Day 1 of 94

I'm baaaack! And so very tired. The conference was great, best conference I have been to by far. I didn't miss any of the sessions because I didn't have a baby with me like last year so it wasn't as stressful. This year I only got about 5 hours of sleep in 2 days! The last session it hit me hard and I was trying to stay awake. Luckily it was the last session and it was the pastor's closing remarks which I'm sure had a great message but I was done with. I had to drive home (yikes) so we stopped and got a red bull. I've never really liked them but it was really good this time around and it worked! I drove home and had to deal with Lauren. She had a horrible attitude out there and it got to the point that I kicked her out of our room. I wasn't going to deal with her anymore. I'm not giving her a ride to school or church. I'm finally making her dad be responsible for her. I'm SO done. I did what God asked me to do with her which is try to help her grow in the Lord and try to be a stable parent for her but she does not want that. She wanted to run amuck at the hotel with some girls because their chaperone was asleep and I wasn't having that and she didn't like it so she walked away from me. When she did that it was like I saw very clearly what needed to be done. Her mom taught her NEVER to admit even when she was wrong (her mom is a drug addict to this day and refuses to see or talk to her) and we've tried over the past 2 years to get her to get close to God, nurture her and just be there for her but she refuses to get out of that mentality. She doesn't want the help. She wants a mom with benefits is what I told my husband. I need to give those benefits to my kids. They don't even get them 100% from me. One of the sessions at the conference was about nurturing your kids, enjoying the time with them, giving them eye contact. All the other stuff takes the back seat (except my husband of course). It all just came together and I'm 100% sure that I've made the right decision.

Drama! LOL...despite this I am refreshed and I finally got a little bit of sleep. I'm letting Alexis stay home from school today because she needs to catch up with her sleep too. She is SOOO tired. My husband went on a fishing trip with some of the guys from church. Just for today. I'm going to try and get my house nice and clean and sleep some more!

Weight wise. I didn't weight myself this morning but I did show a 1 pound gain yesterday. I ate as good as possible but there was one time that I had to totally cheat (I wasn't prepared with my shakes). I got SOOOO sick to my stomach though. It was like I had some sort of stomach virus for 24 hours. So I will weigh in tomorrow. I worked out at the hotel though! First time I've ever said I was going to work out and did! Anyway, I am so behind on e-mails from being out so I've got to go. Till later. God bless.