Day 1 of 86

Did I already say that it really helps when you think "one day at a time". I guess that's why I've been posting "Day 1 of ....". I had a great strictly shakes only day yesterday and I felt SOOO good. I HAD to keep making myself drink them every two hours though because I didn't feel hungry so my brain automatically thinks "Don't drink a shake if you're not hungry cause ya know...that will save you calories". I had to push (ok...shove) those thoughts aside and drink my shakes. I ended up facing the scales after all. I had not had anything to drink yet so I thought "Why not just do it, face the reality already"!! So I got on the scales and I was up to 237.8...basically a .4 pound gain. I was surprised but thought, hmm...my cheat with pizza will certainly catch up to me by Tuesday even Wednesday(yeah I had pizza....it's my weakness and I'm suprised I didn't shove pizza down my throat sooner than this). Totally ALL God. This morning I was curious to see if I would see like 250 pounds on the scale but I lost .4 more pounds. I broke new ground and I'm down to 237 on the dot!! The scary scary thing is my BMI is up to 47% (from 46%). I guess I'll actually have to work out to get that # to go down.

My "excuse" for not working out was that I had to go see Lillian at the hospital. She had bybass surgery yesterday (after her heart attack from a week or so ago). I went to see her Sunday and took her the T.V. Guide she asked me to bring. She told me her surgery was scheduled for noon and would take 4 to 5 hours. I agreed to come check on her at around 6:30pm the next day to make sure the surgery went well but when I showed up to her room she was completely sedated and had a breathing tube in. I immediately though something went wrong when I saw this and all the machines around her. The nurse in her room hit me with a barrage of questions when I walked in and put her guard down when I told her I was from her church. She started to then tell me that the surgery went very well but that she was going to remain sedated for 2 days. I felt so bad because Lillian is just a crazy lady (in a good way), she thought she was going to come out of this surgery and kick it and watch TV (thus her request for the TV Guide). Little did she know, this was a major surgery. I was even going to bring her a coffee!! She made me feel THAT at ease about this surgery of hers. I called our RU director and gave him an update so he could pass it on to Pastor which has been visiting her with his wife a couple of times a week. I told them they probably should not come until Wednesday at the earliest and that I would keep checking on her and keep them posted.

I could NOT get to sleep last night for some reason. My mind was just going and going. I finally made myself count sheep (I kid you not, I was desperate)...I kept waking up though so I'm probably running on like 2 hours of sleep right now IF that.

On the way to work today I listened to one of the sessions that I attended at the ladies conference and I am SOOO glad I bought the CD. I needed to hear some of the teachings from this pastors wife. It was about honoring your husband. One of the things that husbands seek from their wives is honor. I've been a brat to my husband these past few days and I don't really like that. I'm going to try and find a way to post that message on here so you guys can have a listen. I am telling you, this message is EXCELLENT for the wife and mom in us.

I'm at work today and have millions of things to get done today so I will chat later. God Bless.