So today I am finally 38 weeks. I have a Dr's appointment on Thursday and he is going to strip my membranes. I got about 2 hours of sleep last night - totally in like 20 minute incraments of course. Contractions kept waking me up and for a quick second, I thought "maybe this is it". I told myself, well if it's the real deal I will know cause "real" contractions hurt like nobody's business and I WILL KNOW. Anyway, I actually had a bit of a breakdown yesterday. I was feeling a little extra crappy, so I jumped in the shower to relax, then decided I was going to make myself take a nap. Naps always help right? Well they seem to make me wake up in a worst mood at times (most of the time). It was warmer than usual yesterday and I can feel my body super hot on my bed, but it takes me like 5 minutes and a lot of pain later to flip over to my left or right, so I finally did, and I felt a bad headache coming on and I thought great!! My hubby was doing laundry this whole time but I am not sure how long I was actually asleep. Anyway, I woke up, went to the bathroom and just started to cry! I could not help it. I knew it was NOT going to help me have this baby, but I just feel so miserable. I needed to just let it out.
So I come out of my room and go to the kitchen and my hubby comes in from the laundry room and he looks at me and instantly knows something is wrong. He gives me a hug and I can't hold back my tears. He SEES how miserable I am. I mean, the itching is BAD, my carpel tunnel is now pretty bad in both hands, I get contractions all day long with nothing to show for, I can't get comfortable ANYWHERE, I can't walk, I can't sleep. It's bad and he knows it. I tell him I am sorry and that I don't mean to be a crybaby but it's all too much for me right now.
I was praying hard, "God please the birth of this baby is up to you, it IS your will, but please let your will be SOON!!!!". Okay enough. My babysitter is getting induced tonight, or tomorrow I should say cause she goes in at midnight tonight. Her original due date was 9/24. I wish my Dr. would just induce me on Friday already. Darn it. So her daughter will most likely be born on 9/19. Lucky her! She has an end is sight. I bet she's gonna have a GREAT DAY TODAY!! I would be happy as a clam if I was her. Fun to know that today is the last day you can tiddy up and prepare as much as possible to get ready to have a baby. Sigh. My time is coming soon. The most I will be pregnant is 1 1/2 more weeks which makes that 9 days. That's not long to a regular non pregnant person that prances around like nothing. I will be that person SOON ENOUGH!
Ok I am officially a little looney. Maybe this experience will get me going on my weight loss once I have the baby. I will have control over my body again after almost a YEAR!!!! Can you believe that....a whole year of carrying something in your belly and being an emotional fricken wreck. Wowzers...well I will stop...God Bless.
I dunno why it won't add the photo to my post from yesterday. Trying again now...
Man I was just looking at my picture for this blog and my face looks so thin. Can't wait to start my weight loss again. Sigh...soon..but as always not soon enough. I added the photo above which was a photo from 36 weeks 3 days. 1 week ago and seriosly, my stomach IS bigger. I inverted the colors so I would not torture you with a view of my stretch marks and my bra. Not sure why I took the pic that way. Anyway, it doesn't look so much like a bra with the colors like that. Anyway....that's me NOW....
Dr's appointment went like this - Baby is fine, vitals are good, blood pressure was a little high when I got there but they took it again and it was acceptable. No weight gain (can you believe it). I am sure I hit my max weight anyway. So the nurse tells me to undress from the waist down cause the Dr. was supposed to do some procedure but I am sure she is talking about the GBS test he did already. I did anyway, but he came in and said "oh I'm sorry she didn't know we had already done it". Tells me my protein test was up but that he STILL did not want to strip my membranes because I am not 38 1/2 weeks YET and moms with diabetes, he'll only induce or do that IF the baby was still in danger but baby is ok now. He wants to wait till next week IF I have not had the baby by then. He measured him and his head measures on target 37 weeks 4 days (1 day over), his waist 39 weeks 5 days I think, and his femer bone 38 weeks 2 days or something. Weight, 7 pounds 14 ounces, probably more like 8 pounds (by 2 ounces). Sheesh and I still have 2 more weeks - REALISTICALLY. Do I think this baby is going to reach 9 pounds. Yep I sure do think so. Darn it. Either my episiotomy is going to be much bigger this time or I am gonna end up with a c-section. Darn it. I am going to try my darnest to get him out naturally. I am gonna keep praying that he comes next week. Maybe he will come the same day or next day after the Dr. strips my membranes. I think Alani was born 4 or 5 days after he did that. My water was leaking like feels like I am now though. I *HOPE it is and the darn bag pops already and he comes. I am flippen tired, super cranky and in pain which I think I have mentioned in every post for like 2 months.
I was having a good day, then my day took a turn when I got home. I just got in a bad mood once these fricken contractions kicked in. I keep thinking the stupid things are doing something cause THEY HURT but here I am *STILL....no baby. Anyway I am being such a big whinny baby. My numb fingers and swollen left hand, carpel tunnel. Yep just what I needed. So I went to the orthopedic or SOMETHING dept. and they measured my hand and gave me those hand braces which are annoying to wear and it's hard to type, but they do seem to help with the pain.
Ok well today is church and I am not going again, abdominal pain, hurts to walk and it's just too much for me for people to be asking me "How much longer"? I can't handle that right now. I need to be alone lounging around at home. Seems like I need a nap or something too. Um...I think that's it. God Bless...
I have been up since 2am today with aches, pains, itching, numb fingers, swoleen left hand, cramping back pain and abdominal pain. Let's see what else....oh and neck pain from sleeping all funky weird when I do sleep. I am surprised I have not bawled out. I think it's because I know it will not help. You know what I have been doing? I serve myself some cereal. That's been my comfort. Not that high in sugar so no worries there but still not 100% good for me. My stomach has been super hard this morning, baby moved earlier today a bunch of times so he's all good. Tomorrow is my Dr's appointment and the closer it gets, the more I am thinking he's not going to strip my membranes. I figure I will be 37 weeks 3 days and he'll think he won't do it till my next weeks appointment since they are weekly. Like I said earlier I think the ONLY way this kid will be on his way out is if he's measuring big but I think the Doc will be willing to let me suffer another week. Crap.
Anyway,every day that passes feels like another week. I am tired and my energy burst has come and gone. Now I am just in constant pain and don't want to do anything. I did all my nesting things. Sure the closet needs to be reorganized cause it is driving me crazy. Sergio supposedly reorganized it but to tell you the truth he made it oh so much worse. Maybe if I am not in so much pain I will just handle it later. The problem is I can't bend down much so I might recruit him for help. He's got a few projects of his own lined up (by me of course) like finish painting up the patch up work he did on my room, the kids room and the living room. There are a few other things to do as well that I just don't remember or care to mention much cause I am in a bad mood. Be back tomorrow to report on my Dr.'s appt. God bless.
And now I want to be 38 weeks...I knew it. Gosh I can't believe I am almost at the end of the road. You loose sight of that with all the aches and pains of pregnancy. You really really do. Seeing women post on the pregnancy boards and it reads "21 week 2 days" in their siggy, makes me want to scream. I could not imagine myself being there right now. I am sure when that was me women at the stage I am at now felt the same.
So baby is good, I think, he's been sorta lethargic all night and this morning. I got up a million times with my weak bladder and all. I am going to get some ice water in a minute and see if he gets his lazy butt up. He was up high all night and was giving me a charlie-horse-type pain in my right side abdomen. I think I actually let out a scream (not a screaching scream) but an uncontrollable "OWWW this flippen hurts scream"!!! Everytime I get up from bed, I think "is my water going to break"? But it doesn't. I keep looking at my undies for leaking amniotic fluid which is what I had with Alani. That Sunday with her, I kept changing my underwear because I though I kept peeing on myself, but it didn't smell like pee! I knew it wasn't it was just too much. So anyway, no dice this time (not yet anyway). This kid seems to be comfy. I have another NST appt. today and I pray that they see these SO VERY PAINFUL contractions or pains I have been having ALL WEEKEND long. But I pray that he is not in distress as well. I mean it hurt to do anything, walk anywhere. I managed to go for a walk because it really felt like my labor had started and I said, let me help this kid get out. Well both times (Saturday's walk to Stearns Park and Sunday's walk around two blocks with Alani) proved to be quite the challenge. Yesterday especially. I had to go down one sidewalk and get on another and I could BARELY manage to pull up my leg enough to get on the curb. I had such a bad contraction and I felt like "ok THIS has GOT to be it" but I walked a little more (so I could get home) and managed to shake that one off. I was in pain though and could barely bend down enough to unstrap Alani from her little buggy car. She wanted to stay outside but there was no way, I needed to sit down and drink some water. So I said "come on you want juice"?? She is a total juice girl. That's probably why she gets diarrhea all the time. Her and her juice. Or I get her in the house by saying "come on you don't want to watch Veggi*e T*ales"? Almost always works. Well thank God it worked. Serg and Alexis were at church. I was going to go, but Serg knew by all the pain I was in that there was no way I was going to get dressed and out of the house like that. Everyone is just WAITING.....
My mom called me yesterday (left me message) and asked me what was happening. She thinks it will be any minute now, and it might be, but I don't think it's gonna happen till the Dr. strips my membranes which I don't even know if he will do it at this Thursday's appt. even though I will be 37 weeks 3 days. I think he is going to make me wait until next weeks appt. which SUCKS...I am gonna beg though. He's going to review my NST tests, I will tell him about my STILL itching, bad painful contractions, the swelling in my left hand where I can BARELY make a fist, the 24-7 numbness in my two left middle fingers, my BIG belly. I think the only thing that will convince him is the size of the baby. He was measuring 2 weeks ahead last time and I can guarantee you my belly is the size of a woman that is 40+ weeks pregnant! It's HUMOUNGOUS. Seriously. I don't sleep very well at all. As a matter of fact, I slept propped up, like sitting up literally, on my bed last night because I kept getting too many pains from the baby's weight. But you know.....OB's get crying women begging them to take the baby out when they darn well know the baby is not ready so I really think they are prepared to shoot you down easily. They don't really care about the tears and all your drama stories about not being able to sleep. I know in their head they think "well use birth control next time woman if ya don't want to be suffering like this". Anyway, that's just the way I think it goes down in their brain.
Alright, well we will see what happens. I am sure I will be back to complain some more some time this week. Ta ta and God Bless.
I could not think of a title. My brain is mush what can I say? I was just about to type on here how it's 6:15am, and my contractions seemed to have gone away. But I feel them now, back cramps and all, not as bad but they are there. I have been awake since almost 4:45 or so when my husband woke up to head off to school. It's his last day of school THANK GOD! But he has to go to flippen Ontario to a job site as part of his assighnment. Ontario is like a million miles away from here...ok not a million but at least 50 to 60 and ON A FRIDAY, and when your wife is "officially" in her 9th month of pregnancy. I have really milked that which is funny. I always tell my husband when he won't do something for me "Your wife is 9 months pregnant, probably carrying a 9 pound baby...blah blah blah". I say it kidding around but deep down inside he knows I am rubbing it in. I keep trying to make him let me poke him with one of my SMALL insulin needles but he's like "NO WAY EVER ARE YOU GOING TO TOUCH ME WITH THAT" and I say "and I have to poke myself 5 times a day, 3 times with the BIG needle and you can't poke yourself ONCE ever!!???". I like to tease him, I know he won't do it. I tell him that because he likes to say he's going to have more kids. It's like "HELLO, do you see what I have to go through to pop these kids out". No joke. Even people from church who like to have tons of kids, are like "wow you really got to think about having more kids huh". In reality, it sucks what I have to go through and having been to the Dr. approx. 30 times or so during pregnancy (not counting NST appointments which are 2X a week for 4 weeks), it's not THAT troublesome. I think I am just used to it. But it's weird to hear "healthy" pregnant women say they have gone to their Dr. 5 or 6 times MAX. That is just so surreal to me. Only 5 times?? Really?
I woke up with a headache and have this strange pain on my right side abdomen, like a pinched nerve type. It's kinda hard to walk. I am dreading the effects of adding that 2nd Lebatalol pill for my high blood pressure. Makes me SOOOO sleepy and gives me the worst headaches ever. I was supposed to go into work today but that's a no no according to the Doc. I need to be monitored and get the OK for Monday. I was actually looking forward to going in to work today but oh well. I need to get my paperwork filled out and I really want to teach someone about my sites. I am keeping good notes for them though so I may just go over how to do stuff over the phone JUST IN CASE.
Well I guess that's it. I don't have anything planned for the weekend, probably just lounge around and try to get some walking done, not that I am not in so much pain that I can barely get around, but walking after 5 minutes seems to be ok. I have to be continually walking though, with back pain and all, but it seems to help and make me feel better. So we will see. Alrighty God bless.
Yesterday I was just SOOOOOO overwhelmed. It was a good day then it turned bad really quick. It was Alexis first day of school so I had to help her prepare for it and take her to school. That was all fine and dandy. I came home and when I went to the bathroom and I wiped it looks like I am starting to loose my plug! I was like "what the heck"?? But excited! I kinda panicked also because I start to feel these sorta painful contractions, like menstrual cramp like and some are sharp. I tried timing them but they are very irregular. So I figure, he's just making his way out and I am sure I will know when things are happening. I hope that I am at least dialating so when I see Dr. Marshall next Thursday he will induce?? Not sure. He's not very open to inducing, I think especially when you have high blood pressure. Anyway we will see..
So I take my break and go and pick up Alexis as they had half day their first day of school. As I circle the packed parking lot a few times looking for her, I am having contractions and I'm uncomfortable, but I am still ok ya know, anyway, long story short, I backed into some young guys car as I tried to make way for someone to come through and he was also coming out of his parking space. I was SO upset. None of this would of happened if Alexis would of come straight to the car like she was supposed to. One of the teachers stopped her because she asked her for help in moving the stupid cones. I mean, they should of been more organized and I can sit here and blame everyone and their mom but really, it was my fault. I felt crappy, the parking lot situation was bad, I should of been more careful. I tell ya this was THE WORST week for Sergio to have to go to Carpenters school. He had already missed two class courses (1 week each) so this one was mandatory. But with me getting closer to having this baby, the things that I have been going through recently medically with this pregnancy, then now loosing my plug and the contractions kicking in like they have been, I am classifying it as the WORST week for him not being here with me. He could of taken care of all this taking and picking up crap. UGH. Oh well...things can't always be perfect can they?
Let's see, I called Dr. Marshall on my way to the school to find out lab results for my itching, they were in and the nurse said she would have him call me. He did call me back but I didn't hear my cell phone ring and he just left me a message saying he was sorry he missed me. He didn't say anything about calling in a prescription so I think my test results came back negative. The thing that concerns me is WHY AM I ITCHING???!!!! Last night was BAD....I didn't get very much sleep, between bathroom breaks, going to the couch and my bed, contractions, and itching, sleep last night was not really sleep. I am really tired today and I have a slew of things to do.
I have my second NST appt. today at 11am which really cuts into my work day. I am going to go in tomorrow (to work) so I need to get as much rest as possible today so I can actually get up at 3am tomorrow. I debated going in because of the contractions but I was just reminded by Human Resourses that I have not completed my Leave of Absense forms. It seems like the baby is taking forever so I have been focusing on that and not the details of actually being OFF work. That will be nice. No work for a few months. Anyway, I need to take care of that and also turn in my DSL and phone bills so I can get reimbursed. I also need to show someone at work how to do some of these inclusion and exlusion files for some of my MLS's. So now I hope that the baby does not make an appearance till I can take care of this stuff.
So we will see where these contractions are really are at at the NST appt. I am sure they will barely register even though they hurt! Ok I will update later. ;-) God bless.
So the appointment kinda sucked this time only because Dr. Marshall had just gotten back from vacation and Veronica my nurse wasn't there this time so everything was a little unorgarnized. Anyway, I was SO swollen when I got there I showed and 8 pound weight gain. That's right. Dr. was not worried as 6 of those pounds were surely water weight. We talked about my visit to Labor & Delivery, he said my blood results came back negative for HELLP BUT they didn't order the 1 blood test they needed to order for some other syndrome that gives you the itchies. He ordered and sound almost certain that I had it. I told him it was extremely uncomfortable and I felt like I was going nuts. Unfortunately the test takes 4-5 days to come in (the results)....so now I wait. Sucks because yesterday was a holiday and the weekend and holidays don't count. I am sure I won't get a call until Monday and I don't know how I am going to take this itching!!!! It's HORRENDOUS. He suggested I get the Aveeno Oatmeal bath to get some relief. I did and it didn't help. It made my skin feel nice and soft but that's about it. I even took a Benadryl last night and it helped me fall asleep till 1am then forget it I was up once it wore off......been itchy ever since. SO SUCKS. Baby was good, he didn't measure him and didn't check for dilation or effacement as he was running like an hour behind schedule. He had even forgotten about the GBS test, so I mentioned it and he said "let's do it" so we did, we'll see how that comes out. I don't have another appointment till the 14th which is NEXT Thursday....I started NST testing yesterday and baby was fine. I didn't feel any contractions until she started to unhook me from the machine.
Last night 2 really painful contractions woke me up and I prayed that they would be consistent and they would stop me in my tracks but no such luck. So at the next appointment I will be almost 38 weeks and I am super praying I don't make it but if I do I hope he strips my membranes and that will get things going. I was +1 in protein in my urine so I did the 24 hour Protein urine test on Sunday and took it to the lab yesterday. We'll see what the turns out. My blood pressure was high when I got there so I had to lay down for like 20 minutes and she took it twice till it went down to 130. He said I am showing signs of pre-eclampsia.....so maybe he will induce me??? Man I am so desperate right now.....I would almost do anything. Serg is in school this week though so maybe I just need to hang tight this week, work on walking a lot and finish washing baby clothes.
My parents were here this weekend and my sister was too. It was nice having my family around again. I tell ya though it's exausting. My house is small so all the people in my house is crazy. Once they left, that's when we left to the lab to drop off my urine container (nasty) and do blood work then went to NST appt. We grabbed some Taco Bell, came home and I watched CSI miami for a bit on my bed and took a short nap. Woke up with a headache and in a bad mood. Started to clean my house, vacuum, wash dishes etc. Felt nice to sit and relax in a clean house. The rest of the night was ok. We had leftovers galore so we had them for dinner and we went to bed at like 10. Got up early today to start the day and serg went off to school.
I am not sure what I am going to do this week. Alexis starts school on Wednesday but that's the day I need to go into work...so I would need to take Alani to Alma's really early then let her take Alexis to school on her first day?? Not sure about all that. I am not sure what class she will need to go into or any of that. Then Thursday, I have an NST appt at 11am. I might have to just go in on Friday. We will see...I need to think about this. Ok well I rambled long enough. I will update later this week if I get a call from the Dr. on the blood test results. God Bless.
Well yesterday after I got off work I think I got 2 or 3 things done off my list of like 20. In my earlier posts I mentioned how I had these incredible energy bursts. Well I am afraid to say they are going away. My husband was fixing the kids room up, hooking up the stereo, cable and TV and I could not even stand there for longer than 2-3 minutes. He sent me away and made me go sit down. I started to get super itchy again and took a Benadryl. I knew I was not going to get through the night if I didn't. Anyway, I took my millionth shower since I have been feeling hot and itchy all day and I think I fell asleep pretty fast BUT I woke up at 12:00 and went to my couch. I tossed and turned on it for about 40 minutes, got up went to bed, baby decided he wanted to be awake so I lay there awake, then I could hear my hubby snoring and I woke him up so he would stop. STILL no luck falling asleep. It was 2am by now and I was WIDE awake. I went back to the couch, then got up and took another Benadryl as the package says take every 4-6 hours - oh I guess I didn't mention that this whole time I am itching. Head, legs, arms - just everywhere. You know what it feels like? Like ants are crawling on you. It's the flippen worst. I was commanding the baby to come out already. I am D O N E. I might not be 100% ready at home but I am done being pregnant and want him to come already. This sucks! UGH....I noticed that I keep having "wishful" dreams about my water breaking. My mom called last night and said they were coming into town this weekend which is great! It would be so nice if I went into labor while they were here. My sister is also coming with her two boys. She's 29 weeks pregnant I think. So she's coming to hang out with me. My parents are going to a party and I know I'm not going - it's too far from here and with my luck I would go into labor being away. Anyway, I guess that's it. My right arm and hang is totally swollen. It feels and looks like a giant's hand. Seriously. I morphed into something very weird looking...my nose is big, my feet are like a size 12 probably,ONE of my arms is huge......ok I'll stop.... God Bless.
My feet feel like they are going to burst again. I am almost off work and I already have a list of things I need to get done. My husband has been doing a lot. He put my curtains up (I am going to put up some pics tomorrow or Friday once we are done). My bathroom looks good. Matching towels, shower curtain and all other things match. Satisfied with that. My room got rearranged today in such a way so that the things for my third child fits. I can't believe all that is being done in this house to get ready for this baby. I don't think we did half the things we have done so far with Alani. I mean this house is changing from top to bottom. I am tired and all I have done is work today. I just took my last break and jumped in the shower because I am just HOT today and it's probably like 80 degrees tops. I just feel icky now. Contractions are starting to be more painful everytime. Not consistent ones so I am for sure not in labor but they just hurt and I am just hoping they are doing something. Not sure if my Dr. is going to check for effacement or dilation on Friday. I know he's going to test me for GBS and that requires some open leg actions. Hate those. Still so embarrasing. At least when you are in labor you are in pain and you don't care but when it's the dr. that's been taking care of you for 9 months, it's like "ok spread em' lemme take a peek". Anyway, it's gonna get done. I hope he does check for dialation or effacement and tells me I am like 3 cm or something. I don't think I have dropped because I still feel out of breath a lot & I've read that when you drop you feel like you can breathe better. Also, I am still hungry all the time. I eat and like an hour later I am hungry again. I don't give in usually and when I do I have my allowed snack. UGH...my feet....they are swollen and they hurt! I am still itching too, a little less than this morning but still itchy.
Well I guess I just wanted to come and wine for a sec and talk about what's been happening at my house, work wise......alright God Bless...be back to report about my Friday 36 week APPT.
I labeled this post trip #1 to L&D because I think I will end up there again eventually before I actually give birth. I was there this time because I have been itching like nobody's business....like all over...top of my feet, arms, my back, Oh my gosh my back, and Oh my gosh my boobs, neck....just unbelieveable. So I look up "Itching" in my "what to expect when you are expecting" book and it starts talking about HELLP...and all kinds of drama about how my kidneys can shut down and one of the symptoms is itching. So me not wanting to brush this off, call my Dr. because by this time my hubby is breathing down my throat and wants to take me to L&D (at 6am) so I wait for the call, she tells me to go to L&D because my Dr. is on vacation till Wednesday anyway (I have an appt. with him on Friday) and they can do blood work etc...so I get there and stay till 3pm. They monitor "G" (the baby) and he's happy as a clam...I am even having contractions (WOO HOO!!!) so they check me all around, no rash, they order blood to be drawn and if I am deloping this HELLP stuff, they will call me so I can come back ASAP. Otherwise my Dr. will go over the results when I come back to see him on Friday. I never got a call and I am still itching. They told me to take Benadryl which helped a little but I had never taken this stuff before. When I went to go buy it I thought it was like cough syrup looking but ended up they are pills. I took one, fell asleep and woke up with a MEAN headache. I felt like I was hung over. I am totally itching now and am tempted to take another one but I am in the office today (since my hubby is finishing the work at Matt's house) but I still have to drive to Matt's house and I am scared that I am going to be really dizzy. At least he's driving home. I will probably take one when I leave but I am not sure I am going to hang that long. We'll see.
Anyway, I will be 36 weeks soon and I am hoping baby will be here within the next two weeks. I wish I would go into labor NOW but we are not quite ready yet. I washed the baby's bedding, stroller, car seat and some clothes, but not all. I still have to wash all my blinds too!! My husband is putting up these really nice curtains and curtain rods all over the house. We got THE BEST DEAL ever on these rods. I got them on clearance for $4.00 (the rods) instead of $13 (each) and then I got curtains that were between $30-60 for $3-$6. So my entire house will have curtains and we spent about $80 on EVERYTHING. He put my bedroom ones up and man they look nice!! We got a really nice sateen duvet cover as well and it will look so good in there. The kids rooms is coming along - they have new comforters, even back up sateen duvet covers, and really cute matching decorative pillows made of velvet type material. I got Alexis underbed organizer containers for her polly pockets and barbie stuff. I just need to get one couch out of my living room as our "decluttering" process and re-arrange some stuff, like our room, to make room for baby rocking chair and now the basinette (which I also washed with baby soap).....wow tired of typing.
Thank our Lord, He gave us the energy to do all this and go to Sergio's mini family reunion in San Fernando. His aunt & uncle which raised him had a get together and he got to see his cousins which he has not seen since he was like 13. He was the popular one there and they kept telling him how good he looked and how he had a nice family. They looked at him like they were proud of him and he totally looked SO happy and I am so glad. He said he felt wanted when he was there and thanked me for being his wife and giving him his kids (awwww). Anyway, ok just had to document that. God bless.
Wow so I figured I would be more tired than EVER by now, well I have my days, but this week I have been getting these energy bursts out of nowhere. I am still in pain, especially when bending down because I can't really bend down because of my water balloon stomach, but I can actually DO stuff. When I sit down I collapse but then once I rest for 5 minutes I catch myself sweating again getting into another "project". I have been such a freak since getting pregnant. I have been preparing for this baby to come for months. I have cleaned out kitchen cabinets completely, cleaned BEHIND the stove AND microwave cart (which was so totally disgusting by the way). Watching all those shows on TV (me and my hubby) makes ME want to declutter my house. WHen you are done watching them you look at your house and you're like YUK!! We have painted every room in this place now (the kids rooms twice now) except for the kitchen which does need to be painted now cause to me it looks ugly with all the chips in the wood from just wear and tear. The doorframes need to be painted as well. This weekend I am going to call my landlord so he can provide us with paint like he said he was.
Anyway, so Serg did work for this guy from work, which was a blessing because now I can pay a bill I was going to get a little behind on, I was debating whether or not to get behind on it and get the mattresses with that instead but I *think I will be responsible and pay the bill. The beds will have to wait till I get more income coming in. I am supposed to be waking up my husband right now so he can get ready to go to the church to put together the play set he built for my babysitter but he has been working so hard all weeek! He painted the kids room on Monday and moved all the furniture in, then preped, sanded, primered and painted the bathroom. The Wednesday and Thursday he did similar work stuff at my co-workers house, except he actually got paid there. Today and Saturday he is working at church building this huge wood playset thing (not charging the church). On sunday they asked him to work as parking lot security but I really don't want him to because it's the church's 18th anniversary and there is only going to be 1 service and food afterwards and how am I gonna handle everything being so pregnant. How is he gonna eat? So I think I might make him call and say he can't do it cause he has to help me with the kids. I think it's only reasonable, he's already contributing by being there for 2 days. Oh I forgot one thing he did also, when he was dreadly and deadly tired, at my babysitters house, her toilets, tubs and sinks were ALL clogged and he begged him to go out there to fix. We headed straight over there after work and she bought dinner, but he got it done.....so proud of my husband. He's had a crazy life and in the past he has done some things to hurt me. But thank God Jesus died for our sins and through God's Grace we are saved. Saved through the blood of the lamb. For this, I have forgiven him and now my marriage has never been better. With God in our lives, I NEVER in a million years thought it could be this good! Thank you Jesus.
Well I am 34 weeks now...seems like now that I am posting on a weekly basis the weeks are going by even slower. I remember being 12 weeks pregnant and thinking I wish I was 20 weeks, then when I was 23 weeks I wanted to be 30 weeks. You're just never satisfied I guess. This week I told hubby "34 weeks" and he looked dissapointed he said "I thought you were 35 weeks!!!" Yep, he's getting anxious too. I took a sick day yesterday cause I was just not feeling good. Headache to the max, cramps and sore throat. All went away except for the cramps. I know this is TMI but my "down there" hurts ALL the time. I feel like the vains are bruised or strained or something. It hurts when I walk or do ANYTHING for that matter. I am TOTALLY waddling now and I so don't want to. Dawn at church was apparatly walking behind me and said "Bertha you are totally waddling" I said "I know and i don't like it". I feel as if the baby's head is between my legs". I am telling you I did not feel like this with Alani until the last 2 weeks or so. I have 5 more weeks? Seems like a little to alot of people but if you look at me, you're like, geesh, she's not gonna make it. To tell you the truth I am gonna pray SUPER hard for this baby to come at 36 weeks since he will be considered full term. That would be the week of Sept. 4th. A girl can dream no?
Let's see what else is going on. The kids room got painted! It looks nice and serene now. Not a shocking purple/lavendar anymore. It like a very light capuchino. The dressers got delivered this weekend. I am super broke now of course. We bought 3 of them dark wood. We were up till 10:30 PM getting everything in there. I made Sergio bring in the bunk beds from the garage and he assembled them. Now all we need is $250 bucks so I can buy the mattresses from Costco. :-) I am washing baby clothes right after I get off work today and Sergio also got the car seat and boppy pillow out of the garage for washing. We still have tons of things to do so me wishing that the baby comes in 2 weeks better not happen for my sake. Well we might be ready. Not sure...we'll see. It might be better that the baby is born on time as that would mean that I can work till the end of Sept and I would have Oct, Nov and December off for Maternity leave. I would be super broke for Christmas but hey that's ok. We don't need no stinkin' presents. As long as the kids got some, I would be totally cool with that. I am sure we will be totally fine. I am just dramatic when it comes to $$$. My hubby is supposed to do some work for this guy from work so that will bring in some $$. Lately he's been doing a lot of free work for people but God blesses us because of that. He has let me know this week that is so totally there and I thank Him and love Him so much more for that. That's it for now. I have been eating like a total porker this week so I expect to get yelled at by the Dr. on 9/1 which is my next Dr's appt. I will *TRY to be good this week though. GOD BLESS.
Ok so from now on the following day I am going to come on here and post about my appointment with Dr. Marshall so it's documented. You think you are going to remember but ya don't.
MISC: Ok so I was running a little late to the appointment, Nancy, Alexis and Alani came with me. I forgot to remind Sergio to get a stroller out of the garage for me so we had to walk in there with her (which is always dangerous because she grabs everything).
WEIGHT: I gained 2 pounds in two weeks. Scale said I gained 4 pounds but I had just eated AND taken a shower so my hair was wet. Doc said remove 2 pounds. WHEW. Better but still not "acceptable". Sucks. It's that darn Louisiana sausage I have been eating. I bought more of it this weekend when I went grocery shopping but I also decided to get the turkey sausage, I compared the calories and was shocked to see 26 grams of fat on the Hot link sausage to 6 grams of fat for the turkey. WHAT A DIFFERENCE. So needless to say I am laying off the other stuff although it is super delish (but also gives me heartburn).
Blood pressure: Was high like 152 when I got there but that was because we were rushing and I was nervous about weight. SO, she had me lay on my left side for about 5 minutes and it was 118 which was the lowest it's ever been. I didn't tell the dr. that I had JUST taken the meds like 1 hour before I got there. So I need to continue to take it in the AM so when I get there I know if it's worn off by then and need to go back on taking 2 of them.
NEXT APPT: In two weeks, then they will be weekly as I will then be 35 weeks. I think my NST appointments will start either at that time OR at 36 weeks. Can't remember.
and last but NOT least.............
BABY: Turns out that my itty bitty is not so itty bitty anymore, little monster, he's 5 lbs 4 oz now. His head measures that of a 33 week 4 day old, but his waist was measuring at 34 weeks 6 days and worried the doc for a second as babies from mom's with diabetes tend to be fat BUT then he measured his femer bone (sp?) and it also measured that of a 34 week 6 day baby so he said it all worked out. His body proportion measures on target with his waist. So he's most likely going to be a tall boy as he is measuring almost 2 weeks ahead in length and weight. Fatty boy.
I need to dig up Alani's ultrasounds to see what weight she was at at 33 weeks. I am curious now. But I am getting better at my eating I think. OK so I had Ben and Jerry's ice cream the other day and I bought Chips Ahoy cookies that I have been munching on here and there (I need to hide those as they are my weakness, they are so good!) I only have 1 or two (or three when I push it) but still I need to hide them or make everyone else eat them before I eat them all. I need to buy more sugar free cookies but they are just not the same.....sigh....But anyway, I think that that's all the "BAD" stuff I had. Before I get that 2nd peice of wheat toast I think about "G" (the baby) and what it will do to him (fatten him up even more then I have a hard time pushing him out and I have to end up getting a C-Section) and I back off. I think I am going to make me some breakfast now so I can eat some healthy stuff. God Bless and more to come later...
33 weeks today and according to my pregnancy ticker I have 49 days to go. This weekend we are supposed to get the 3 wooden dressers we had ordered from this furniture place in Orange County. Got a really good deal. So on Saturday morning I have to empty all of Alexis drawers and Serg is going to move it to the garage. Someone if supposed to come by Thursday night to buy Alexis furniture. I am selling it for a super good deal. $175 for the whole thing. Queen bed with Mattress, dresser, mirror and two nightstands. I put it on the pennysaver and got alot of calls this weekend. So hopefully these people pay for it on Thursday then they are supposed to pick it up next weekend.
My sister is visiting from San Jose this week. She knows I work from home and basically came to spend time with Alexis. I get off work early so we have plenty of time to do things after I get off work. It's nice to have some family around for once. I get lonely sometimes you know? There's nothing like having your mom or sisters/brothers around. They know you....the real you.
Anyway, let's see....symptoms wise, I am sleeping a little better, instead of getting up every hour on the hour I am actually sleeping 2-3 hours at a time! That's such a huge thing. I have my days where I am just in pain, cramping, can't bend down, out of breath and feeling like I am going to pass out if I don't sit down but I actually think I am getting a little used to it. We went to the mall yesterday (Nancy me and Alexis) while my hubby and Alani stayed home to take a nap. and I think we were there for MAYBE an hour. By the time we went to the last store, Nancy was like you ready to go home. I was like "yeah" she noticed I had to keep sitting down. My back was flippen killing me. Sometimes my days are bad like I said. Yesterday was one of those days. Towards the end of the day I am D O N E. It sucks cause I wish I could be more active so I can do things with my sister, like go bike riding and such. I think I am gonna ask Serg to let's go bike riding tonight. I can walk and they can ride. It will be fun to get out and do that. He doesn't want to because he feels sorry for me I know cause I can't ride a bike anymore. My belly is just too big and I am super clumsy right now so I know I would loose my balance. I can't even put on my clothes (bottoms) without holding on to something, so that kinda tells ya everything. Seems like it's just TOO early to feel like this but from reasing the pregnancy boards "Due in September" EVERYONE seems to be on the same boat. Pain Pain and more pain.
Well I think that's it for now. I will be back later this week as I have a Dr's appt today and my sister gets to see the baby via ultrasound!!!
Man oh man. I woke up feeling like I have a hangover, but there is not that alcohol taste in my mouth or stomach. I didn't sleep very well at all last night AGAIN. Need Unisom. I took my blood pressume meds late last night which I am sure have to do with this horrible neck type headache I have. I even just threw up. I woke up at 5:55 from my couch. I probably sleep for about an hour (if that) on my bed, then I went to the bathroom like 4-5 times AT LEAST, then I just gave up and dragged some pillows to my couch but was not very comfortable at all all night. I got up for the millionth time and took some tylenols because I felt the headached then tried to go to bed and woke up with a very painful pain in my stomach. I knew right away what it was, tylenol with no food in my stomach. Got up and slapped some peanut butter and splenda sugared jelly on 1 piece of wheat toast and had some milk. Felt way better. Sat up on my couch and just stared out my window. Only 1am. Ugh....
I didn't go soul winning last night with my church. It was just too much. We went to the beach though (before soul winning), and I KNEW and Sergio knew I was tired because I had been up since 3am to drive into work. It was either go to the beach and try to sleep there OR stay home with Alani and my hubby take my neice and nephews to the public pool. I knew I would not get any sleep with her here. She gets into EVERYTHING. So I went and I did sleep for a bit but that walk from the car to the actual shore, wore me out. By the time we got home and showered and ready to go, DUDE I was in pain. I kept getting charlie horse type cramps on the sides of my big pregnant belly. I could barely make a move without feeling it. ON top of that all, when I had gotten home, I noticed that my left foot and ankle were swollen. I felt like I had a club foot and my skin felt tight and just yuck. So I was like no way can I go to church.
So I am hoping that I at least make it to 36 weeks SOON cause I want to have this baby already. I am not ready for him, but I just want this to be over already. I know I will miss being pregnant but dang it, this is hard, this kid has seriously beat my body up this time around. I don't think I have woken up feeling crappy THIS many times like ever. So early in pregnancy. People say "Oh you're almost done", UM no I'm not. I am ALMOST 33 weeks but that's not ALMOST there. Yesterday Sergio got home from church and said "Oscar asked me if I was sure we weren't having twins" I told Sergio that I really did not think I was much bigger than Alma. When I went to her babyshower and they did the toilet paper game thing, where you wrap so many block of toilet paper around your belly, well she was 12 squares of TP and I am about 13 1/2. I am 5'10 though so I think that 1 1/2 more blocks of TP for someone 5'10 AND I am a big girl when I am NOT pregnant so I think I may LOOK bigger than her because I don't wear baggy clothes or something. I dunno. I feel better knowing that I am not really THAT much bigger. Her due date is 5 days farther along than me. SO anyway...my head is pounding and Alani is asking for JUICE. Gotta go... God Bless.
Ok here my my whinny baby post....LONG....starting Friday
I called in to work sick on Friday as there was no way possible I was going to be able to drive in to work on like 10 hours of sleep the ENTIRE WEEK. This baby boy of mine is proving to be a challenge already. PLUS, Alexis has had an ear infection since we went to Newport Beach last weekend and it was BAD all week. The little sleep that I was getting, she would wake me up crying. The meds she got on Tuesday for her ears seemed to not be working. Her ear was totally RED and swollen and I could not even lighty touch her ear because she would start crying. I thought she was exaggerating but then I saw that her ear was actually red and swollen. Anyway, more drops, more treatment and we were both all better by Saturday night.
Saturday started with me making breakfast, Sergio went to Pastor's house with Albert to try and finish fixing his bathroom addition. He took my Envoy because his truck is getting worked on at the shop. Albert's dads worker took out the bumber trying to pull out of a parking space. Don't ask my how that can happen but it did. So I wasn't really going to go anywhere anyway, I did laundry, cleaned up the house but this whole time I feel AWFUL, like seriously I felt like I was in labor on Saturday. I had THE WORST cramps, going from the front of my stomach to my back. I had those painful lower back cramps, like when you're about to get an awful period or like the first day of that grosse period. I kept drinking water and tried to keep myself on a positive note. Alma's babyshower was at 1pm and I was supposed to make an entre to bring but there was just NO WAY I was going to cook something, watch Alani AND get ready. So when my husband got home to drive me to the shower, I had barely gotten out of the shower, the gift was not wrapped AND I had no food for the shower. So off he went to the chinese food spot to buy a tray for like 20 people of Chow Mein and Orange Chicken. I asked Cindy his sister to watch Alani as there were no kids allowed and she was all excited because this is the first time ever we leave her alone with her. Hubby was NOT happy about that but oh well what can I do. He wanted to complain more but he knew I felt like absolute crap. I took Alexis with me though. We got there and like 5 or 6 of the ladies had their kids. Some people just don't follow the rules. So we eat, I hear "Oh whoa look at your belly" like a million times (basically look at how big your stomach is).....open presents, I eat cake (that I am not supposed to eat) and I helped clean up (as crappy as I felt since I had to wait for Sergio)...we get home, and I actually start to feel a little better (maybe it was the cake!) just kidding. Cindy decides she wants to keep Alani and to my total and utter shock, my husband is OKAY with it. So we take Alexis to Dave and Busters since we never take the kid anywhere alone, since our almost 2 year old brat, is well, a two year old brat. We eat and have a good time, we come home, get Alani and finish off the night nice and boring watching TLC trading spaces and the episode sucks so I go to bed alone.
Sunday, we wake up late, don't go to AM Sunday school OR church, clean up, I cook, we lounge and I wash more clothes, fold, clean clean and clean. I start to feel like crap AGAIN. We start getting ready for PM church service, our bus kids 5 week ministry turn starts, new verse, new song and new skit. Our assistant pastor and his wife make it known (to me) that we were not there in the AM service. OKAY....I say....they figure I was not feeling well...good guess...so we come home, I am in a not so good mood because I was just tired and hurting and mad that I can't even bend down without being in pain, I start to get dinner together, and instead of my hubby asking me if I need help with anything, he sits in front of the computer and starts looking whatever up. I looked over at him and said "sure honey, you can help me by doing blah blah blah" he got up and was being a big baby and then Alexis said "yeah Dad don't be all sensitive" or something to that effect and that was the end of that. He got totally pissy, I told him not to help me if he was going to have an attitude, it all ended with me saying "well don't eat then, WHATEVER" he marched off, didn't eat dinner" and I was totally fine with it. I was like (in my head) "COME ON I HAVE HAD SUCH A BAD TIME ALL LAST WEEK, THIS WEEKEND, AND I STILL DID ALL THE FLIPPEN CHORES AT HOME, INCLUDING THE LAUNDRY, WHICH IS HIS JOB, I COOKED FOOD FOR LIKE 2 DAYS, I AM COMPLAINING AND IN PAIN THE WHOLE WAY HOME, AND YOU JUST SIT AT THE COMPUTER LIKE YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS TIRED, WHAT!!! DID I MISS SOMETHING HERE". Yes I am crazy, I said all this in my head and I stuck to my guns. I am just a wicked pregnant woman right now. Don't mess with me. As of this AM he's still mad at me and he slept on the couch. I had the bed all to myself. I am sure he's got a little neck pain going right now. He's really hard headed so I betcha he'll still be mad when he gets home. If he apologizes, I will have to as well, that's IF.......just kidding. If he doesn't make peace I will.... That was God telling me that ya know... God bless
Wow....time really does fly. Let's see I am 31 weeks today which means that I will "officially" be 8 months next week. I have a doctors appointment today and I am praying hard that I didn't gain any weight at all. I was there 2 weeks ago so if I did gain, the MOST I could gain was 1 pound. At the end of week one, I had lost 1.8 pounds but I over did it a few times. It is UNBELIEVEABLE how hungry I am sometimes. I told my hubby that NOW I can't wait till the time comes to have the baby. It's like time flies but can't come soon enough at the same time. I want myself back. I miss my regular clothes, my eating habits (or having CONTROL of my eating), my smaller feet, being able to see my feet, being able to walk for more than 20 minutes without having to sit down, um what else? Just not feeling so vunerable. I feel like such a weakling being pregnant. I want to get up and scrub and clean hard and I just can't. I can't smell fumes, I can't eat 2 flippen slices of wheat toast because my sugar goes sky high. That's another thing that's got me ready to cry. My sugars are just out of control. My insulin got adjusted and instead of going down THEY WENT UP. HOW is that possible?!!! UGH. So we'll see what Dr. Marshall says today.
You know why I got out of bed this morning? Because the baby woke me up. Yep, the baby that's not even here yet woke me up and KEPT me up last night. I was just telling my husband right now that I got up 10 times last night, 7 of them to go to the bathroom. Several times I resorted to sitting/laying on my couch just so I could sneak in some sleep. It's just unbelieveable the difference in this pregnancy. This has been WAY more on me than any pregnancy I think. I didn't start going through this getting up a million times drama till maybe 3 to 4 weeks before baby was due. All I got to say is that I am going to PRAY HARD for an easy labor. I am wondering if it's because we are having a boy. Oh and the comments about me looking "oh so big" and "you look like you're about to pop". Yep they're rolling in like tumble weeds. My husband told me to thank them when they said that. That's rude I think, but then again, they are being rude by saying that. Right? I got home and I looked in the mirror and said "I AM BIG!" (which I already knew) LOL.
So we went to the beach on Saturday and we had a really good time. As always this trip was not planned. It was a spur of the moment thing. We went out of breakfast then on the drive back home Alexis kept questioning us about "what we were going to do TODAY". She is like that, we do something and the next question is "so what's next"??? Always wondering what's on the "agenda". My husband said "go home and clean up" but we had already cleaned up. I had gotten up and washed dishes, so kitchen was clean, house was picked up and beds were done. So we talked in "code" and decided to go to the beach. I told him of a spot me and my best friend went to where there was not a lot of people and the water was super crisp and clean. It was past Bolsa Chica and the city ended up being Newport Beach. Parking was difficult but it was worth it. I made sandwiches and we packed fruit and drinks in the cooler, got our beach chairs, had the girls change into their swimsuits and out we headed. I got a little bit of a workout and Alani behaved...she was playing in the sand and would scrunch it in her hands and look at me in disbelief like "You're REALLY letting me get all dirty and roll around in this stuff"??? Sad to say but even though the beach is 4 miles away from here she's only been there a handful of times. We're already planning on our next trip there very soon. Possibly this weekend. This is a good way to get outta the house, not spend ANY money and truly enjoy the day and EVERYONE is happy.
Ok one more note - we got a call from that apartment managing place, the guy said they had an apartment managing position open in Downey which is right up our alley because we don't want to move that far from here because of Alexis school, and so he asked us to drive by it, then come in the next day to meet with him about it. We did, it was a long 1 hour talk/interview. The guy was funny and nice. BUT he told us at the end that he STILL had 3 more couples to interview and we ended up finding out that most of the properties he supervises are commercial. This is his ONLY residential type apartment he oversees SO he's being unusually picky. He asked us how soon we could move in and we said we had to give 30 day notice which he was like "uhhhhhh" (not likeing that answer very much). I can't just not give my landlord notice. The managers for that complex did that to him and he didn't like it very much so why should he expect someone else to do that to their current landlord? Anway, I leave it in God's hands. We were actually going to tell him we were NOT going to take it because #1 there is hardly ANY shrubbery around the complex #2 It's too......I dunno.....plain....I can't see myself living there with 3 kids. But we talked about it and we said that since we have no experience with managing we would not be able to be picky. We would need to take what we were offered, manage that for a year then be more demanding on what we wanted since we are going to prove that we are some darn good managers.
Alright....enough rambling....Alani is obsessed with Veggie Tales...and my T.V. in my room which is almost 10 years old...finally died....I was surprised it lasted this long. God Bless.....
I am praying about alot of things right now. I have to remind myself every minute of the day it seems like, that if God will's these things will happen. I have to accept God's decision if some things do not happen the way that I start to "dream" about them. Like ok on Monday me and my hunny went to talk with Ron at a apartment managing company about possibly managing a 40-80 unit complex. Why would I move my kids into an apartment? #1 - Free rent #2 - they pay up to $1500 TO YOU since my husband is handy and I would be able to probably stop working. I would LOVE it if my work allowed me to continue to work from home but I don't think that will happen. We will see - gotta have FAITH! The next thing going on right now, is Alexis is back from San Jose - this has been the worst BY FAR. She is almost 10 years old and the whole time she was there (3 weeks) she never went to church like she was supposed to, when she came back, I noticed she doesn't pray before she eats her meals, she was listening to Nel*ly Furt*ado's new CD, which the main song is called something like Promiscuous girl...My sister was sitting in my car telling me how this was her totally favorite song. I felt like choking her. It's like DO YOU NOT GET IT. I told my husband that she was listening to this stuff but not what the songs were called. He would of probably called my parents. The worst thing is they think that we are too strict with her and that she acts different when we are around. Well of course! We are her parents and we don't allow her to do/act bratty and do as she pleases. I didn't when I was a kid why should I let my kid do as she pleases. So I am still upset about that,ESPECIALLY because she misses "her life" in San Jose so very much. Oh well she'll have to get used to being back home real quick. All I know is I am never letting her go out there alone - EVER. My husband was right and I should of listened to him. He thought he would be the bad guy if he didn't let her go, and he probably would of, but it would of been for the best.
Anyway, other things I am praying for is my flippen weight to stop already. As of TODAY I am eating better, I had stopped taking my blood sugars regularly for like 3 weeks, and I know that this has been because I know all that crappy food will show up on my blood sugar monitor (when I poke my finger 1 hour after I eat). I was trippen and now I am up +34 pounds from when my pregnancy started. Soooo...the result. I look like I am about to give birth. Everyone is like "wow with your last pregnancy you were not this big" I looked at pics of me when I was about to give birth to Alani and I look bigger I think right now....and I still have 2.5 more months to go. I seriosly, do not want to gain, not even a pounds, so since the baby is 3 pounds 4oz right now at 29 weeks 2 days, he IS going to gain weight which means that I have to loose some. I know that it's not bad for obese women to loose some weight during pregnancy, as long as I am taking in all of my allowed calories, AND I do some workouts I will loose at least 5-6 pounds which will be pounds for baby. He's moving as I type this. I brougt a good lunch so I am gonna heat it up and grub. Ta ta and God Bless.
I always come to my blog but have no interest in updating it. Maybe it's because I don't think anyone is reading it. I forgot what I said to myself it's not for anyone else but for me. Funny how easily you forget things like that. I wanted to start writting all the little things Alani does now. She's almost 20 months old and I haven't documented anything. Like when she first starting talking, using the sippy cup etc. But I will look toward the future and start writting all the cute little things she says and does so I can tell her when she's older. Time flies. Alexis is almost 10! She's at her grandparents house until July 15th. She left to San Jose with my sister on 6/25 when Nancy came to visit for the weekend. I think mostly she came to get Alexis but that's ok. My husband is not too happy because they didn't take her to church on Sunday like they were supposed to.
So my pregnancy has been flying by. I will officially be in my 7th month as of Monday. Our neighbor and his wife had their baby last Friday or Saturday and they came home on Sunday or so..baby was crying her head off as I went to bed that night. I was thankful that my little one was not here yet. Everyone keeps saying "I bet you can't wait to have that baby, especially with this heat". I want to meet my little man but I can wait until due time which is the end of Sept. Just this past week we started to buy him some clothes and little things here and there because I don't think Alani's pink clothes will look very good on him. Plus my husband has a different take on what he wants him to wear. He doesn't want to dress him up like a dork he say's. So anyway, so far I have liked the 0-3 month clothes we have gotten. I even got really good deals on Ebay. Can't beat e-bay ya know. Alright well I need to get to work. I am working from home this Wednesday because traffic is supposed to be really bad today AND I could not get to bed early since everyone was lighting fireworks late! There was no way I was going to get up at 3am. I read a wonderful devotion this morning.....I wanted to post it. It's from Greg Laurie's newsletter I get during the week:
The Declaration of Dependence
—
Having had the opportunity to travel around the world, let me say that I think America is the greatest country on Earth!
We are far from perfect. We have our many flaws. But we have so much to be thankful for as a nation.
Imagine what kind of world we would live in today if there had been no America. No one to turn back the rise of Nazis and their allies in World War II. No one to stand up against the tyranny of Communism over the years. No one to stand up for the small nations that cannot help themselves. Then there are the billions of dollars in aid we have sent around the world to help those in need.
Why has America been able to do all those things? Because we have a foundation that has taught us what right and wrong are, taught us there is a God who has given us His Word to guide us and taught us there is a responsibility that comes with His bounty.
We learn those things from the book our country was founded on: the Bible.
Thomas Jefferson is said to have written, "The Bible is the cornerstone for American liberty." Of Holy Scripture, Andrew Jackson said the Bible is "the rock on which our republic rests." Abraham Lincoln stated, "All the good Savior gave to the World was communicated through this Book. But for this Book we could not know right from wrong. All the things most desirable for man's welfare, here and hereafter, are to be found in it."
The Fourth of July is this week. As you know, our Founding Fathers framed a document we call the Declaration of Independence, authored by Thomas Jefferson and signed in 1776.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.
We often forget that in declaring independence from an earthly power, our forefathers made a direct declaration of dependence upon God Almighty. The closing words of this document declare: "With a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor."
So it's not only a "Declaration of Independence" from foreign tyranny. It's also the "Declaration of Dependence" on God Almighty.
God has blessed this great nation of ours over these past 200-plus years. We rightly sing "America, America, God shed His grace on thee . . . "
A symbol of our country and our liberty is the Statue of Liberty. Inscribed at the entrance to it are the words:
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
Instead, we have more and more people who want to come in, searching for the "American Dream," searching for this happiness we speak of in our Declaration of Independence.
And as we have seen time and time again, it's still possible to come from another place to the United States and live the "American Dream." Hard work really can pay off and you can still succeed and prosper in this country.
But the question is, are we a happy people? Let me personalize it: Are you happy?
Some of the unhappiest people I know are those who are in the pursuit of happiness. Perhaps that is why philosopher Eric Hoffer wrote, "The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness." Playwright George Bernard Shaw wrote, "There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."
In America, the accumulation of material goods is at an all-time high. But so is the number of people who feel an emptiness in their lives.
Forbes magazine devoted its 75th-anniversary issue to a single topic: "Why we feel so bad when we have it so good." Noting Americans live better then any other people on the planet, Forbes invited prominent observers of modern culture to speculate as to why we are "depressed," or in the words of editor James Michaels, "Why is this nation that marched so proudly into the 20th century slouching so dejectedly toward the third Millennium"? The articles in this special issue chronicled an alarming loss of values, absolutes and meaning in contemporary life.
Why is this? Abraham Lincoln answered this question many years ago.
We have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious Hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own.
President Lincoln was right. We have forgotten God. It's even more true today.
We have thrown God out of the classroom. We have thrown Him out of the courtroom, a judicial system built on Biblical truth. And we have done our best to throw Him out of modern culture.
We have, as the Bible says, "sown the wind, and reaped the whirlwind" (see Hosea 8:7 NKJV).
In spite of being a nation at peace and having a robust economy, we have "trouble in paradise." As many as 20 percent of Americans (54 million) will battle major depression in their lifetime. As many as 45 million Americans participate in drinking binges at least once a month.
There are 650,000 attempted suicides a year in our country. Every 17.2 minutes in America, someone kills themselves. Approximately 500,000 people received emergency-room treatment as a result of attempted suicide. There are more suicides than homicides, and the highest rate is among senior citizens. Teenage suicide has reached epidemic levels.
I read in a recent article on young people and suicide that the number of 10-14 year olds taking their lives has gone up dramatically since the early 1980s. According to a study by the American Association of Suicidology, up to 60 percent of high school students report having suicidal thoughts. The word that experts use over and over again to describe kids is "hopelessness."
And why is there this hopelessness? Because we have forgotten God.
How can this be? In our pursuit of "freedom," some have lost sight of the Creator who has given us the clear parameters to live by. And for many, that "freedom" and "pursuit of happiness" has led to bondage and despair.
On the wall of the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C. are these words from Thomas Jefferson: "God who gave us life gave us liberty. Can the liberties of a nation be secure when we have removed a conviction that these liberties are the gift of God? Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that His justice cannot sleep forever."
The answer for America's problems is not a political one. It is spiritual. We need to turn back to God. Why? Because the real problem is inside of us, and only God can change us!
A news reporter asked a person on the street, "Do you know what the two greatest problems in America are?" The man responded, "I don't know, and I don't care!" "Then you've got both of them!" was the abrupt reply.
We sing, "God bless America, land that I love, stand beside her, and guide her, through the night, with the light from above . . . " We are in that "night" in America right now, and we desperately need that "light" from above.
Not some nebulous, whatever-you-conceive-God-to-be spirituality. We need to turn back to the true and only God.
The same God our Founding Fathers invoked when they established this nation. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The God who gave us Jesus Christ as His Son to die on the Cross in our place. The God who gave us the Bible as our guide and manual for living. The only God who can save America and us as individuals.
The happiness we all seek as Americans can be found not in the pursuit of it, but as the result of pursuing something else, or rather someone else. And that someone is God.
Scripture reminds us, "Happy are the people whose God is the Lord" (Psalm 144:15 NKJV).
May you have a happy and blessed Fourth of July!
