Life....

is just flying by.....Some people worry about making their mark here on earth. Like they want to be remembered by something they did. I don't think I care much about that or do I? So many thing I think about daily. So many people I want to help and I wish I had the money to help so many needy people. So many girls without mothers looking for motherly love and so many boys that need fathers where I wish my husband had the time to be a father to them. Why do I think about this stuff so much? Is this what makes me stress out? Not really sure, wondering where all this is coming from? Me too.

I feel like fed up today. I have been feeling like that lately....fed up about how fat I am. I am just waiting for someone to ask me how many months pregnant I am. I feel THAT fat and I am sure I look that fat.I know that if I was to look at a picture of myself right now I would be like "I had NO idea it was THAT bad"!! But I really do...but then I talk myself into thinking "I'm not that fat"...anyway...enough. And I obvioiusly have had enought. My size 16 clothes? Tight. Very tight. In fact the very few size 18 clothes that I had stuffed in the back of my closet and drawers have suddenly made an appearance and have been getting washed over and over again...I looked at myself in the mirror and just knew I had to get serious. The good thing is this is where I draw the line and I know I won't myself get bigger than an 18. Because I am tall I can play the size 16 off but the 18/20...Not so much. I am heading to costco today at lunch to buy salmon. I am doing the salad/salmon lunch and dinner to clean out my system and LOTS and LOTS of water. I did get some diet cherry 7-up so I eat with my meals though so that will be a treat. I also need to run out and get some protein bars so I don't binge eat...cause I go through some serious withdrawals when I stop the junk eating.

All in all....I am happy about this...happy that I am finally at the point where I am putting a stop to it. The next few days I expect to be a bit depressed as it does happen...but I need to remember that it's temporary. Crazy how food has this affect on people. Scary. Well I will be back this week to chat about other things like The Lord our God, my beautiful kids and husband which I adore. :-) God bless!