..
Anyway the problem child at the moment is my husband. He's NEVER EVER eaten healthy and he claims to have super bad stomach cramps and pains. I told him I don't know HOW healthy food can have this affect on you and he's like "I dunno". Everyday I bust my butt to make good breakfasts, lunches and dinners and when I ask them "how was it" Alexis always loves it (that girl is hungry all the time and easy to please) him, not so much. I am getting REALLY frustrated with him. I dunno what else to do. Just let him eat what he wants? I think I am at the point where I am ready to do that...It's wearing me down....like the whole dissapointment on his part you know? I have worked SO SO SO SO SO hard on planning this whole thing. Every spare minute that I have I spend researching articles that would be helpful to us, reading up on childhood obesity and looking up recipes for me to make. I cleaned out our cabinets got rid of everything that has corn syrup and sugar in them and yesterday I cleaned out the refrigerator (I lagged on cleaning fridge a bit). There are still some things that I have but they are for Alani that I'm allowing her to have sometimes like strawberry syrup in her milk, ramen noodle soup so she can eat on her picky eating day which she has sometimes..grocery shopping like crazy at like 50 different stores because they all carry one healthy product I am looking for but not another. Madness. Anyway today my mood is weird. I felt discourange and sad a little bit cause of my husband but then again he's not AS BAD as I thought he would be. Not sure what to expect/think/get over. I will have a talk with him today and let him decide. Till later..God bless.
Just know when I avoid posting, I'm still shoving my face with food that I should not be eating. I am so feeling it. More so than the last time I posted. You would of thought that me weighing myself would've left me in utter shock but it didn't. Instead I was like "OH it's not AS BAD as I thought". Such a sicko...ok but now my friends, my stomach is super fat. My fat clothes are getting "filled in". When I sit I have serious back fat. I look so disgusting right now it's not even funny.
The most progress I have made is taking the yellow tail tuna that my husband brought back from his fishing trip out of the freezer. That was yesterday. Instead of baking the tuna though you know what I did? I made these cookies by Paula Deen - Oatmeal coconut chocolate cookies. I brought them to work though so they would eat them. I can't afford to eat many of these. I can't afford to eat anything fattening that's for sure. I think working from home has done this to me. I just snack here and there and it's killing me!
I feel incredibly guilty too for the way I have been feeding the family. I've been baking like a mad woman and feeding them lots of mexican soul food. Yesterday Alexis threw on dress I bought her back in December and it's tight. She didn't think so but I could tell she's gaining weight and it's my fault. :-(
I've been letting Alani snack on junk food too much too. I tried to cut up and apple the other day and give it to her instead of giving her a snack zip lock bag of chips or some other fried something-or-other and she refused the apple!! She LOVES fruit and veggies. So that was like a slap in the face saying "See looks what you are doing"!!! So it is with not so great pleasure that I put together a healthy eating and excercise for the family TODAY! We are going camping from Sunday to Tuesday and I was just thinking well it won't be the healthiest of eating....but WHY NOT!? Why not take fruit and veggies to snack on. Why would I need to take chips and cookies instead? I've brainwashed myself quite a bit and it's very irritating.
Today I start my meds again and my water drinking like crazy to help with my non-stop hunger/cravings. It's B A D right now for me. I know that Sergio can tell too. He knows how disappointed in myself too. He can see I am not happy. I have SO many cute clothes and I can't fit into ANY of them right now.
Ok well no more whining it's seriously time for action. So I will need to put together a menu, snacks included. I was going to say snacks and drinks included but I am going to aim to WATER. I am going to encourage water drinking to all in my family including Alani. I will buy SOME diet drinks though when we have our meals.
Anyhoo, if you got through this rambling post, congrats. God bless!
is just flying by.....Some people worry about making their mark here on earth. Like they want to be remembered by something they did. I don't think I care much about that or do I? So many thing I think about daily. So many people I want to help and I wish I had the money to help so many needy people. So many girls without mothers looking for motherly love and so many boys that need fathers where I wish my husband had the time to be a father to them. Why do I think about this stuff so much? Is this what makes me stress out? Not really sure, wondering where all this is coming from? Me too.
I feel like fed up today. I have been feeling like that lately....fed up about how fat I am. I am just waiting for someone to ask me how many months pregnant I am. I feel THAT fat and I am sure I look that fat.I know that if I was to look at a picture of myself right now I would be like "I had NO idea it was THAT bad"!! But I really do...but then I talk myself into thinking "I'm not that fat"...anyway...enough. And I obvioiusly have had enought. My size 16 clothes? Tight. Very tight. In fact the very few size 18 clothes that I had stuffed in the back of my closet and drawers have suddenly made an appearance and have been getting washed over and over again...I looked at myself in the mirror and just knew I had to get serious. The good thing is this is where I draw the line and I know I won't myself get bigger than an 18. Because I am tall I can play the size 16 off but the 18/20...Not so much. I am heading to costco today at lunch to buy salmon. I am doing the salad/salmon lunch and dinner to clean out my system and LOTS and LOTS of water. I did get some diet cherry 7-up so I eat with my meals though so that will be a treat. I also need to run out and get some protein bars so I don't binge eat...cause I go through some serious withdrawals when I stop the junk eating.
All in all....I am happy about this...happy that I am finally at the point where I am putting a stop to it. The next few days I expect to be a bit depressed as it does happen...but I need to remember that it's temporary. Crazy how food has this affect on people. Scary. Well I will be back this week to chat about other things like The Lord our God, my beautiful kids and husband which I adore. :-) God bless!
I want to work out. I really do. I don't want to keep eating junk. I really don't. I felt like crud most of the time. Did you know that I have even thought that I am depressed and need to get on depression medication. I am so up and down and I don't know why. I don't know why I feel sad when I'm sad and I have read and heard that this is called depression. BUT these past couple of weeks at church, it's so weird, ALL of the preachers have talked about how everyone runs to depression medications when they are feeling down. How we have all of our kids on meds at the first sign of trouble. So I am resisting and I believe that my "down" times are related to me eating junk. I truly do think that foods with all those hormones, sugar and who knows what else can cause instability to ones mind. So I am going to the gym for the very first time in like 2 months tomorrow morning. I am going to clean out my system by doing my protein days and fighting HARD to do Lindora. Once I am on it I talk myself out of WHY I should NOT do it........so I am going to try and pray. A LOT. If you pray, pray for me (yes again).
Work sucks at the moment. Management. I have to get a note from my Dr. in order for them to approve my 3 days working at home. My Dr. read the questions they typed up for him and he said "why are they asking this? It's none of their business". I said I know but I need you to help me with this letter or I will have to continue this commute until I get another job closer to home. Then I find out yesterday that we are moving buildings. They could not renew the lease or something. Very weird...but Ok maybe it will be closer to my house. Doubt it though. Seriously. They have mapped out where everyone lives and will "try" to reduce commute times for everyone. We will know by middle of next month (where we will be moving to) and move by Mid January 2008. Hm...things are interesting and weird around here. Anyway, I have to get to work cause I have been really busy this week. Till later, God Bless.
"to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to keep His commandments, to hold fast to Him, and to serve Him with all of your heart and will all of your soul"
Joshua 22:5
So much happens in my life on a daily basis that it's hard not to feel overwhelmed. I think this is why I get depressed sometimes. I feel like life is just passing me by and I am in a constant state of confusion and desperation. When I asked my bosses to let me work from home I didn't think it would really be THAT much of a big deal. I've done it before with great success so what's the big deal eh? Well it just so happens to be I have 2 new bosses and one of them has tons of employees under her and she really doesn't give a darn how much of a good job I do here or how long I've been here. Anywho...they approved my work from home 3 days a week....for now...basically on a trial basis AND only because I have a medical excuse. My blood pressure is sorta out of control right now (I wonder why) and I need to take more meds. I can't drive too well under the influence of these blood control medications so....there you have it. We'll see how long they'll let me do this for. Once they say "no more" then I will need to look into another job. I can't afford the gas for a 120+ mile commute anymore.
What else? Lots of thinks but I think I will leave it unspoken for now. I just pray that the Lord helps me through these difficult times. Seems like I am always going through difficult times. But they aren't really ya know? Not compared to others that are REALLY going through a tough time. I hate that I can't look at their situations right now and think how blessed I really am. I'm just going to keep looking to the Lord for help in everything.
Isaiah 55:11
So is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it
Long time no post. I will get right to it since I have tons of work.
Ok so I have been anxious about work for a few days. I submitted a proposal for the bosses to work from home and I have not heard back. It's been over a week. I have another job opportunity to work from home 5 days a week but the pay I believe is a bit lower, not so much vacation time & other misc. perks I enjoy here. I need to put the pressure on them to give me a responce as I don't want to loose out on the other job. Pray for me please! I really want to stay working for this company and I HATE change (when it comes to jobs). But yesterday as I felt myself starting to stress about it I asked God to take the burden from my heart and I let it be. Whatever the outcome is I will deal with it accordingly.
Second thing, I just returned from a 3 ladies conference. There were hundreds of ladies there and although I had some good fellowship time with some other ladies I actually went to listen to the advice from the lady speakers. The spritual advice was overwhelming to the point that when I think about it, it makes me want to cry. It touched me THAT much, the messages hit the spot. Just wonderful Godly advice. God is so good to us and I just love Him & praise Him to pieces for that. In a nutshell, I learned to be a better Mom and Wife because of this conference and I know that I have to love the Lord with all my might and He will come through for me. He's promised that to us.
Let's see what else. I have been eating much better. I haven't weighed myself but I am not craving junk as much. I feel like a happier me even though I do have "downtimes" in my attitude, I recognize this and am taking a "time-out" so I don't make brash decisions in my eating and in my attitude towards everyone.
Gosh I just think I have too many things to say and can't get it out without typing a book but I need to work so I will come back here throughout the week and share my life away. God Bless.
I Chronicles 16:34-36
34 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
35 Cry out, “Save us, O God of our salvation!
Gather and rescue us from among the nations,
so we can thank your holy name and rejoice and praise you.”
36 Praise the Lord, the God of Israel,
who lives from everlasting to everlasting!
And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.
Well I am totally lacking motivation but have been trying to come up with a serious plan since yesterday. I am once again reminding myself that I need to stop thinking about loosing weight for vanity reasons but to do it for health reasons! Sometimes I convince myself that I look "alright" fat and that I am ok to stay this way. BUT I fail to remind myself of my high blood pressure due to fatness. I am sure I am borderline diabetic at times because of.......yes you guessed it...my royal fatness. You know I always think that if I get this or that that just THEN will I be "able" to continue with my weight loss. The problem is it never happens. First my thoughts where "WHEN I get on my PCOS meds I will regulate my insulin levels and the weight will start to easily melt off". Although the meds DO help with weight loss, I am not taking them religiously. I often fail to take my blood pressure meds even when I FEEL my blood pressure boiling. Yep, that is VERY bad. And now my new thing is WHEN I get Meridia prescribed to help with the hunger issues I will THEN loose weight. I need to stop depending on stuff to move forward. So I am kicking myself in the rear and making myself take care of myself. Being skinny and cute is just going to have to be considered a perk. You know I am getting older and older and by eating like crap I am setting myself up to be sickly when I am older. I am in a sense beating up my heart, messing with my liver and kidney functions by being so up and down with my weight. I need to stop thinking that I am going to be young forever.
I got my Food Saver a while back (vaccum packs foods to last longer) and so this weekened I AM going to Costco to buy chicken, fish and beef in bulk and making many of meals to stick in the freezer to make it convenient for me to just grab and run.
What else is going on? Besides me being totally tired I am putting together a proposal to ask my bosses to let me work from home. I actually LIKE coming in to work but the gas is getting ridiculous and it's severly dipping into my bills budget. The gas is $3.28 a gallon in Long Beach and it use to cost me $38 to fill up and now I am spending $49.00 to fill up and I need 3 entire fill ups during the week to drive to and from work which = $150 a WEEK which is actually closer to $600! I actually thought it was around $450 but now that this past week gas prices have skyrocketed I am spending WAY too much. Not to mention the wear and tear on my car. So I think I am going to first talk to my immediate boss and try and build a case with her and go from there. I would say wish me luck but there is no such thing as LUCK, so PRAY for me please!!
Jeremiah 29:11-1311 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.
Yeah what is up with the weight loss? My husband took me out on a date last night and was like "what's up with you working out and eating better"? He didn't ask that because he wants me to get skinny, he asked me that because he can tell that something is up with me. I am so much happier when I feel good about myself and right now I don't so am not planning my meals and I am not working out. It's got a little bit to do with me being fed up with having to squeeze EVERYTHING in. Everytime I do that something suffers at the expense of whatever I squeezed in. I guess I can say I got sick and tired of doing that. That and also being exausted. I told him that I am building myself up with the Lord's help and I am feeling much better. I just need to realize that life is not easy and throwing a "tantrum" is only going to make things worse. So this week.....I am building. Reading my bible and studying.
This paycheck should be nice with my raise in it and I worked a few hours of overtime so I am going to splurge on lots of yummy foods for myself (healthy of course). Saturday I plan on cooking my buttocks off so my first week of being back at the gym is not so stressfull. I also have to go to the chiropracter twice a week so on those days I will not be going to the gym. I rather not go then stress myself out and stop working out all together.
Alexis is sick - has a fever and all. I got up at midnight and did not see her in bed so I went to the living room and there she was. Groaning in her sleep....like a "I don't feel so good". I touched her forehead and cheeks and she was burning up. I am sure she will be staying home from school today and I am sure that tonight I will be staying home from church so the kiddos can get better. No sense in dragging them out of the house. I want Sergio to shave Gabriel's hair tonight. I will take a pic and post it tomorrow. Alright well I am guessing that is it for now. God Bless.
Psalm 6:1-4
1 O Lord, do not speak sharp words to me in Your anger, or punish me when You are angry.
2 Be kind to me, O Lord, for I am weak. O Lord, heal me for my bones are shaken.
3 My soul is in great suffering. But You, O Lord, how long?
4 Return, O Lord. Set my soul free. Save me because of Your loving-kindness.
I am back to being really up and down with my moods. Total mood swings and I HATE it. I feel like such a downer which makes me not want to come on here and talk about it. But then I convince myself to TALK.....Talk to myself at least. Get my feelings out in writting. I am thinking I am like this because of stress. There has been SO many changes in the past 2 weeks! I hate change....good change I like, bad change I cringe at. New boss is starting today and let's just say I know her well and I cannot believe for the life of me that they hired her to be a manager. The #1 reason people leave this place is because of bad management. This person KNOWS how to manipulate people in a way that is totally disgusting. I know her pretty well and knowing all this about her gives me the creeps. This job that she got now, let's just say she fought hard for in a really bad way and has lost her closest friends and is not regreting it at all. I am not one of those friends thank goodness! I saw her in action a few years ago and knew that I had to stay away. Other people didn't listen to me and now feel like she stabbed them in the back with an ax several times.
Anyhow, I worked from home on Friday and it was so nice! When my boss said goodbye on Thursday she walked me out, told me not to be afraid to ask management to allow me to work from home because they would approve it. So in about 1 month when my new "boss" get settled in I am going in for the kill. Gas is seriously crazy high and now that my hubby is not working (for several weeks) it's going to start making a dent in my wallet.
Today I have a Dr's appointment at 1:30 which means I have to leave work early. Then I have a massage sceduled for 4pm. I was going to try and make it to the gym but I guess it all depends on how everything goes.
Well I have not weighed myself which is never good. Wondering when I am going to get my act together again and get to it already.
The RU program starts on Friday and I am feeling the pressure. I felt like my helper took over at this Friday's meeting. She's a really good Cristian but she talks A LOT and so I need to have a talk with her about sticking to the schedule and staying in her role as my helper. I think she thinks she is the leader of the group or something and I just kinda feel bad about having to "reprimand" her about it. You see I have a group of ladies in what is called our "2nd talk" where each of them can open up since we are in smaller groups. I start with opening in prayer & move on with checking everyones booklets. I give them points which are for future awards and I challenge them to memorize scripture to help them during the week. Anyway, in 40 minutes I have to do that AND get around to each lady and ask what problems they encountered this past week and encourage them and give them godly advice. One lady is going through a REALLY REALLY hard time and while we have to be compassionate, some people will want to tell you their life story and use up all 40 minutes. I knew we had to move on to the next lady but my helper kept egging this lady on and by this time she had used up most of the time. I should of taken control of my group and in the end, I didn't get to 2 ladies and one of them was crying (I noticed this as we were getting up to join all the other groups again) and I was upset at myself because I went in the with no confidence and was totally unprepared. All my stuff was messy and disorganized and I had hardly studied during the week. This is so not me! So I got myself together on Saturday but I still need to have a serious talk with Jane about her sticking to her duties of a helper and letting me stick to my leader's schedule. I might call her during the week and ask her to go out with me for coffee so we can discuss a plan of attack. She gave me a really nice card telling me how happy she was that we were working together to help those that are lost.
My husband bought me the cutest leather cover bible this weekend with my name engraved in the front of it. I love it!!! Now I can write all over it if I feel like it. He doesn't like to write in bibles (not sure why)....so I already highlighted, underlined and wrote all over mine :-)
Alright well that's all my boring life things. Till later. God bless.
I haven't really felt like typing out the drama's in my life lately. laziness.....or maybe there just has been too muc of it. Not in my family life....like marriage but everywhere else it seems like. Work and accident stuff. Ugh...but it will all work out in the end.
I went to the chiropracter for the first time since my accident and boy did I need it. I didn't realize how tense I was. I slept like a baby last night and didn't want to get up this morning. It was such instant relief and I was in the bestest of moods after I walked out of there. I felt like I was floating!! Anyway, I have been in a rotten mood lately which is another reason I have not typed out my rants on here. I would of talked about people in a way that I should not be. I kept reminding myself that I was a Christian and I was going to get through my anger issues and I did. I just need to accept some of the things that happen that are out of my control. You know why stress on things that I cannot change. We are human and it happens but sometimes we can make things worse.
My eating habits have sucked of late. Not awful but I have snuck in some junk. I have not been to the gym since my accident either but I am planning on getting back on track on Saturday. I am going to go for a nice workout and for a swim in the heated pool.
I guess that's pretty much it, my boss's last day is today and she is going to work for a new company and working from home. I am thinking about joining her there. I would work from home and get paid more. Hmm...not much to think about heh? Except I am comfortable where I am And just got a raise but I am not sure that the commute is paying off as gas is so expensive right now. We will see what the other job has to offer. Well that's it for now. God bless.
Not the eating but work. First let me start by writing really quick about the accident I got into on Monday. Not my fault (2nd time I got into an accident and it has not been my fault)and it was an off duty cop that hit me. I hate this because even though I was not at fault and I was rear ended pretty hard and we do have some injuries the insurance company started by offering me $150. LOL. WHAT? They so suck. So today at some point I am supposed to send them an e-mail with me request. I want to go to a chiropracter for 3 months and the cost of this PER person is $2200 with some follow up appointment in between. So why did they offer me $150 for treatment for 3 people? Because they take advantage of people. I am not getting a lawyer YET but if they decide they want to mess with me I will. So anyway....the other bad news is my boss is quitting and NOBODY KNOWS so Florence if you read this SHHHHH the person that "leaked" this info is the only one that knows so if it got around she would be fired. Anyway this girl that is the most ANNOYING person EVER that HATES working here and even quit for a week to work somewhere else was given preference to interview for her job and is DEMANDING almost 6 figures for her position. WHAT!? Ok my boss compliments me on a daily basis on the GREAT WONDERFUL FANTASTIC work that I do here and I am not even given an opportunity to interview. I am so "upset". Ok I am being bitter and I am praying about it. I just needed to vent. Supposedly I was being considered for a promotion but I have not heard a peep about this promotion since it was mentioned. I am thinking I am going to have to transfer to another department OR just get a job closer to home.
Another thing I was considering, since my boss is leaving and all, ask her about me working from home. Maybe she will approve it before she leaves and all will be well. But it's more like a "yeah right" but let me give it a shot anyway. I will do this today and see how it goes. Pray for me if there is anyone out there that reads my blog and actually believes that prayer does work. If the favor does not sway my way, then I know it is nto God's will and I will need to accept it and do what I have to do. God bless.
This is a side view of my church. It's going to look much different soon!
Well day 28 of 28 was yesterday and I guess you can say I went out with a bang. I got down to 227.8 but I am sure I gained a bit over the weekend. I had like 3 cookies on Saturday...just because they were there. We were at the RU training and I just felt like being a pig even though I wasn't hungry. So here I am today and my stomach is trippen. Making weird noises it hasn't made in a while. Hopefully I will be able to get it back to normal after my.....I don't want to say it....3 protein days. Ugh. I dred these days but after I am done (as hard as they are) I feel better. I don't feel very hungry during the day, it's the evening that I find difficult.
So it looks like I am going to HAVE to work out less at the gym. I just CANNOT afford the time that I am spending there. I am letting other things go in order to be there 2 hours a day and it's not paying off well. I took Friday off work just to get house things done like grocery shopping, washing my car, paying bills & spend time with Alexis before she went back to school...and more!! So I am going to start doing the Body For Life WORKOUTS, not the diet but the workouts because they are intensive and require about an hour on days where you work out with weights and 20 minutes on Cardio Days. The cardio is super intensive though and I am for sure going to use the stairmaster for this workout. Well I will change it up but that stairmaster kicks my butt. I also want to buy some sort of protein powder drink. I think Costco carries a good one that's only like $15. These will work perfect on my protein days as sometimes I just feel like drinking something and not having to actually eat meat as protein will be nice. So I might run over to Costco on my lunch to get a bag. I need to make sure the nutritional info on the label is....well...nutritious.
RU went well again on Friday night. I heard A LOT of preaching about the importance of Soul Winning. As a leader in the RU ministry, I have to go back to Soul Winning. I know the Lord wants me to and it's not a good example if I don't. I can't use my work as an excuse anymore. The Lord will help me get up and get through my days. I just have to start trusting in Him again when it comes to this. So now it looks like we will be at church Wed as well.
The good thing is our kids have all their friends there. Alexis goes to school there and can't wait to meet up with her friends. She works in the nursery too which is good. Alani is in the nursery and all her little friends are in there too. She knows the routine. She likes to take her own purse which is the funniest thing. I need to take a picture of us leaving for church. I have a beautiful family and I thank God to the fullest. God bless.
I woke up in a VERY bad mood then the mood got worst when I got on the scale. A 1 pound gain. WHAT?!?? Stupid scale. Oh well I just have to keep on moving along. What else can I do. I can't explain the gain so I am not going to worry much about it.
Last night Serg went to the gym with me! His mom was in town and Alexis left with her to visit some relatives. I called the gym and made arrangements for the babysitting dept. to watch Alani and Gabriel but I ended up leaving Alani with my 13 year old neice Angie. So we worked out and it was nice to have him there so he can see what I do when I leave the house. Hard work to loose this weight.
Not much else going on. I think I might take the day off tomorrow. I have so many things to do and I am so tired that I think I might just do that (if my boss is cool with it of course). God bless.
I LOVE this Anna Scholz top....it's only $115 (i said that sarcastically)... ....& what about that red dress....I love it..$149 for ya!
I am not sure what get's me into a funk. Could be my actual mood or just that I am plain tired. It's hard to tell getting up at 3am every morning. I mean I guess for anyone having to get up that early will be moody AND tired right? Well I can never tell what kind of day I am going to have until at least 2-3 hours after I get to work. Sometimes I do just wake up nice and chipper but those days are few and far apart.
Taking Alexis to the gym yesterday kinda sucked because she has to be 13 to be able to use the workout machines. I need to talk to the trainer upstairs to see if they will allow her to workout as she LOOKS like a 13 year old and is very mature for her age. I might need to get a Dr's note that shows it's ok for her to work out. We will see. Anyway she can use the pool everyday if she wants and I talked to the swimming supervisor and he will allow her to wear her culotts which are like shorts but looks like a skirt. I would just let her wear a bathing suit but her school prohibts them from doing that (that AND wearing pants) but some of the ladies from my church take their boys swimming there and they go to her school so that's a total no no. Some people don't understand this whole Baptist thing where the women wear only skirts thing. I mean I don't like it because I love to wear nice jeans but I "get" why it's important. It does have to do with a woman looking modest. I mean especially now, the way jeans are made. A woman likes to show off her curves right? But the thinking here is "show your own husband your curves and not everyone else's husband". It's harder for the men to concentrate on preaching and hearing the Word of God when some girl at church is wearing these tight jeans showing her thong or her butt crack to you. KWIM? So yeah...this topic can be controvercial of course but in my case there is really no room for debate because I LOVE my church, Alexis loves the school and so the skirt wearing continues (seems like I am having my own debate in my head).
I woke up with a nasty headache today. I treated myself to a piece of wheat toast with my fake butter (forgot the name of it). Bread never tasted so good :-) Had my coffee but yet I still feel crappy. I was tempted to go to my car and take a little nap for an hour. I might still do that and when lunch rolls around I will work through my lunch so not to cheat my work. We'll see about that. Too lazy to get up right now....Serg is staying home today because it's raining and he can't work in the rain. I almost stayed home but I need to save my vacation days so here I am.
Alright well....I guess I am going to get back to work. God Bless.
