I went back and read some of my older posts and I got motivated. I was so determined to get down to 199. I was really really close but what was funny is that in my posts I would write how tired I was and how my weight had started to be really funky. I would creep up in the weight department (about a pound or so) I thought PCOS was catching up to me and I ultimately ended up finding out I was actually pregnant. It's funny to me because I was SOOO clueless even though all the signs were there. Anyway, I'm NOT pregnant this year and don't plan to be so I want to be in that mindset. The lowest I got was 205.3 which is pretty darn good! I can totally do this. I believe God led me to read those posts as well because I felt like I praised him so much more.
I weighed this morning and I am down 1 pound. Sigh. It's going to take me all week to get these extra pounds off. Well you live and learn. I guess it's a good thing that they are not going to be gone just like that. If they were to just melt off in one day I am sure I would be cheating again. So here's to this week!
Like I mentioned earlier, I need to get the passion for cooking again. I bought the Pita bread from Western Bagels (since I am fortunate enough to have one down the street from my job). I ran to Trader Joe's on my lunch break and got some hummus and Flax seed chips and some salami. I didn't notice that the salami had sugar and corn syrup so I won't be able to eat that. I just figured it didn't have it but it does. I was hungry (which is why I also picked up the hummus). I bought the TJ brand hummus, jalapeno and Cilantro and it wasn't bad. I think I ate too much of it. Well, I don't think I did, I did. The container said 7 servings and I think I might of had like 3 servings. EEK...not too too bad in the carb department but still. I need to tighten that appetite.
Welll.I'm boring myself. The good news also is that we did actually go play tennis last night. We had to wait for a court for like 30 minutes. One girl and her dad were training in one of them and he was pushing her hard. I felt bad for her. She looked really unhappy. But maybe that's what she wants in her life and her dad is helping her accomplish it. Maybe not? I guess we won't ever know. They were still there when we left. I have to keep up the workouts so today I will most likely do the same except I'm going alone. I'm going to invite one of the ladies from church. She likes to work out and she'd be the perfect tennis partner. God bless.
I'm trying to get myself in the mood for cooking again cause I am SO unmotivated. I think I need to think of new foods. Maybe bored with current selection?
Do all ya'll know about Hummus? I didn't (I think this is from being mexican and all) I was never exposed to this yummy delish "dip". I love love love Hummus. I was buying it at Costco but the brand that I like, they only carry when they have these pita chips and right now they don't have them. I've seen others but I am skeptical about buying them. The ingredients seem pretty plain so I have decided to make my own! Here is Emeril Lagase's recipe that I am going to try making tonight! I will let you know how it tastes tomorrow...
Chickpea Spread with Sesame Seed Paste: Hummus bi Tahina
2 cups canned chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 lemon, juiced
2 tablespoons tahini paste
1 tablespoon garlic
1/4 cup olive oil, plus more, for drizzling
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 cup kalamata olives, pitted
Fresh pita bread
In a food processor fitted with a metal blade, combine the chickpeas, lemon juice, tahini paste, and garlic. Process until smooth. With the machine running, add 1/4 cup olive oil, a little at a time. Season with salt and pepper.
Spoon the hummus in the center of a large platter. Drizzle the hummus with olive oil. Arrange the black olives and fresh pita bread around the hummus.
Oh man I feel so grosse since coming back from our trip. My stomach is trippen'. My husband feels it too. I could not believe it when he said "I can't wait to get back to our regular eating". We did try to make wise choices most of the time but we had french fries, twice! I love potatos that's the thing I run to when I'm off my healthy eating. But we shared one serving both times so it's not like we went totally buck wild. My body is telling me that I went buck wild though.....
With much deliberation , I weighed and I'm up 3.5 pounds! I almost fell off my scale but I know that it's a lot of bloat because I especially feel it in my ankles. As expected it was hard to get back on target yesterday. I had the dreaded cravings which were not horrible but still. So it was hard coming back to reality but I'm back! I'm at work today and although it's hard getting up so early to make the drive, I think about what a HUGE blessing it is that I only have to do it once a week! When I'm here I seem to do really well too. It keeps me focused for some reason. They have this health thing going on that the company is paying for. All these counselors have come in to "asses" us. All voluntary of couse. They have you do this workout and they even organized a lunch time power walk thing for all the employees. I think it's a great idea. It's WAY too hot over here though.
Today I want to go play tennis or go for a swim. We'll see what time allows us to do. Alright well I better get to work. I'm weighing in everyday this week so I make sure I work off that excess weight and get back to 232! God Bless.
I'm going to Las Vegas did I tell you? Probably not, I don't exactly announce that to everyone because they equate Vegas with sin. Um...actually I do too. Well I'm not going to Vegas to do crazy things and expect that whatever I do in Vegas stays in Vegas. We are going to the Antique Roadshow!
Here's why.
My sister in law bought and sold a house a few years back and in the attic she found paintings. They are dated 1806 or something so we think they are worth some money. She has never had the money to get them appraised and so when I went to the antique roadshow website and it said say that they were only having like 5 or 6 shows in the entire US. I signed up to get tickets to the closest place to us and that happened to be Las Vegas - AKA Sin City. Like 8 or 9 months later I get the tickets in the mail!
I've been fundraising to go on this trip. Selling bunches of stuff on Ebay which I did pretty well on thank the Lord. It takes lots of time to do that and manage shipping etc. I buy stuff at the open air markets for $.50 or a dollar and sell it on Ebay for $10 or more dollars so I make a little profit after what Ebay charges to list, final value fees plus what paypal charges.
Anyway, yep so I'm going out there and I'm just going to go sight seeing. I've been to Vegas only once and I was pregnant with Alani and was totally miserable (morning sickness) I want to go see all the cool buildings after we get out of the roadshow.
The kids are staying with a babysitter and Alexis. I'm not going to pretend like I'm not worried, I am. I love my kiddos and anything can happen, I just have to pray for the Lord's protection over them.
So me and my husband are going to be alone in the car and on the way there. Weird. It worries me actually. I haven't been alone with him for a while and that's not good. There's a bit of a rift between us....it's been getting bigger and bigger. Especially lately. I think he has been very selfish lately and to be honest I have a lot of recentment toward him for that. I try hard to not feel this way because I constantly feel like disrespecting him and I don't like that. I don't like to be disrespected so why should I do it to him? I know I have many faults and I am sure I've acted selfishly everyday without really realizing it. I've seen how a lot of women treat their husbands and the Lord knows I don't want that creeping in to my family. We just need to hash it out privately. We need to talk about what is bothering both of us. We need to get on the same page about dicipline and what we both expect out of each other. So I'm really happy that we will be able to get this out of the way and handled so we can both be happier. The key really is communication. We just haven't been able to do it or taken the time to do this.
Anyhoo, I started working really early today and got lots of things done and it's 5:39am. I'm going to get my coffee and work for a few more hours.
Oh the whole reason I came on here, besides the whole Vegas trip is to update you all on my weight loss. As of this morning I am at 232.6. Not much of a loss this week :-( It's something considering I am still having my monthly. Sorry you were probably eating huh? If you pray, please pray for traveling mercies for us and that my kids stay safe and happy while we are away. God Bless!
This is the verse I am going to keep close to my heart in case I feel like I'm getting in the flesh while on my trip:
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.
I'm obsessed with Yard Sales right now. This weekend I went on a few and I met the weidest lady ever. This lady was having the yard sale and she came off as wealthy (nice house big HUGE rock of a wedding ring). She came up to me when she noticed I was looking through the boys clothing and told me her life story in like 2 minutes (you know the type of lady I'm talking about right? Just really trusting). Anyway, she said she had a friend that was also a flight attendant and that she was married to this ubber rich guy and was looking for someone to give boy clothes to that would appreciate them (me! me! me!) the only thing that I think came out of my mouth was "Oh??" she continued to give me her friends number and I thought "but what if this other woman is not as friendly and chatter-box-y as her"? I haven't called because I can't seem to get myself to call and say something like "Hi I heard you were giving away boy's clothing". Ok so I won't sound that ghetto but ya know....maybe I'll do it maybe I won't. I've always managed to keep my kids clothed on a very strict budget and always used clothing. I just got Gabriel some cute Gap shorts for 50 cents and Alani some super cute Gap kids pink tennis shoes for $1. So we'll see, free clothes sounds tempting. :-)
This weekend we went out for breakfast and I cheated *very little bit* and it was with potatos so it's not super bad but still. I felt SOOOOOO guilty eating them that I couldn't even enjoy them. All of us picked at our plate and we didn't even eat half of the country style sliced potatoes that are oh so good. I'm glad we felt guilty! But I truly believe we worked it off. We walked ALL day at the outdoor markets and even went fishing in the evening and my husband forgot to pack our chairs. My feet were KILLING me on Sunday morning.
Oh Sunday we were both working in nursery at church in the special needs class, and Carlos, he's blind and is learning how to pronounce his words,he kept immitating my husband and cracking up. He's 5 years old and he has a twin that's also blind but way way more mellow. Carlos is a little fireball. So he made me forget about my aching feet but when I got home I was in such a horredous mood. I don't think I have ever been so mean to my family and I am totally ashamed. Last night after church we sat in our living room and did some of our devotions and when we prayed together I asked God to help me with my temper. I lost it because I just felt overwhelmed at home. Our house is small and I had to keep telling everyone to clean up and it was just not good all the way around. I was a total witch and I don't know if it's PMS or what. I've totally repented and asked God for His help because I can't do this on my own. I need to appreciate my family, our health...just all of the blessing in my life! Anyway, I wrote most of the post above yesterday - I sort of spell checked it but not completely so forgive me and all my typos. I hope that today is another wonderful day. God Bless!
One of my favorite verses!
Isaiah 41:13
"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not, I will help thee"
No matter how much water I drink I am always thirsty. Is that like some sort of medical condition? It never goes away. Maybe I'll google it. Also, not that there are any doctors on here reading this, but my lower back is absolutely killing me when I wake up each morning. Sometimes I can't sleep in because it hurts so bad. My second bed is the couch. I go to my couch to continue my sleep-capades.
My alarm was going off for like 15 minutes this morning and I could not get up to turn it off. I was like why the heck is it going off on SATURDAY??!! Then I remembered, my husband wanted to go fishing early in the morning with me. I feel so totally bad. We went to bed too late though so...I dunno. Maybe we'll go tonight. Sergio's sister will HAVE to watch the baby or something. She's like "do me a favor queen" but when it comes to HER actually doing a favor she's busy or she's was "just running out". I mean like I've mentioned on here before, we never ask her for favors and Serg doesn't like to watch the kids but when things get tough and we need to get out of the house kid-less, I'll turn to her and her answer always seem to sound like thw word "N O". I say "sound" because she never comes out and says NO she's just say, well I'm going to go out for dinner but I'll be back at 11pm if you want me to watch them. Um, we have threee kids, 2 of them are small, do you REALLY think I LEAVE my house at 11pm? Naw. Just thinking about that makes me not want to ask. We'll see, I need to spend some solo time with hubby though. He seems kinda lonely, like he needs some TLC. Now everyone say "AWWWW".
Now onto weight. With some hesitation I weighed myself this AM and I am down to..............drumroll please.........................................233.6!!!! All the glory be to God, He's keeping me going! I always run to take credit but it's not me getting the strength. The Lord knows I want to loose weight and He's helping me chig along. I haven't seen that number since Gabriel was like 2 months old. Can you believe I weighed less after I had a baby than I did recently? I'm like the apposite always, I gain weight after the baby is born. Sad but true. I did that with Alexis and Alani too. You would of thought I would of learned. I was eating like there was no tomorrow. You know what it was too? I was drinking A LOT of soda. I was reading Hungry Girl's website and it was talking about opting to go for a Diet coke or something diet when getting a drink at a fast food place because a large soda like that (regular one) is like 400+ calories!!
So yeah 233.6 - man that means that I will be in the 220's in a little while. I just read last week's post and I was 236.8 but after the pizza cheat I went up to 237.6. So from my original loss I went down 3.2 pounds. That's pretty good for 1 week. I hope I don't hit a plateau anytime soon.
Ok I need to get off this computer and go cuddle with my hubby, I'm going to wake him up and he's going to be mad!!
God Bless.
I was just reading my last post and could not help but chuckle. All my posts have such incorrect grammer. I sound like a total mexican hillbilly....LOL it's ok...it sort of describes my state of mind most of the time. My brain is crammed with information that's rushing to come out all at the same time. In the end, I don't write the things that I wanted to write about. It's cool. Maybe someday I will be a sane person. Maybe some day I will get back to reading actual books, not to mention my bible!
Oh man today I felt A W F U L (yes all caps awful) - I think I had food poisoning or SOMETHING cause man I was in the bathroom all day and I was sweating all day (yeah can you just picture me) I was in my PJ's ALL day long. I had a major migraine to top it all off. I was working at home, at my desk, on my laptop and would have to take mini breaks at my laptop by covering my eyes and basically moaned my way through the day. I'm getting my period again too!! I don't know how you guys can cope with getting a stupid period every 28 days! Man it doesn't even give you an entire month to get over having a period. I'm so totally not use to having one so when I started to feel it coming I yelled "NO WAY"!!!!
Then when I got off work I threw myself on my bed and thought "this totally sucks and I can't believe I feel this crappy and now I'm getting my stupid rag again" but then after that I thought about how my body is starting to function normally now and how COOL that is. That tells you how bad sugar and corn syrup and all that added crap they add to food....Is crap is a bad word? I think it is, it sounds kinda bad. Well I'll use it today but no mas (no more). It just sounds icky.
Did I ever mention that I cussed like a sailor, smoked a lot (A LOT) of weed for years and years and I also did a lot of other drugs. I'm glad I am free from that. The only thing I miss is the weed for some reason. It relaxed me and I am a freak now. I get depressed easily on some days. Sometimes I think I need antidepressants but what I actually need is to get off my butt and work out. A good workout always gets me in such a better mood all day long.
Anyway, I don't know why I went off on that tangent. Maybe because it's late and I should really be in bed. Um...I came on her to talk about something legit....oh yeah, I lost weight. I'm now at 235.3 but since I am going to be bloated like a big fat cow for about 7 days I'm not going to torture myself with weighing myself. I need to get over these stupid chocolate cravings I have been having too. It's getting to my nerves. Sugar free choco I don't think will do the trick but I might have to try it. Well that's it. I might come on her tomorrow to rant some more but I'm sorta busy and I need to catch up with other blogs so till later.
Hey if you read my blog, can you leave me a comment? Maybe I will feel a little bit important. Alrighty, God Bless.
On Saturday night I asked one of our family friends to watch my two small kids and for the first time ever my husband said YES! He doesn't like to leave the kids with anyone so they go everywhere we go pretty much. We went fishing off the rocks on the beach and we had a pretty good time. We ate pizza! We figured that after almost a month we were up for a "treat". We were supposed to have a good workout the next day but who are we kidding. We did't get home until like midnight and we had church the next day which is pretty much an all day thing except for a few hours break which we use to unwind from the morning frenzy.
I weighed myself yesterday even though I didn't want to because I knew I would show a gain and didn't want to get discouraged but at the same time I didn't want to *think* that I could sneak in extra carbs. I was up to 237.6 which is almost a pound gain but I know it's all bloat from the pizza because I've felt totally swollen since Sunday. We got off our butts yesterday and went to play tennis. I insisted on going to Wilson high school to play because their courts are better but they were full and we had to wait for a court AND they were not lit courts so once it got a little dark it was hard to see the ball. Overall we had a good workout but Gabriel kept bugging out and I didn't know what he wanted till we got home. Poor kid was totally pooped. Felt bad. Tonight is soul winning so I am going to hopefully run home and go the gym for a workout. I am SO tired today! I didn't get to bed till 10:30 last night and my alarm went off at 3:15 this morning. So I've been dragging ever since. We have Starbucks coffee here at work so I'm about to hit my second cup of coffee now.
I still need a better workout plan...tis working out spontaneously thing is not working well! I need to FEEL like I am burning fat because of a good workout! What I need to do is stick to a plan and quit chickening out. Like today I said I am going to go home, get the kids clothes layed out and ready for church tonight, I have dinner planned, change, run to gym, come back eat dinner and get ready to head out the door to church. Realistic? Maybe not but we'll give it a go. God Bless.
It's Saturday and I'm barely awake.....but here I am. I kept forgetting to weigh myself this week early enough to get an accurate weight on myself. The scale this morning 236.8. I thought to myself "What's up with the .8's"? My start weight was 248.8 then the other day my weight was 238.8...anyway you get my drift...sorry, like I said, I'm still half asleep. I wanted to go do all this stuff today but we have a nursery workers meeting at church that I hope goes fast. We're not going to have lunch there so that's a good thing. No temptation to eat stuff we're not supposed to.
Yesterday I had sort of a weird day. I took my lunch early and went to my appointment to the DMV. I gave Leah, one of the single mom's from church a car. I loved my car. It's a 1996 Grand Am but since we have a mini van and the GMC we didn't really need it and she was taking the bus everywhere. There were a few people at church that needed a car, but the Lord but it on my heart to give it to her. It has a few parts that need replacing and she's working on it so I needed to get moving/driving permit extended. On the way home (she drove) I saw her gas meter and I pumped $10 into her car. I know she doesn't have ANY money right now and we have church activities going on all weekend starting yesterday. I'm broke too but I figured that was something God wanted me to help her with.
Alrighty well I want to run out and have some fun today. Bike riding maybe and just being outdoors enjoying this life on Earth! So have a blessed one...and I'll come on here and talk about some weight loss stuff later. I need to put a menu together for the week since I think I have plenty of food to make them. God bless.
It's been a whole week since I've blogged. I need to start posting my weight loss because writing stuff down in a notebook and keeping it a "secret" is bugging me. I had lunch with Florence yesterday (friend and also co-worker) and I told her what I had gotten up to......I was up to 248.8, yep my bootay was so close to 250...whoa.
I'm now down to 237.8 so I've lost a little over 10 pounds since July 11th. It's officially 3 weeks today. For some reason I thought it had been 5 weeks! LOL. I was starting to think it was taking more time than I thought to loose the bulge but I think that 10+ pounds is pretty darn good! PLUS I'm not going to be loosing so much all the time...need to keep telling myself this! Isn't it crazy what cutting out things with sugar, corn syrup and all these starches will do? I still enjoy lots of yummy foods so I was skeptical...but it's working and the Fam makes their own snacks now which helps me stress a little less. They are learning what to eat and what not to eat. My husband got his lunch and breakfast together today without my help...
Today I am hitting the gym. The thing that sucks is that I am SO totally motivated in the morning but once the afternoon hits my motivation is like non existent so I need to really work on that. I can so totally be loosing more, especially later when I will NEED to work out to loose some weight. I'm still really busy at work so I must go. Till later. God Bless.
So today I wake up and actually feel my bulgin' belly feel a bit smaller and so I decided to jump on the scale. From yesterday I show a 1.6 pound loss. I actually just had to double check that because it was hard to believe. I am so super tired and haven't worked out but today I am going to make a bee-line to the gym and have me a good work out. I totally cleaned house yesterday and my husband did lots of laundry. I have like 3 huge drawer full of just tops and they were an absolute mess so I got those straightened out. Most of those tops I will not get to wear until I hit the 20 pound mark loss so I can't wait. I think I've lost a total of 8 or 9 pounds by now...need to go back and check my actual start weight. Tomorrow is week 3.
I need to wake up Alexis is a few minutes so she can start getting ready to go to the Youth Conference. She needs to pack some snacks for herself. Yesterday she took some but being the generous soul that she is, she shared and apparantly everyone and their mom was starving so everyone took from her low carb stash and left her with little. I would of probably done the same but she needs to eat her snacks on the downlow. Those girls can just walk on up to ANY vending machine and get their fix. There is nothing low carb in those machines for Alexis.
So tonight I have church so I need to make dinner during my lunch break and take 20 minute power walks with Grabriel or Alani during my breaks. So we will see today how it works out.Ok well ta ta, off to make some morning coffee. God Bless.
So from Thursday to Monday I lost another pound which is cool. Even though I should be happy I am always disappointed. I don't know what I expect...I guess I expect to see "165" on the scale but I see "that other weight" which I am too embarrased to post at this time. I promise when I hit the 20 pound loss mark I will reveal the number.
Alexis is continuing to do well. My husband is sneaking in sugars slowly...and I don't want to nag him but he's SO totally and utterly clueless so I kindly reminded him that sugars are a no no, no matter the small amounts he's using. He said he was just waiting for me to say something...I thought "why wait dude"? Apparantly he just can't get used to other sweetening methods. So whatever. He's still loosing though which is a great but if he was to cut out that sugar all together then he'd be in a much better place. Reminding him is as much as I will do. I refuse to nag him because he gets frustrated very easily and he is his mothers son. Their entire family lives on the edge of loosing it. He was the worst, attitude wise, and now he seems to keep his cool much better than they do but he still looses it "quietly" but I can tell he's about to burst with anger sometimes. He checks himself though and many times realizes that it's something that's not really a big deal.
So today I am walking with some co-workers to Costco. I have no lettuce (gasp!) and I also need to hopefully buy some 1/2 and 1/2 if they have it. Oh I need eggs too..we go through eggs like crazy. I need my low carb tortillas too...price to pay when you are mexican is ya need some sort of tortilla in your life....yes it's like no mustard on your corndog, no cheese on your pizza, no ketchup on your fries, ok you get it....wow these are all junkfoods! Cravings anyone?
Ok what else? SO busy at work so I should really go...I'll come back tomorrow and talk about nothingness :-) God Bless.
You know what's SO funny everyone at work is like "Happy Friday! Happy Friday" so I kinda go along with it...but the weekend for me is crazyness! My days return to normal when I return to work on Monday. Yes, I'm the one that says "Happy Monday" and people look at me with darting eyes.
I went to church last night and I loved the message! It talked about how we go to church, we get involved in everything at church but just because we dress right, speak right, etc. doesn't mean we are going in the right direction. It's true! We are so judgemental towards people that "don't dress right" or "speak right" and you know what? They might be closer to God and going in the right direction than someone that's a Sunday school teacher. I haven't read my bible all week. I haven't spent enough dedicated time with the Lord but I am sure one of the ladies in my group in the RU group meeting tonight has. So that message really spoke to me and I realized that I truly do need to get to it. God works out everything for me, He really does.
On to weight stuff...haven't weighed myself but I can still feel like my eating habits are doing it's trick. Alexis's belly is shrinking dramatically and I am curious to see how much weight she's dropped but I'm not going to suggest that she weighs herself cause I don't want her to feel that pressure that sooooo many girls feel. We went grocery shopping last night and my husband commented on how much more stuff we use to get for the same amount of money or less. I said YEP but it's all junk!! I went through the grocery store "specials" in the paper and everything that was on sale were Pop Tarts, Chips, cookies, etc. Nothing healthy.
Ok well I gotta get back to work so I can sign off for the day and start getting ready for Reformers Unanimous tonight. I want to get some type of lesson together for the ladies I counsel in my group. There are some tough ladies in there so I need to be more prepared. Till later, God Bless.
What I mean is I've seen some really great progress in my husband....actually in me too attitude wise. His attitude has improved 100% and I actually think he's enjoying the energy he's been having lately too. This morning I made him some breakfast and I asked him to buy lunch because I was too tired and I had to start working (working from home). He's going to get a protein burger.
Yesterday the bosses at his work brought in tons of donuts and he said he HAD to have a little piece but I think it was more like peer pressure...nobody actually pressured him but he felt oligated to play it off like he eats donuts like the other men...Junk food is a stable food amoungst his peers and you stand out if you don't join in.
I've felt like that at work and I've felt resentful towards people that refused to join in on potlucks because they've been watching what they were eating. But I know that those feelings of resentment where just because I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THEM, eating healthy and passing up the goods.
Last night the hubby and I discussed switching to ONLY organic foods. They are so super expensive though (especially the meat) so we will see how that goes. It's not like I have tons of money to toss around. Maybe now that we are saving money on eating out we can afford better quality food.
Alexis and I went to the gym last night. She went into the pool because she's not allowed in the gym area yet. I walked on the treadmil but was eager to get to the pool. I haven't gone for a swin because I always feel intimidated. Too many people so I don't go swimming. We went late last night so there were hardly any people there. So I think we will be doing that more often.
Well I think that's it. Need to go grocery shopping again and tonight we have church so I will need to handle that today after I get off work. Maybe I will take the kids to the duck pond or somewhere.
Alright till later. God bless.
I really should not be counting....but I am. It's been one week and I am down almost 6 pounds. That weight loss made a little bit of a dent in the weight I need to loose. I need to get all the "extra" fat off of me before I even start seeing any results. Right now I still look fat but I am not as uncomfortable as I was a week ago. Seriously. I was buldging. The Fam feels the same.
I had a talk with hubby and he's being much nicer and complimentary about everything. He realized (by actually paying attention) of all the work that eating right entails. I am getting use to cooking and I had them bookmark recipes from the 15-Minute Low Carb recipe book. Lots of REALLY good recipes and they don't have weird ingredients that require you to look everywhere under the sun to find. I mean low carb foods in general require you to run around like a mad woman to find. Till I find a closer store that is. I live in Southern California and we just want everything handed to us...which is why we're so FAT! Anyway, gas is expensive and time is not something I have to waste. Mom is needed darn it. I read Beck's blog the other day (requires you to have log in and password to read which is why I am not linking her site on this blog entry) but she talked about how feeling needed makes you feel good. I was thiking to myself is this true about me? In a sense it is but then again it's not. I mean I would feel sad if my family did not NEED me at all....but all the NEED I am experiencing at the moment in my household is definitely unwanted. Really.
Ok so anyway, I have lots of work so I need to make this entry brief (again) - so weight loss good so far. I think I need to cut more fat out of our diet though. I have been using margerine and I guess I need to use Butter. So I need to run and get expesive butter cause expensive it is! So the goal for the week is to try to minimize the fat a bit, get some EVOO cause the one I have in my cabinet is too thick. What else? OH work out more! Tonight we are all heading to the gym. Gonna see about playing basketball with the FAM, the gym has basketballs, then I will head up to the treadmill or bike for 40 minutes and they can all go swimming...sounds like a plan. Oh I am totally taking my meds now and I feel so much better. I took my meds before I left work yesterday and I almost fell asleep on the way home (driving...yikes!). God bless.
I have been eating this Flax seed oatmeal-like hot cereal in the morning and man is it good!!! There is a strawberries and cream that I totally need to get. The bad thing is that it's like $6.99 - that's what sucks about eating low carb - everything is flippen expensive. The Falx seed chips are good too but they are almost $4 a bag. Anyway I guess it keeps us from eating too many. I'm the only one that eats the hot cereal..for now anyway. I think as time passes and The fam forgets what real oatmeal tastes like, they will give this flax meal hot cereal a try and will like it. My taste buds are more accepting of "different" foods. 1/2 a cut of this stuff (dry) which makes about 1 cup once you add water and Half & Half is 2 Net carbs. Not so bad huh? I added a 1/2 banana and some Equal and it was bomb.
I don't have to much time to journal today but I did want to come on here and mention that although I may be spending more time buying healthier food (or low carb foods) we have only eaten out ONCE in one whole week and that alone has probably made us break even on the money we WOULD of spent eating out or saved us some money. We had Protein burgers from In-N-Out and they were very good. No fries thank you. Maybe we'll go out to eat to TFI Friday's cause they have low carb friendly foods...Anyway, I have a meeting in like 4 minutes so I gotta go.
Oh I am also not going to log my foods in the calorie counter thing-a-ma-bob cause it does not remove the fiber from the carbs so it makes it look like i have tons of carbs eaten for the day. So I am going to journal my foods manually....
ok till later. God Bless.
Can you believe it?...it actually all began on Tuesday. I had a sit down with "The Fam", when I say The Fam I mean husband & Alexis (Alani and Gabriel are too young to understand so they don't count right now but are being involuntarily included in the talk). ANYWAY, we talked about how we are all fatter than ever and that we needed to do something about it. I heard "well why don't you just do this"? I can't because #1 - I am not the only fat one #2 - I can't sit there and cook 2 different types of foods all the time A) it's not fair to me and B) I can't deal with giving them unhealthy food and then turn around and make something nice and healthy for me.
There are many other reasons...I don't want Alani & Gabrield to struggle with being overweight. Why not take care of it now. Alexis is going to be 11 and man she's been going strong! The first day she was getting to my nerves...talking about "oh we won't be able to eat this and that..bla bla" so I said ENOUGH! She was really good until today, she had a piece of wheat toast with her breakfast but she's young and I read how she's allowed more foods into her diet. It's not going to be an everyday thing or even two servings of bread per day. She is only 11 but weights what a 17 year old weighs. Too much..
Anyway the problem child at the moment is my husband. He's NEVER EVER eaten healthy and he claims to have super bad stomach cramps and pains. I told him I don't know HOW healthy food can have this affect on you and he's like "I dunno". Everyday I bust my butt to make good breakfasts, lunches and dinners and when I ask them "how was it" Alexis always loves it (that girl is hungry all the time and easy to please) him, not so much. I am getting REALLY frustrated with him. I dunno what else to do. Just let him eat what he wants? I think I am at the point where I am ready to do that...It's wearing me down....like the whole dissapointment on his part you know? I have worked SO SO SO SO SO hard on planning this whole thing. Every spare minute that I have I spend researching articles that would be helpful to us, reading up on childhood obesity and looking up recipes for me to make. I cleaned out our cabinets got rid of everything that has corn syrup and sugar in them and yesterday I cleaned out the refrigerator (I lagged on cleaning fridge a bit). There are still some things that I have but they are for Alani that I'm allowing her to have sometimes like strawberry syrup in her milk, ramen noodle soup so she can eat on her picky eating day which she has sometimes..grocery shopping like crazy at like 50 different stores because they all carry one healthy product I am looking for but not another. Madness. Anyway today my mood is weird. I felt discourange and sad a little bit cause of my husband but then again he's not AS BAD as I thought he would be. Not sure what to expect/think/get over. I will have a talk with him today and let him decide. Till later..God bless.
Just know when I avoid posting, I'm still shoving my face with food that I should not be eating. I am so feeling it. More so than the last time I posted. You would of thought that me weighing myself would've left me in utter shock but it didn't. Instead I was like "OH it's not AS BAD as I thought". Such a sicko...ok but now my friends, my stomach is super fat. My fat clothes are getting "filled in". When I sit I have serious back fat. I look so disgusting right now it's not even funny.
The most progress I have made is taking the yellow tail tuna that my husband brought back from his fishing trip out of the freezer. That was yesterday. Instead of baking the tuna though you know what I did? I made these cookies by Paula Deen - Oatmeal coconut chocolate cookies. I brought them to work though so they would eat them. I can't afford to eat many of these. I can't afford to eat anything fattening that's for sure. I think working from home has done this to me. I just snack here and there and it's killing me!
I feel incredibly guilty too for the way I have been feeding the family. I've been baking like a mad woman and feeding them lots of mexican soul food. Yesterday Alexis threw on dress I bought her back in December and it's tight. She didn't think so but I could tell she's gaining weight and it's my fault. :-(
I've been letting Alani snack on junk food too much too. I tried to cut up and apple the other day and give it to her instead of giving her a snack zip lock bag of chips or some other fried something-or-other and she refused the apple!! She LOVES fruit and veggies. So that was like a slap in the face saying "See looks what you are doing"!!! So it is with not so great pleasure that I put together a healthy eating and excercise for the family TODAY! We are going camping from Sunday to Tuesday and I was just thinking well it won't be the healthiest of eating....but WHY NOT!? Why not take fruit and veggies to snack on. Why would I need to take chips and cookies instead? I've brainwashed myself quite a bit and it's very irritating.
Today I start my meds again and my water drinking like crazy to help with my non-stop hunger/cravings. It's B A D right now for me. I know that Sergio can tell too. He knows how disappointed in myself too. He can see I am not happy. I have SO many cute clothes and I can't fit into ANY of them right now.
Ok well no more whining it's seriously time for action. So I will need to put together a menu, snacks included. I was going to say snacks and drinks included but I am going to aim to WATER. I am going to encourage water drinking to all in my family including Alani. I will buy SOME diet drinks though when we have our meals.
Anyhoo, if you got through this rambling post, congrats. God bless!
is just flying by.....Some people worry about making their mark here on earth. Like they want to be remembered by something they did. I don't think I care much about that or do I? So many thing I think about daily. So many people I want to help and I wish I had the money to help so many needy people. So many girls without mothers looking for motherly love and so many boys that need fathers where I wish my husband had the time to be a father to them. Why do I think about this stuff so much? Is this what makes me stress out? Not really sure, wondering where all this is coming from? Me too.
I feel like fed up today. I have been feeling like that lately....fed up about how fat I am. I am just waiting for someone to ask me how many months pregnant I am. I feel THAT fat and I am sure I look that fat.I know that if I was to look at a picture of myself right now I would be like "I had NO idea it was THAT bad"!! But I really do...but then I talk myself into thinking "I'm not that fat"...anyway...enough. And I obvioiusly have had enought. My size 16 clothes? Tight. Very tight. In fact the very few size 18 clothes that I had stuffed in the back of my closet and drawers have suddenly made an appearance and have been getting washed over and over again...I looked at myself in the mirror and just knew I had to get serious. The good thing is this is where I draw the line and I know I won't myself get bigger than an 18. Because I am tall I can play the size 16 off but the 18/20...Not so much. I am heading to costco today at lunch to buy salmon. I am doing the salad/salmon lunch and dinner to clean out my system and LOTS and LOTS of water. I did get some diet cherry 7-up so I eat with my meals though so that will be a treat. I also need to run out and get some protein bars so I don't binge eat...cause I go through some serious withdrawals when I stop the junk eating.
All in all....I am happy about this...happy that I am finally at the point where I am putting a stop to it. The next few days I expect to be a bit depressed as it does happen...but I need to remember that it's temporary. Crazy how food has this affect on people. Scary. Well I will be back this week to chat about other things like The Lord our God, my beautiful kids and husband which I adore. :-) God bless!
I want to work out. I really do. I don't want to keep eating junk. I really don't. I felt like crud most of the time. Did you know that I have even thought that I am depressed and need to get on depression medication. I am so up and down and I don't know why. I don't know why I feel sad when I'm sad and I have read and heard that this is called depression. BUT these past couple of weeks at church, it's so weird, ALL of the preachers have talked about how everyone runs to depression medications when they are feeling down. How we have all of our kids on meds at the first sign of trouble. So I am resisting and I believe that my "down" times are related to me eating junk. I truly do think that foods with all those hormones, sugar and who knows what else can cause instability to ones mind. So I am going to the gym for the very first time in like 2 months tomorrow morning. I am going to clean out my system by doing my protein days and fighting HARD to do Lindora. Once I am on it I talk myself out of WHY I should NOT do it........so I am going to try and pray. A LOT. If you pray, pray for me (yes again).
Work sucks at the moment. Management. I have to get a note from my Dr. in order for them to approve my 3 days working at home. My Dr. read the questions they typed up for him and he said "why are they asking this? It's none of their business". I said I know but I need you to help me with this letter or I will have to continue this commute until I get another job closer to home. Then I find out yesterday that we are moving buildings. They could not renew the lease or something. Very weird...but Ok maybe it will be closer to my house. Doubt it though. Seriously. They have mapped out where everyone lives and will "try" to reduce commute times for everyone. We will know by middle of next month (where we will be moving to) and move by Mid January 2008. Hm...things are interesting and weird around here. Anyway, I have to get to work cause I have been really busy this week. Till later, God Bless.
"to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to keep His commandments, to hold fast to Him, and to serve Him with all of your heart and will all of your soul"
Joshua 22:5
