My before pic...shocking!! or is it?

I have been wanting to post the pictures of what I look like NOW but it's too much for me to handle. I took a photo sideways and also of my front view and it's not a pretty thing. I can't believe I am that fat. So I went to create my virtual model - I created one on how I look now and then what I will look like when I hit my goal weight. I kept thinking my BEFORE model looked too fat and I kept trying to make her more skinny. Ok I AM FAT. I cannot make the virtual model skinnier if I am not. I know I have a little bit of an advantage because I am 5'10 so I always think I look thinner, but really, I don't. Anyway. I have no idea how to post this pic on my sidebar. I am not really HTML and all that savy. So I am just going to post it on this post for now. I would like to look at it all the time to remind me of what I used to look like.

Yesterday I was looking at my body in the mirror and I can't believe how fat my stomach is and I hope that I don't have a lot of loose skin afterwards. I have never had loose skin with my past weight loss but that was BEFORE I had kids. Who knows what it's going to look like after weight loss AND 3 kids later with my first being a c-section. I told my husband that most likely I would need a tummy tuck to get rid of that disgusting c-section tummy. I don't think that it will go away completely. I have heard many of girls (skinny and all) talk about that c-section tummy that will not go away. So maybe I will have 5K laying around to fork out for a tummy tuck after my weight loss. While I am at it I might as well tell them to build me a nice buttocks and remove the fat between my thighs. Ewww...you know that fat that makes your legs rub together? I hate it. Funny cause in my family I am the tallest girl, the only one with DD boobs, freckles, fat thighs and definitely more outgoing or talkative than my other siblings. I am the black sheep of the Fam-Bam.

I did not go to church last night because I really did not feel like getting everyone sick. Plus my husband gave me this horrified look when I had a cough attack and could not stop coughing until I drank water. He was like "You're staying home". I had planned on it. My poor Gabriel was sleeping anyway and I didn't want to wake him up. He had been totally fussy all day. His butt burns I think, it looks like it stings. I am going to have to call the Dr. today so they can give him some medicated rash ointment cause we are putting all this stuff on there and it only helps while it stays on. His diarrhea is a little better with the expensive formula but it's not entirely 100%. I am going to try and find out the results of his lab work. I almost wish it was a bacterial thing so they get him on meds and make him better already!!

Well at least today is Friday! I am SO looking forward to sleeping in this weekend. This getting up at 3:30am has me tired as heck. Well that's it for now. I need to go into Fitday and write down my food plan of attack for the day. I actually brought a sasndwich for lunch!!! God bless.