Nothing new...

Well I am totally lacking motivation but have been trying to come up with a serious plan since yesterday. I am once again reminding myself that I need to stop thinking about loosing weight for vanity reasons but to do it for health reasons! Sometimes I convince myself that I look "alright" fat and that I am ok to stay this way. BUT I fail to remind myself of my high blood pressure due to fatness. I am sure I am borderline diabetic at times because of.......yes you guessed it...my royal fatness. You know I always think that if I get this or that that just THEN will I be "able" to continue with my weight loss. The problem is it never happens. First my thoughts where "WHEN I get on my PCOS meds I will regulate my insulin levels and the weight will start to easily melt off". Although the meds DO help with weight loss, I am not taking them religiously. I often fail to take my blood pressure meds even when I FEEL my blood pressure boiling. Yep, that is VERY bad. And now my new thing is WHEN I get Meridia prescribed to help with the hunger issues I will THEN loose weight. I need to stop depending on stuff to move forward. So I am kicking myself in the rear and making myself take care of myself. Being skinny and cute is just going to have to be considered a perk. You know I am getting older and older and by eating like crap I am setting myself up to be sickly when I am older. I am in a sense beating up my heart, messing with my liver and kidney functions by being so up and down with my weight. I need to stop thinking that I am going to be young forever.

I got my Food Saver a while back (vaccum packs foods to last longer) and so this weekened I AM going to Costco to buy chicken, fish and beef in bulk and making many of meals to stick in the freezer to make it convenient for me to just grab and run.

What else is going on? Besides me being totally tired I am putting together a proposal to ask my bosses to let me work from home. I actually LIKE coming in to work but the gas is getting ridiculous and it's severly dipping into my bills budget. The gas is $3.28 a gallon in Long Beach and it use to cost me $38 to fill up and now I am spending $49.00 to fill up and I need 3 entire fill ups during the week to drive to and from work which = $150 a WEEK which is actually closer to $600! I actually thought it was around $450 but now that this past week gas prices have skyrocketed I am spending WAY too much. Not to mention the wear and tear on my car. So I think I am going to first talk to my immediate boss and try and build a case with her and go from there. I would say wish me luck but there is no such thing as LUCK, so PRAY for me please!!

Jeremiah 29:11-1311 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.