I went to workout yesterday after I got off work and it felt great! I can't wait to get some of this excess weight off of me so I can get the courage to use the exercise ball and some other cool stuff they have. Right now I am working on just cardio although I will start some strengthening workouts next week possibly even tomorrow Saturday. I'll go early so I don't flake out on doing some of those workouts.
Eating has been pretty good. I still think I snack too much and I am going to log my foods on Fitday right now to get a reality check. The food I pre-cooked the other day came in handy last night. I didn't have time to cook so I whipped out some frozen veggies and steamed them and heated up the chicken. I made a spring salad (salad is chopped and washed already) and made my own dressing with olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette. My husband even liked it! Lauren was here yesterday, she got sent home from school cause her shirt was too tight. She has big boobs for a 15 year old and they tend to be a bit sensitive to what she wears. She does it on purpose though cause she knows what clothes make her boobs stand out and the shirt that she had on yesterday was one of them. On the other hand though I understand where she's coming from. You can't wear a cute shirt without looking like you're trying to flaunt them. But oh well that's the life of a big breasted girl.
One of my good buds is having some marital problems and I feel for her because of the pain and suffering that one goes through during this difficult time. If I have any praying readers will you pray for her and her husband? We all have ups and downs in our marriages and it's just plain hard.
My marriage overall is great even though I have been complaining about my husband so much lately. I don't know if I am just extra sensitive because I started my monthly on Saturday. I mean the things that we go through are pitiful things. It's more like bickering and childish fights. I say that because we have gone THROUGH IT in the past. Our church actually saved us from divorce and is probably the reason why we are still married after 10 years. The things we have learned there took the attention off some of the happiness we expected to get out of this world but never found. Just when you think you have it all, you'll notice, there's something missing. That something is not materialistic either. Some people don't believe in God, but I on the other hand think He is THE almighty, like John 8:12 says "Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life."
As I went to the alter yesterday at church, I prayed that He forgive me for not putting Him first in my life like I should have. We ask God to do things for us and to help us through this and that and we haven't felt His presense because we have not sanctified ourselves. We are so filthy in our lives, we are so involved with the things of this WORLD that we don't realize when God's trying to speak to us. I am going to start listening. I need Him now in my life more than ever and I hcan only pray that He shows up. God Bless.
Gosh I was so overwhelmed today! I had to make breakfast and lunch this morning before my daughter went to school. She took salmon for lunch and apparantly changed her mind about liking it. Too fishy for her I guess. I wanted to make some crab cakes but I need to find a good recipe. I think she'll like those.
I am busy at work too and it's just nuts all around. I am going to the gym today for a while so I can't wait. I need to wait for my husband to come home though at around 3:30 and I will be ready to go once he get's here. I am going to cook dinner on my lunch break so that will be handled. Tomorrow is church so I need to be prepared early in the day.
I watched biggest loser last night and I felt so bad for them because a lot of them didn't loose that much weight. I knew that the couple that got eliminated where going to go because they seemed very determined to loose the weight regardless of what was going to happen. You can see how hard it is for them to leave their little one's behind. It's almost a treat to be able to come home and loose weight with your loved ones around you.
Well I guess that's it for now. God bless.
I'm at work today and I walked in to a brand new flat screen....nice! I love my job. They are so fricken nice to me. They let me work from the comfort of my own home and they like me!! I haven't been here for like 3 weeks though because the holidays were landing on Tuesdays which is the day I am supposed to come in. My boss didn't require me to come in any of the other days so that worked out nicely. I like to come in once in a while.
I can't tell you how different I feel! I can't. My attitude after this fast has changed 100000%. It's like the negative and depressing ME was flushed away down the toilet (excuse the pun)! It may rear it's ugly head later but for now I feel positive and I am going to continue to tell myself that I can do this. I am a good person that deserves to look the way I've only dared to dream about my entire life!
This season I am watching the bigest loser like many other people and I have my husband hooked too. He's getting inspired by it all. He sees the really big guys on there loosing the weight and although they are in a different atmosphere where all they think about is loosing weight and they have like hours upon hours dedicated to working out, we can loose at least a quarter of the weight they are loosing on the show. Instead of spending so much time glued to the TV, we can spend that time doing active things. That includes making more time to read our bible.
So I did two things yesterday. My job has this healthy gig thing going. Counselors come in and try and help you loose weight ot get healthy if you are at ideal weight. They help you set a healthy goal and they have this 1:1 coaching too. They have Yoga classes in the building! They have a walking club AND they give you gift cards for joining and working out during the month! They've been sending those e-mails to us for months and months and when I got one yesterday my eyes were opened and I thought "why don't you JOIN one of them"? So I did!! I've joining the walking club on Tuesdays at noon. How spesh is that? For extra money on my gift card, I can journal my workouts and my dietary intake so the counselors can help you modify any if needed. Wow..I'm taken aback.
The second thing I did was sign up for The Bigest loser blog thing-a-ma bob. The nation loosing weight thing....yeah that. I signed me and my hubby up. I'm going to be blogging on there so I can stay in the race. Who knows maybe they have some special prize. That would be nice.
Anyway, what else is up? Oh I was out and about running errands after I picked my daughter up from school and dropped her off at home so she could do her homework and she calls me and says "Mom I am ready to start tomorrow" and I asked her what she meant and she continued "I was buttoning up my school shirt this morning, and remember how it was really loose on me when we started to loose weight?....well it's TIGHT on me now and I'm not comfortable like this so I want to start healthy eating tomorrow" and I told her I was glad she made that decision on her own and I would be there to help her along.
All in all it's been a great week to start. Many people are excited like me and they say that statistic show that 80% of people make resolutions and only 20% accomplish their goal. I am going to be that 20%, me and my family anyway. God bless.
Yes I am ending the fast today. I don't know what happened to my body yesterday but I was extremely weak! I kept dropping stuff (including the maple syrup all over my kitchen floor, yes the expensive maple syrup!) and I debated all day whether I should quit. I asked my family to go with me for a walk to the park. It was on the verge or raining so we hurried and got dressed in warm clothes and took about a mile walk. My son was bored beyond belief in the house so it was a good idea to get out of the house. I felt a bit better when we got back. I took a nice hot long shower and relaxed. I started to feel a bit more dizzy as the day went on though even though I was drinking my lemonade drink AND I had not gone to the bathroom AT ALL.
I got a phone call from a family friend from church and she organized a ladies get together at her house (which included food) I told her I would try to make it because at this point I felt super dizzy. But I decided to go because the ladies in my RU group would be there and I didn't want to feel guilty about not going. PLUS, I got to get out of the house for a few hours. By then I decided it was time to end my fast. I wasn't plannin on eating there so I bought a veggie soup at the market next to her house.
I had a good time but I was still dizzy. It was so bad at some point I kept loosing my balance. I did have some spinach salad and a taquito and I was scared all the way home on how my stomach was going to handle it. Well the spinach salad came back up. It felt like it was in my throat the whole time. Anyway, I drank my laxative tea this morning to get the last of whatever is old in my stomach.
I've felt really on the edge lately. I've been snapping at my husband so much about things these past few days (I wrote about one instance from Friday). I know I am MOM and MOM handles lots of things and I can but sometimes it would be nice if I got some help! I do everything on Sunday mornings from ironing, breakfast (feed Gabriel also), cleaning, getting kids ready for church (which includes, hair combing, socks, shoes, teeth brushing, face cleaning), Buttoning husbands top shirt button, fixing collar....then there's ME. I know I am feeling sorry for myself and I shouldn't but I will sulk for now....anyway, I called my husband ungrateful this morning. He got mad, I walked out and didn't go to church with them. I know it's really childish of me but at the time I was REALLY mad. I convinced myself that darn it I should be mad, I got home from my ladies get together yesterday and the sink was piled high with dishes which I didn't do till now....and boy was I mad washing them.
Anyway, I gotta start slow with my eating but I ate an english muffin and a piece of bacon for breakfast. My stomach is feeling it right now. Alright well tomorrow I start a low carb diet AND my two hour a day workouts. WHICH I WILL DO. I will do it. I am NOT going to come on here and give excuses on WHY I didn't do it. I want to get out of this fat body ASAP. I am sick and tired of being fat already. There are no excuses whatsoever anymore. Can you tell I am still mad? LOL....Ok cheering up now.
God bless.
I am definitely in toxin removal mode I can tell ya that much. It was the worst day to be out and about yesterday too but I had to still how up for my RU group of ladies. I was NOT feeling it though because I was freezing cold and my stomach was just messed up. I had to keep going to the bathroom and it was pouring rain. I usually get home at around 10:30pm. Because we only took one car and my husband shuttles the folks with no car home, I had to wait for him in the auditorium with my kids, running around being crazy and all I wanted to do was come home. I will never go in one car with him. It took way too long and it caused some friction between him and I last night. I didn't have enough of my drink so my sugar was already low and I got upset with him because he can't have a normal discussion without getting defensive so I went to bed. The result? A massive, low blood sugar, brain hurtin' headache. It hurt! I feel so dehydrated this morning too. The first thing I did was hook me up some of my special drink. I feel better.
It's still kinda early for a Saturday but I am going to work a few hours today because I got REALLY busy at work yesterday. Well I have to work so gotta go. I'm sure I will be back later. God Bless for now.
I was hungry all day yesterday and at night I felt so super sick. I felt like I was getting a cold. I am going to be entering a stage of purging toxins from my body so I may feel all of these symptoms randomly throughout the day. The one thing that has not left me are the headaches. I've had at least one a day. Today I didn't wake up with one though. But I am sure I will have one later in the day.
I've been trying not to stress although yesterday late morning I felt like a madwoman. I was just MAD. I was just waiting from someone to say something crazy to me so I can chop their head off. I calmed down after recognizing this. I told Serg I wasn't in a very good mood and he made me feel better.
Went to church last night and felt ok. My stomach was making all sorts of noises though and I am glad I took some water with me to drink.
**Grosse section**
I am still getting rid of solids and I have officially not had any food for 5 days! I get stomach cramps galore when I wake up but immediately feel so much better when I'm done. I am still craving food. Like I am dying for some home made hot wings. But MOST of all I am craving a veggie sandwich with alfalfa sprouts. I found a delish recipe and am posting it on here so I can come back when I am cleared to eat solids again (I think on day 13 or so). I also want some hummus REALLY bad. I went to the farmer's market this past weekend and had a taste of some organic jalapeno and cilantro hummus. At first I thought it was a little expensive but when I really thought about it, it was not bad, $4 for a small container. I've found that with hummus it's really hit and miss when it comes to taste with many brands. So far the only one I've liked is the one from Costco but they don't carry the brand I like anymore!! The other one is the one from Trader Joe's and that one was about $4 and half the size of the one from the farmer's market. I wanted to go back this weekend to get them but it's supposed to rain and rain for days starting today AND my first day to eat solids won't be until next Saturday *sigh*. So I won't be going back to get my fix for another week.
Here is the recipe
Cucumber Sprout Sandwich
Ingredients
2 slices whole wheat bread
2 tbs. cream cheese, softened (I'm going to add hummus instead)
6 slices peeled cucumber
2 tbs. alfalfa sprouts
1 tsp. olive oil
1 tsp. red wine vinegar
1 tomato, sliced
1 romaine (cos) lettuce leaf
2 tbs. pepperoncini, sliced
1/2 avocado, peeled and mashed
salt and pepper to taste
I think I am going to add an evening post daily. Most of the time, my mood changes by the time I am done with this post! I am such a rollercoaster, from feelings, to body changes, to everything else. Anyway, hope you have a blessed day.
Whew...seems like the days are sort of dragging. Today feels like Day 5 and not 4. The rest of yesterday was ok. I was sort of hungry yesterday and I was reading that when you get hungry to take SIPS of the lemonade drink and not drink the whole thing at once, which I was doing. I found that it worked! I got hunger pangs and I took a sip and that did the trick for at least 1/2 an hour. I just drank the drink for about and hour and a half and I found that I drank a lot less. I can have up to 12 8 oz drinks of it but if you are trying to loose weight in addition to the cleanse you have to restrict that a bit. But I do have to drink at least 6 of the drink.
I found that when my nose smells food or is around food my body automatically starts to get hungry. I had to cook dinner, not once but TWICE yesterday and it was a bit hard. Just automatically putting stuff in your mouth without thinking is hard. I even made cookies to torture myself a little more. He he he. I had to make dinner for one of the ladies at our church that had a miscarriage. All the ladies are taking her dinner all week long and it was my turn yesterday. I made her some yummy spaghetti, garlic bread and my special cookies. The garlic bread smell is what was getting to me. I LOVE garlic bread. Smells delish. Anyway, I then made the SAME thing again for my family. I haven't been sitting with them at the table which is hard! We're use to eating dinner together every night and Alani keeps asking me why I'm not sitting with them at the table.
I can't wait to be done because of that. I hope the days fly by. Today is supposed to be another hard day. I'm taking today off to run some errands and get some laundry done. The only one up at this point is Gabriel.SO anyway, hopefully today is not hard. I am going to try and be out and about so I don't think about food 24-7.
My sister in law lives next to me and she has a big back yard and she's moving to Arizona so we are hoping that we can move into that house so we can hook up the back yard! Remeber I mentioned planting out own garden? Well that would be ideal. Then in the summer spending time back there would be SO great! So we will see. :-)
I'm still alive..just kidding! Of course I'm still alive. Just reading my post from yesterday reminds me of that horrible headache. I actually woke up with another one and had to take another exedrin. I don't know how this is going to affect my fast but I hope it's not in a bad way. I just can't take the headaches. They are not regular headaches, they are migraines and they keep escalating to an unbearable point and I can't take it. They get so bad that I start to feel like I am going to throw up.
I was in bed and sitting for a LOOOONG time yesterday. I did what I had to do at home and went to sleep while my daughter and husband went grocery shopping. I made them chili cheese hot dogs for lunch and fed my little one. I slept for about 2 hours.
My husband mentioned how much sleep I've been getting since I started this fast and it's TRUE! Remember I complained about how bad my sleep was getting? Well it's much improved and my nasal passages are SUPER clear. I just took and deep breathe right now and I can't tell you the difference!
I still miss eating food. I miss chewing I think and snacking on stuff. I keep trying to convince myself that I don't need this detox and I can just eat low carb. But I realized yesterday I would not of appreciated doing low carb if I wasn't doing this fast. I know that after slowly getting off I will appreciate food so much more!
I haven't weighed myself and I don't think I am going to until I am done. I will see if I can go longer than the 10 days but I am so totally looking forward to eating a nice bowl of hot soup next week. So we'll see. I might just keep chugging along. I am sure if I see nice weight loss results I will continue until I get off the super extra fat I have on my body. Today we are going to go for a walk at the Nature Center. Basically it's like a light hike through a forest in the middle of the city. You see all sorts of herbs, plants and animals. It's really nice. I need to get walking. I haven't done much since I started due to the headaches and feeling a bit weak. Today I feel MUCH better! The drink it totally keeping me satisfied when it comes to hunger.
So here's to Day 4. God Bless.
All I can say today is UGH! I feel like pure poop. I have a migraine that goes and comes. I did the salt water flush this morning instead of the herbal laxative tea drink because I wanted to have the morning "clean out" quickly. I took a hot bath and instantly felt better but this stupid migraine came back.
I guess since your body is ridding itself of all these toxins I've gotten the 3 things I've been getting hit with the past 2 months. #1 - Migraines #2 - sore throat #3 - tooth ache. I kid ya not.
So needless to say I am not feeling so hot today. I pray that this passes and I can move on with my cleanse. One great thing is my back is not absolutely killing me anymore which was the #1 symptom to go away so I guess that's one good thing. The migraine just throws a wrench it in though. Makes me want to give up and I really don't want to. So I am going to drink some water, some cleanse stuff (it's really good) and put my head down to rest in my room away from my kids. I guess it doesn't help that I have to clean the house, cook and take care of kids while I am going through this. I am trying not to sweat the small stuff though so we'll see what happens. Alrighty, Happy New Year and God Bless.
I am finally starting the cleanse! I had to get the book (and read it), the right ingredients which are really important for it's success and the right mindset. I decided to wait until after the holidays because it was just going to be too hard. My mom would of driven me absolutely nuts for one. I attempted to start yesterday but I did a bad job at preparing. I didn't drink my laxative tea the night before and I didn't drink it again in the morning so your system can get rid of all the extra extra junk in our body. Oh and I woke up with a migraine which went away with 2exedrins in the morning but the headache returned later while at church and that's when it hit me HARD!! I had to come home, take 2 more exedrins and eat something with them (can't take them on empty stomach). SO...in the longrun it was a good thing for me to start clean and the RIGHT way today.
I've thought about it alot and I am actually going to try and stay on this detox for over 10 days. Possibly 28 days or longer if my body is not telling me otherwise. I am going to document my daily feelings on here so they will vary from day to day I'm sure. I plan on starting my workouts soon too as soon as I am sure I'm not going to have to run to the bathroom.
I read a few journals of people that have done the cleanse and according to them they feel great after day 4. Day 1, 3 and 4 are supposed to be the hardest. I think that I will start my workouts after these days. I'm going to be home most of these days so we'll see how it goes. I can't wait to start and see a transformation in the way I feel and look. I am super excited about starting my healthy eating habits afterward too!
I weighed myself this morning and even though I had an idea of how much I weighed, it was still shocking. I weigh exactly what I thought I did and it's just nuts. I know I needed to see it for myself and this reassured my decision to move forward with this cleanse.
So today is New Year's Eve, I'm off work today and tomorrow and I am just going to enjoy my time with the kids and my husband and ring in the new year with hope and faith that this will be a better year for us. I pray for a wonderful year for you as well. God Bless.
Yep, I am actually taking out the trash..well not literally... I FINALLY settled on a cleanse and I was planning on starting it tomorrow but I don't have the things I need as of yet & I want to be 100000% prepared because I am not giving up half way through because I was missing something. Tomorrow is our Sunday School Christmas party and I was thinking "it's ok I don't have to eat" but I am going to have be practically attached to a toilet for the first 3 days. Let me tell you I CANNOT wait. My body feels absolutely miserable. I feel craptastic and I truly feel that before I can shed some weight I need to get rid of all the toxic stuff in my body. I seriously don't think I've felt as horrible as I do now. I've had migranes for DAYS now, my back is KILLING me and my sleep is absolutely HORRENDOUS. I wake up every hour on the hour. My body is screaming for me to help it and I'm coming to the rescue.
So this cleanse is for 7-10 days depending on if my body is done by the 7th day which I think I will need the full 10 days. The only issue with that is that 10 days from Saturday runs into Christmas and we'll be at my moms. I don't have to necessarily eat but I will be harrased non stop for "not eating" and I can totally hear my mom telling me how it's NOT healthy the cleanse is. I am a bit hesitant on waiting but I feel that this is urgent and I need to handle it ASAP!
More to come....God Bless
I have tons of thoughts in my head and I feel like I have to just type away. I need to do a cleanse! I've been online for hours trying to find one that is safe and suitable. My body is sluggish to the extreme and I NEED a cleanse for sure. There's this couple at my church that sell natural supplements but I always forget to ask how much cause you know with me that's what determines if I can do it or not.
My husband starts work again today PRAISE GOD! and so now he will be bringing in more money & we can actually buy healthy expensive foods again!! That's the first thing that came to my mind when he said "well....I go back to work tomorrow". He works for the carpenter's union so the jobs he works at are random and he never knows what he's going to be doing until he arrives at the jobsite (even though he is a Carpenter). He called me this morning to tell me he's going to be working on this big jobsite on 5 man made lakes where huge homes are built on. They are rebuilding their waterways or something and he gets to work IN THE WATER. He didn't sound excited in the least. He gets to wear the whole wet pants and boots and all that I suppose.
I come into the office to work once a week and I noticed that I can hardly get away from my desk. I feel extremely...how should I say this...timid and shy. But like really badly, almost like....what's that word...reclusive. I see people I know and I turn the other way so I don't have to talk to them. I'm finding that I am doing this at church now. The only reason I am still even talking to people is because I have my RU group of ladies. I am finding though that I am missing A LOT of church to the point where my husband will actually ask me "you going to church today"? which is really weird. I mean I am at church at least twice a week but thoughts of not going cross my mind at LEAST a dozen times. I change my mind about going or not going so many times before I actually step foot in that church building. Coming to work the ONE DAY my boss requires me to be here is now the same! I KNOW it's got to do with my weight and I can't wait to be rid of it. I don't think it's ever affected me this way. I actually feel sorry for myself. Not in a sympathetic sort of way, but sorry it's gotten to affect me this way. I'm not proud of who I have become and I can't wait to be myself again. I don't take pride in how I look and most of the time I am wearing really big clothes. I've NEVER been in a 2X and even though I do fit in a 1X (or XL) I steer away from them because you can see my fat stomach.
It looks like we are still going to my mom's for Christmas and my sister Nancy called me so I can bid on a treadmill for her!! It's local pick up only and she still doesn't really understand Ebay for some reason, so she's asking me to get it for her. Hopefully by the time we get there, she will have it and we can work out while I am there.
I need to stop feeling like there's all this pressure on me. I'm stressing myself out on lots of levels and I don't need to feel this way. This stress that I am creating for myself leads me to eat crap I feel will comfort me. Lauren, the teenager living with us is going to start going to her Dad's every weekend even though her Dad doesn't know that yet. He has cancer but looks to be feeling much better. He doesn't want her back, point blank but having her in my house is affecting my stress levels. She doesn't appreciate a lot of the things we are doing for her so I think she needs a bit of a reality check. Everything is harder with her there and once she does transition to being at home full time, it will be MUCH easier to do the things we need to do to lead a healthier lifestyle.
Hope you have a great day & God Bless!
Somethings happening....I'm beginning to actually feel like I WANT to loose weight. Like....I'm getting butterflies in my stomach about actually doing it. I'm envisioning myself being in my smaller clothes and THAT my friend is GREAT news for me. For some reason the past months..I've sort of wanted to loose weight but that "want" was not really 100% there. For me, it's GOT to be there. I just caught up on some blogs and other ladies are kicking butt! I am so happy for them and the excitement in their blogs is coming on and basically feeding the fuel to my fire.
My little sister is going to turn 30 this year, she's one of those gals that's overweight but still looks good. Like her legs don't rub together and stomach doesn't look all crazy over her pants...ya know, mushroom top. She's been really overweight before but she manages to keep herself in check now. Anyway, I called her and told her that we should get our butt in gear for her 30th b-day in April. We can so totally loose major poundage by then. That's over 5 month's away. So...I am going to do this and I am going to encourage her. I want to loose at least 15 pounds by X-mas. I'm going to do a cleanse this week (I totally need it). I have major toxins in my body that I totally need to shed. I was so sick this past weekend and I think that this unhealthy way of eating is totally contributing to it. So I have to look into doing a cleanse and go from there. I'm supposed to see my sister at Christmas again and I want to motivate her by her seeing me loose the weight. My sister is SOOOO pretty and she would look even more beautiful thinner and most importanly HEALTHIER! Plus I want her to have more confidence and maybe she can meet herself a nice young man with that newfound confidence.
So here's to shedding the pounds with God walking by our side. Amen.
Read below, it's from Greg Laurie...really great Devotion...
His Ultimate Purpose
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
— Romans 8:28
We must remember that God never tests us without a purpose or a reason. You might wonder, Why does God allow His children to go through these trials? The answer is God's ultimate purpose is that we might be conformed into the image of Jesus Christ.
There are many times in our lives when we will go through trials, and things will work out really well. That's when we love to quote Romans 8:28: "All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Many things that make no sense at the time will work out in the end.
A classic example of this is Joseph. Talk about things really going wrong! Joseph went out to visit his brothers on an errand for his father and the next thing he knew, he was sold as a slave. But with God's providence, he was elevated to a position of great authority. He was able to help his brothers and his father and do much good.
Another reason God allows trials is so we will become strong spiritually. James 1:2–3 says, "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." Different translations say that testing produces "heroic endurance" or "fortitude." James meant that trials will toughen us up and give us staying power. God wants iron to enter our souls.
Temptation can be endured and overcome. Remember that God's ultimate purpose in allowing trials in our lives is so that we might be conformed into the image of Jesus Christ.
I am such a procrastinator. I am gearing up to get myself back on track. I am dreading it in a way but looking forward to it mostly. My whole family has gotten off track and none of us are feeling very good. I have to really turn to God is help with dealing with dissapointments such as this. I ask myself "How can we be doing so good, then just fall off the wagon and not hop back on". I used to hop on really quick but I also have to remember that it was just me hoping on that wagon and not my entire family. I was supposed to encourage them and I didn't. BUT you live and learn and it's not too late! I keep thinking it's getting too late for me but it's so totally not!
So I am making menu's today and tomorrow, grocery lists and I actually don't have to get rid of too many things in my cupboards that don't belong there. A few things but mostly I have to BUY BUY BUY. Anyhoo, I am praying for strength please pray for me if you pray. God Bless.
I'm heading out the door in like 2 minutes but wanted to post this because it's OH SO TRUE...from Greg Laurie.
The Quest
Hell and Destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.
— Proverbs 27:20
I read about a convention where Star Trek memorabilia was auctioned off, including a half-filled glass of water that had been sipped by a cast member who had a virus. The item sold for $40. The person who bought it immediately drank it, because he or she wanted to get the same virus the cast member from Star Trek had.
"Bizarre" is one word that comes to mind after a story like that one. But is it really any more bizarre when you start thinking about the things that supposedly normal people dedicate their entire lives to? They will dedicate their lives to acquiring possessions. They will dedicate their lives to sexual conquest. They will dedicate their lives to getting the finest education the world can offer. But what they will find out eventually is that if in their pursuit of these things, they forget about God, it will result in emptiness.
Take it from the expert, Solomon, who penned the Book of Ecclesiastes. Solomon was the one person who could say, "Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt." He knew about these things firsthand. He went on a quest, deciding he was going to try everything this world had to offer. But he wisely concluded that just as death and destruction are never satisfied, so human desire is never satisfied.
When God created us, He wired us this way. The Bible says that He has placed eternity in our hearts (see Ecclesiastes 3:11), which simply means that in the heart of every man and woman, there is a sense that there is something more out there. It is almost as though we were born with a God-shaped blank inside. And so the search begins.
Wow! It's been a while since I've blogged. This summer has been activity packed and while it's nice, it's tiring and takes a toll on me especially with the kids.
Last Tuesday we drove 5 hours to my parents house. I love going to see me parents but things were just off this time, and Alexis (my oldest) was extremely annoying and I'm still upset with her today about how she pitted me sister and parents against me. Not directly but she did. You see she was their first grandchild and was for many years. My mom babysat her for the first few years of her life and well, I don't think that was the brightest idea in the longrun. They spolied her ROTTEN. It took a lot to get that out of her and to this day she still acts up the same way she did with grandma and grandpa. Anyway, I can type forever about this but I won't. The reason I go out there most of the time is so she can feel loved by her grandparents and my other two kids (which my parents are not too close to because of the distance) can get comfortable with them. They have and Alani asks where "gramps & gramma" are??? Can we go to their house??!
I've been feeling really down this week though. Just the after affects of the trip. I always feel depressed after leaving my family because I feel lonely. Another thing is I don't have one ounce of desire to cook which is NOT good. I need to restock!!! #1 on energy, #2 on healthy foods #3 on confidence.
I just feel like I have TONS of loose ends in my life and I am desperately reaching out to try and tie them all. I really need focus right now. I need to get back to working out and having a healthy mind so I can be a better stewart to God, a better wife and a better mom (oh and better person for those around me). So here's to a "life refresher". Off to drink my morning coffee. God Bless.
I went back and read some of my older posts and I got motivated. I was so determined to get down to 199. I was really really close but what was funny is that in my posts I would write how tired I was and how my weight had started to be really funky. I would creep up in the weight department (about a pound or so) I thought PCOS was catching up to me and I ultimately ended up finding out I was actually pregnant. It's funny to me because I was SOOO clueless even though all the signs were there. Anyway, I'm NOT pregnant this year and don't plan to be so I want to be in that mindset. The lowest I got was 205.3 which is pretty darn good! I can totally do this. I believe God led me to read those posts as well because I felt like I praised him so much more.
I weighed this morning and I am down 1 pound. Sigh. It's going to take me all week to get these extra pounds off. Well you live and learn. I guess it's a good thing that they are not going to be gone just like that. If they were to just melt off in one day I am sure I would be cheating again. So here's to this week!
Like I mentioned earlier, I need to get the passion for cooking again. I bought the Pita bread from Western Bagels (since I am fortunate enough to have one down the street from my job). I ran to Trader Joe's on my lunch break and got some hummus and Flax seed chips and some salami. I didn't notice that the salami had sugar and corn syrup so I won't be able to eat that. I just figured it didn't have it but it does. I was hungry (which is why I also picked up the hummus). I bought the TJ brand hummus, jalapeno and Cilantro and it wasn't bad. I think I ate too much of it. Well, I don't think I did, I did. The container said 7 servings and I think I might of had like 3 servings. EEK...not too too bad in the carb department but still. I need to tighten that appetite.
Welll.I'm boring myself. The good news also is that we did actually go play tennis last night. We had to wait for a court for like 30 minutes. One girl and her dad were training in one of them and he was pushing her hard. I felt bad for her. She looked really unhappy. But maybe that's what she wants in her life and her dad is helping her accomplish it. Maybe not? I guess we won't ever know. They were still there when we left. I have to keep up the workouts so today I will most likely do the same except I'm going alone. I'm going to invite one of the ladies from church. She likes to work out and she'd be the perfect tennis partner. God bless.
I'm trying to get myself in the mood for cooking again cause I am SO unmotivated. I think I need to think of new foods. Maybe bored with current selection?
Do all ya'll know about Hummus? I didn't (I think this is from being mexican and all) I was never exposed to this yummy delish "dip". I love love love Hummus. I was buying it at Costco but the brand that I like, they only carry when they have these pita chips and right now they don't have them. I've seen others but I am skeptical about buying them. The ingredients seem pretty plain so I have decided to make my own! Here is Emeril Lagase's recipe that I am going to try making tonight! I will let you know how it tastes tomorrow...
Chickpea Spread with Sesame Seed Paste: Hummus bi Tahina
2 cups canned chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 lemon, juiced
2 tablespoons tahini paste
1 tablespoon garlic
1/4 cup olive oil, plus more, for drizzling
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 cup kalamata olives, pitted
Fresh pita bread
In a food processor fitted with a metal blade, combine the chickpeas, lemon juice, tahini paste, and garlic. Process until smooth. With the machine running, add 1/4 cup olive oil, a little at a time. Season with salt and pepper.
Spoon the hummus in the center of a large platter. Drizzle the hummus with olive oil. Arrange the black olives and fresh pita bread around the hummus.
Oh man I feel so grosse since coming back from our trip. My stomach is trippen'. My husband feels it too. I could not believe it when he said "I can't wait to get back to our regular eating". We did try to make wise choices most of the time but we had french fries, twice! I love potatos that's the thing I run to when I'm off my healthy eating. But we shared one serving both times so it's not like we went totally buck wild. My body is telling me that I went buck wild though.....
With much deliberation , I weighed and I'm up 3.5 pounds! I almost fell off my scale but I know that it's a lot of bloat because I especially feel it in my ankles. As expected it was hard to get back on target yesterday. I had the dreaded cravings which were not horrible but still. So it was hard coming back to reality but I'm back! I'm at work today and although it's hard getting up so early to make the drive, I think about what a HUGE blessing it is that I only have to do it once a week! When I'm here I seem to do really well too. It keeps me focused for some reason. They have this health thing going on that the company is paying for. All these counselors have come in to "asses" us. All voluntary of couse. They have you do this workout and they even organized a lunch time power walk thing for all the employees. I think it's a great idea. It's WAY too hot over here though.
Today I want to go play tennis or go for a swim. We'll see what time allows us to do. Alright well I better get to work. I'm weighing in everyday this week so I make sure I work off that excess weight and get back to 232! God Bless.
I'm going to Las Vegas did I tell you? Probably not, I don't exactly announce that to everyone because they equate Vegas with sin. Um...actually I do too. Well I'm not going to Vegas to do crazy things and expect that whatever I do in Vegas stays in Vegas. We are going to the Antique Roadshow!
Here's why.
My sister in law bought and sold a house a few years back and in the attic she found paintings. They are dated 1806 or something so we think they are worth some money. She has never had the money to get them appraised and so when I went to the antique roadshow website and it said say that they were only having like 5 or 6 shows in the entire US. I signed up to get tickets to the closest place to us and that happened to be Las Vegas - AKA Sin City. Like 8 or 9 months later I get the tickets in the mail!
I've been fundraising to go on this trip. Selling bunches of stuff on Ebay which I did pretty well on thank the Lord. It takes lots of time to do that and manage shipping etc. I buy stuff at the open air markets for $.50 or a dollar and sell it on Ebay for $10 or more dollars so I make a little profit after what Ebay charges to list, final value fees plus what paypal charges.
Anyway, yep so I'm going out there and I'm just going to go sight seeing. I've been to Vegas only once and I was pregnant with Alani and was totally miserable (morning sickness) I want to go see all the cool buildings after we get out of the roadshow.
The kids are staying with a babysitter and Alexis. I'm not going to pretend like I'm not worried, I am. I love my kiddos and anything can happen, I just have to pray for the Lord's protection over them.
So me and my husband are going to be alone in the car and on the way there. Weird. It worries me actually. I haven't been alone with him for a while and that's not good. There's a bit of a rift between us....it's been getting bigger and bigger. Especially lately. I think he has been very selfish lately and to be honest I have a lot of recentment toward him for that. I try hard to not feel this way because I constantly feel like disrespecting him and I don't like that. I don't like to be disrespected so why should I do it to him? I know I have many faults and I am sure I've acted selfishly everyday without really realizing it. I've seen how a lot of women treat their husbands and the Lord knows I don't want that creeping in to my family. We just need to hash it out privately. We need to talk about what is bothering both of us. We need to get on the same page about dicipline and what we both expect out of each other. So I'm really happy that we will be able to get this out of the way and handled so we can both be happier. The key really is communication. We just haven't been able to do it or taken the time to do this.
Anyhoo, I started working really early today and got lots of things done and it's 5:39am. I'm going to get my coffee and work for a few more hours.
Oh the whole reason I came on here, besides the whole Vegas trip is to update you all on my weight loss. As of this morning I am at 232.6. Not much of a loss this week :-( It's something considering I am still having my monthly. Sorry you were probably eating huh? If you pray, please pray for traveling mercies for us and that my kids stay safe and happy while we are away. God Bless!
This is the verse I am going to keep close to my heart in case I feel like I'm getting in the flesh while on my trip:
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.
I'm obsessed with Yard Sales right now. This weekend I went on a few and I met the weidest lady ever. This lady was having the yard sale and she came off as wealthy (nice house big HUGE rock of a wedding ring). She came up to me when she noticed I was looking through the boys clothing and told me her life story in like 2 minutes (you know the type of lady I'm talking about right? Just really trusting). Anyway, she said she had a friend that was also a flight attendant and that she was married to this ubber rich guy and was looking for someone to give boy clothes to that would appreciate them (me! me! me!) the only thing that I think came out of my mouth was "Oh??" she continued to give me her friends number and I thought "but what if this other woman is not as friendly and chatter-box-y as her"? I haven't called because I can't seem to get myself to call and say something like "Hi I heard you were giving away boy's clothing". Ok so I won't sound that ghetto but ya know....maybe I'll do it maybe I won't. I've always managed to keep my kids clothed on a very strict budget and always used clothing. I just got Gabriel some cute Gap shorts for 50 cents and Alani some super cute Gap kids pink tennis shoes for $1. So we'll see, free clothes sounds tempting. :-)
This weekend we went out for breakfast and I cheated *very little bit* and it was with potatos so it's not super bad but still. I felt SOOOOOO guilty eating them that I couldn't even enjoy them. All of us picked at our plate and we didn't even eat half of the country style sliced potatoes that are oh so good. I'm glad we felt guilty! But I truly believe we worked it off. We walked ALL day at the outdoor markets and even went fishing in the evening and my husband forgot to pack our chairs. My feet were KILLING me on Sunday morning.
Oh Sunday we were both working in nursery at church in the special needs class, and Carlos, he's blind and is learning how to pronounce his words,he kept immitating my husband and cracking up. He's 5 years old and he has a twin that's also blind but way way more mellow. Carlos is a little fireball. So he made me forget about my aching feet but when I got home I was in such a horredous mood. I don't think I have ever been so mean to my family and I am totally ashamed. Last night after church we sat in our living room and did some of our devotions and when we prayed together I asked God to help me with my temper. I lost it because I just felt overwhelmed at home. Our house is small and I had to keep telling everyone to clean up and it was just not good all the way around. I was a total witch and I don't know if it's PMS or what. I've totally repented and asked God for His help because I can't do this on my own. I need to appreciate my family, our health...just all of the blessing in my life! Anyway, I wrote most of the post above yesterday - I sort of spell checked it but not completely so forgive me and all my typos. I hope that today is another wonderful day. God Bless!
One of my favorite verses!
Isaiah 41:13
"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not, I will help thee"
No matter how much water I drink I am always thirsty. Is that like some sort of medical condition? It never goes away. Maybe I'll google it. Also, not that there are any doctors on here reading this, but my lower back is absolutely killing me when I wake up each morning. Sometimes I can't sleep in because it hurts so bad. My second bed is the couch. I go to my couch to continue my sleep-capades.
My alarm was going off for like 15 minutes this morning and I could not get up to turn it off. I was like why the heck is it going off on SATURDAY??!! Then I remembered, my husband wanted to go fishing early in the morning with me. I feel so totally bad. We went to bed too late though so...I dunno. Maybe we'll go tonight. Sergio's sister will HAVE to watch the baby or something. She's like "do me a favor queen" but when it comes to HER actually doing a favor she's busy or she's was "just running out". I mean like I've mentioned on here before, we never ask her for favors and Serg doesn't like to watch the kids but when things get tough and we need to get out of the house kid-less, I'll turn to her and her answer always seem to sound like thw word "N O". I say "sound" because she never comes out and says NO she's just say, well I'm going to go out for dinner but I'll be back at 11pm if you want me to watch them. Um, we have threee kids, 2 of them are small, do you REALLY think I LEAVE my house at 11pm? Naw. Just thinking about that makes me not want to ask. We'll see, I need to spend some solo time with hubby though. He seems kinda lonely, like he needs some TLC. Now everyone say "AWWWW".
Now onto weight. With some hesitation I weighed myself this AM and I am down to..............drumroll please.........................................233.6!!!! All the glory be to God, He's keeping me going! I always run to take credit but it's not me getting the strength. The Lord knows I want to loose weight and He's helping me chig along. I haven't seen that number since Gabriel was like 2 months old. Can you believe I weighed less after I had a baby than I did recently? I'm like the apposite always, I gain weight after the baby is born. Sad but true. I did that with Alexis and Alani too. You would of thought I would of learned. I was eating like there was no tomorrow. You know what it was too? I was drinking A LOT of soda. I was reading Hungry Girl's website and it was talking about opting to go for a Diet coke or something diet when getting a drink at a fast food place because a large soda like that (regular one) is like 400+ calories!!
So yeah 233.6 - man that means that I will be in the 220's in a little while. I just read last week's post and I was 236.8 but after the pizza cheat I went up to 237.6. So from my original loss I went down 3.2 pounds. That's pretty good for 1 week. I hope I don't hit a plateau anytime soon.
Ok I need to get off this computer and go cuddle with my hubby, I'm going to wake him up and he's going to be mad!!
God Bless.
I was just reading my last post and could not help but chuckle. All my posts have such incorrect grammer. I sound like a total mexican hillbilly....LOL it's ok...it sort of describes my state of mind most of the time. My brain is crammed with information that's rushing to come out all at the same time. In the end, I don't write the things that I wanted to write about. It's cool. Maybe someday I will be a sane person. Maybe some day I will get back to reading actual books, not to mention my bible!
Oh man today I felt A W F U L (yes all caps awful) - I think I had food poisoning or SOMETHING cause man I was in the bathroom all day and I was sweating all day (yeah can you just picture me) I was in my PJ's ALL day long. I had a major migraine to top it all off. I was working at home, at my desk, on my laptop and would have to take mini breaks at my laptop by covering my eyes and basically moaned my way through the day. I'm getting my period again too!! I don't know how you guys can cope with getting a stupid period every 28 days! Man it doesn't even give you an entire month to get over having a period. I'm so totally not use to having one so when I started to feel it coming I yelled "NO WAY"!!!!
Then when I got off work I threw myself on my bed and thought "this totally sucks and I can't believe I feel this crappy and now I'm getting my stupid rag again" but then after that I thought about how my body is starting to function normally now and how COOL that is. That tells you how bad sugar and corn syrup and all that added crap they add to food....Is crap is a bad word? I think it is, it sounds kinda bad. Well I'll use it today but no mas (no more). It just sounds icky.
Did I ever mention that I cussed like a sailor, smoked a lot (A LOT) of weed for years and years and I also did a lot of other drugs. I'm glad I am free from that. The only thing I miss is the weed for some reason. It relaxed me and I am a freak now. I get depressed easily on some days. Sometimes I think I need antidepressants but what I actually need is to get off my butt and work out. A good workout always gets me in such a better mood all day long.
Anyway, I don't know why I went off on that tangent. Maybe because it's late and I should really be in bed. Um...I came on her to talk about something legit....oh yeah, I lost weight. I'm now at 235.3 but since I am going to be bloated like a big fat cow for about 7 days I'm not going to torture myself with weighing myself. I need to get over these stupid chocolate cravings I have been having too. It's getting to my nerves. Sugar free choco I don't think will do the trick but I might have to try it. Well that's it. I might come on her tomorrow to rant some more but I'm sorta busy and I need to catch up with other blogs so till later.
Hey if you read my blog, can you leave me a comment? Maybe I will feel a little bit important. Alrighty, God Bless.
On Saturday night I asked one of our family friends to watch my two small kids and for the first time ever my husband said YES! He doesn't like to leave the kids with anyone so they go everywhere we go pretty much. We went fishing off the rocks on the beach and we had a pretty good time. We ate pizza! We figured that after almost a month we were up for a "treat". We were supposed to have a good workout the next day but who are we kidding. We did't get home until like midnight and we had church the next day which is pretty much an all day thing except for a few hours break which we use to unwind from the morning frenzy.
I weighed myself yesterday even though I didn't want to because I knew I would show a gain and didn't want to get discouraged but at the same time I didn't want to *think* that I could sneak in extra carbs. I was up to 237.6 which is almost a pound gain but I know it's all bloat from the pizza because I've felt totally swollen since Sunday. We got off our butts yesterday and went to play tennis. I insisted on going to Wilson high school to play because their courts are better but they were full and we had to wait for a court AND they were not lit courts so once it got a little dark it was hard to see the ball. Overall we had a good workout but Gabriel kept bugging out and I didn't know what he wanted till we got home. Poor kid was totally pooped. Felt bad. Tonight is soul winning so I am going to hopefully run home and go the gym for a workout. I am SO tired today! I didn't get to bed till 10:30 last night and my alarm went off at 3:15 this morning. So I've been dragging ever since. We have Starbucks coffee here at work so I'm about to hit my second cup of coffee now.
I still need a better workout plan...tis working out spontaneously thing is not working well! I need to FEEL like I am burning fat because of a good workout! What I need to do is stick to a plan and quit chickening out. Like today I said I am going to go home, get the kids clothes layed out and ready for church tonight, I have dinner planned, change, run to gym, come back eat dinner and get ready to head out the door to church. Realistic? Maybe not but we'll give it a go. God Bless.
It's Saturday and I'm barely awake.....but here I am. I kept forgetting to weigh myself this week early enough to get an accurate weight on myself. The scale this morning 236.8. I thought to myself "What's up with the .8's"? My start weight was 248.8 then the other day my weight was 238.8...anyway you get my drift...sorry, like I said, I'm still half asleep. I wanted to go do all this stuff today but we have a nursery workers meeting at church that I hope goes fast. We're not going to have lunch there so that's a good thing. No temptation to eat stuff we're not supposed to.
Yesterday I had sort of a weird day. I took my lunch early and went to my appointment to the DMV. I gave Leah, one of the single mom's from church a car. I loved my car. It's a 1996 Grand Am but since we have a mini van and the GMC we didn't really need it and she was taking the bus everywhere. There were a few people at church that needed a car, but the Lord but it on my heart to give it to her. It has a few parts that need replacing and she's working on it so I needed to get moving/driving permit extended. On the way home (she drove) I saw her gas meter and I pumped $10 into her car. I know she doesn't have ANY money right now and we have church activities going on all weekend starting yesterday. I'm broke too but I figured that was something God wanted me to help her with.
Alrighty well I want to run out and have some fun today. Bike riding maybe and just being outdoors enjoying this life on Earth! So have a blessed one...and I'll come on here and talk about some weight loss stuff later. I need to put a menu together for the week since I think I have plenty of food to make them. God bless.
It's been a whole week since I've blogged. I need to start posting my weight loss because writing stuff down in a notebook and keeping it a "secret" is bugging me. I had lunch with Florence yesterday (friend and also co-worker) and I told her what I had gotten up to......I was up to 248.8, yep my bootay was so close to 250...whoa.
I'm now down to 237.8 so I've lost a little over 10 pounds since July 11th. It's officially 3 weeks today. For some reason I thought it had been 5 weeks! LOL. I was starting to think it was taking more time than I thought to loose the bulge but I think that 10+ pounds is pretty darn good! PLUS I'm not going to be loosing so much all the time...need to keep telling myself this! Isn't it crazy what cutting out things with sugar, corn syrup and all these starches will do? I still enjoy lots of yummy foods so I was skeptical...but it's working and the Fam makes their own snacks now which helps me stress a little less. They are learning what to eat and what not to eat. My husband got his lunch and breakfast together today without my help...
Today I am hitting the gym. The thing that sucks is that I am SO totally motivated in the morning but once the afternoon hits my motivation is like non existent so I need to really work on that. I can so totally be loosing more, especially later when I will NEED to work out to loose some weight. I'm still really busy at work so I must go. Till later. God Bless.
So today I wake up and actually feel my bulgin' belly feel a bit smaller and so I decided to jump on the scale. From yesterday I show a 1.6 pound loss. I actually just had to double check that because it was hard to believe. I am so super tired and haven't worked out but today I am going to make a bee-line to the gym and have me a good work out. I totally cleaned house yesterday and my husband did lots of laundry. I have like 3 huge drawer full of just tops and they were an absolute mess so I got those straightened out. Most of those tops I will not get to wear until I hit the 20 pound mark loss so I can't wait. I think I've lost a total of 8 or 9 pounds by now...need to go back and check my actual start weight. Tomorrow is week 3.
I need to wake up Alexis is a few minutes so she can start getting ready to go to the Youth Conference. She needs to pack some snacks for herself. Yesterday she took some but being the generous soul that she is, she shared and apparantly everyone and their mom was starving so everyone took from her low carb stash and left her with little. I would of probably done the same but she needs to eat her snacks on the downlow. Those girls can just walk on up to ANY vending machine and get their fix. There is nothing low carb in those machines for Alexis.
So tonight I have church so I need to make dinner during my lunch break and take 20 minute power walks with Grabriel or Alani during my breaks. So we will see today how it works out.Ok well ta ta, off to make some morning coffee. God Bless.
So from Thursday to Monday I lost another pound which is cool. Even though I should be happy I am always disappointed. I don't know what I expect...I guess I expect to see "165" on the scale but I see "that other weight" which I am too embarrased to post at this time. I promise when I hit the 20 pound loss mark I will reveal the number.
Alexis is continuing to do well. My husband is sneaking in sugars slowly...and I don't want to nag him but he's SO totally and utterly clueless so I kindly reminded him that sugars are a no no, no matter the small amounts he's using. He said he was just waiting for me to say something...I thought "why wait dude"? Apparantly he just can't get used to other sweetening methods. So whatever. He's still loosing though which is a great but if he was to cut out that sugar all together then he'd be in a much better place. Reminding him is as much as I will do. I refuse to nag him because he gets frustrated very easily and he is his mothers son. Their entire family lives on the edge of loosing it. He was the worst, attitude wise, and now he seems to keep his cool much better than they do but he still looses it "quietly" but I can tell he's about to burst with anger sometimes. He checks himself though and many times realizes that it's something that's not really a big deal.
So today I am walking with some co-workers to Costco. I have no lettuce (gasp!) and I also need to hopefully buy some 1/2 and 1/2 if they have it. Oh I need eggs too..we go through eggs like crazy. I need my low carb tortillas too...price to pay when you are mexican is ya need some sort of tortilla in your life....yes it's like no mustard on your corndog, no cheese on your pizza, no ketchup on your fries, ok you get it....wow these are all junkfoods! Cravings anyone?
Ok what else? SO busy at work so I should really go...I'll come back tomorrow and talk about nothingness :-) God Bless.
You know what's SO funny everyone at work is like "Happy Friday! Happy Friday" so I kinda go along with it...but the weekend for me is crazyness! My days return to normal when I return to work on Monday. Yes, I'm the one that says "Happy Monday" and people look at me with darting eyes.
I went to church last night and I loved the message! It talked about how we go to church, we get involved in everything at church but just because we dress right, speak right, etc. doesn't mean we are going in the right direction. It's true! We are so judgemental towards people that "don't dress right" or "speak right" and you know what? They might be closer to God and going in the right direction than someone that's a Sunday school teacher. I haven't read my bible all week. I haven't spent enough dedicated time with the Lord but I am sure one of the ladies in my group in the RU group meeting tonight has. So that message really spoke to me and I realized that I truly do need to get to it. God works out everything for me, He really does.
On to weight stuff...haven't weighed myself but I can still feel like my eating habits are doing it's trick. Alexis's belly is shrinking dramatically and I am curious to see how much weight she's dropped but I'm not going to suggest that she weighs herself cause I don't want her to feel that pressure that sooooo many girls feel. We went grocery shopping last night and my husband commented on how much more stuff we use to get for the same amount of money or less. I said YEP but it's all junk!! I went through the grocery store "specials" in the paper and everything that was on sale were Pop Tarts, Chips, cookies, etc. Nothing healthy.
Ok well I gotta get back to work so I can sign off for the day and start getting ready for Reformers Unanimous tonight. I want to get some type of lesson together for the ladies I counsel in my group. There are some tough ladies in there so I need to be more prepared. Till later, God Bless.
What I mean is I've seen some really great progress in my husband....actually in me too attitude wise. His attitude has improved 100% and I actually think he's enjoying the energy he's been having lately too. This morning I made him some breakfast and I asked him to buy lunch because I was too tired and I had to start working (working from home). He's going to get a protein burger.
Yesterday the bosses at his work brought in tons of donuts and he said he HAD to have a little piece but I think it was more like peer pressure...nobody actually pressured him but he felt oligated to play it off like he eats donuts like the other men...Junk food is a stable food amoungst his peers and you stand out if you don't join in.
I've felt like that at work and I've felt resentful towards people that refused to join in on potlucks because they've been watching what they were eating. But I know that those feelings of resentment where just because I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THEM, eating healthy and passing up the goods.
Last night the hubby and I discussed switching to ONLY organic foods. They are so super expensive though (especially the meat) so we will see how that goes. It's not like I have tons of money to toss around. Maybe now that we are saving money on eating out we can afford better quality food.
Alexis and I went to the gym last night. She went into the pool because she's not allowed in the gym area yet. I walked on the treadmil but was eager to get to the pool. I haven't gone for a swin because I always feel intimidated. Too many people so I don't go swimming. We went late last night so there were hardly any people there. So I think we will be doing that more often.
Well I think that's it. Need to go grocery shopping again and tonight we have church so I will need to handle that today after I get off work. Maybe I will take the kids to the duck pond or somewhere.
Alright till later. God bless.
I really should not be counting....but I am. It's been one week and I am down almost 6 pounds. That weight loss made a little bit of a dent in the weight I need to loose. I need to get all the "extra" fat off of me before I even start seeing any results. Right now I still look fat but I am not as uncomfortable as I was a week ago. Seriously. I was buldging. The Fam feels the same.
I had a talk with hubby and he's being much nicer and complimentary about everything. He realized (by actually paying attention) of all the work that eating right entails. I am getting use to cooking and I had them bookmark recipes from the 15-Minute Low Carb recipe book. Lots of REALLY good recipes and they don't have weird ingredients that require you to look everywhere under the sun to find. I mean low carb foods in general require you to run around like a mad woman to find. Till I find a closer store that is. I live in Southern California and we just want everything handed to us...which is why we're so FAT! Anyway, gas is expensive and time is not something I have to waste. Mom is needed darn it. I read Beck's blog the other day (requires you to have log in and password to read which is why I am not linking her site on this blog entry) but she talked about how feeling needed makes you feel good. I was thiking to myself is this true about me? In a sense it is but then again it's not. I mean I would feel sad if my family did not NEED me at all....but all the NEED I am experiencing at the moment in my household is definitely unwanted. Really.
Ok so anyway, I have lots of work so I need to make this entry brief (again) - so weight loss good so far. I think I need to cut more fat out of our diet though. I have been using margerine and I guess I need to use Butter. So I need to run and get expesive butter cause expensive it is! So the goal for the week is to try to minimize the fat a bit, get some EVOO cause the one I have in my cabinet is too thick. What else? OH work out more! Tonight we are all heading to the gym. Gonna see about playing basketball with the FAM, the gym has basketballs, then I will head up to the treadmill or bike for 40 minutes and they can all go swimming...sounds like a plan. Oh I am totally taking my meds now and I feel so much better. I took my meds before I left work yesterday and I almost fell asleep on the way home (driving...yikes!). God bless.
I have been eating this Flax seed oatmeal-like hot cereal in the morning and man is it good!!! There is a strawberries and cream that I totally need to get. The bad thing is that it's like $6.99 - that's what sucks about eating low carb - everything is flippen expensive. The Falx seed chips are good too but they are almost $4 a bag. Anyway I guess it keeps us from eating too many. I'm the only one that eats the hot cereal..for now anyway. I think as time passes and The fam forgets what real oatmeal tastes like, they will give this flax meal hot cereal a try and will like it. My taste buds are more accepting of "different" foods. 1/2 a cut of this stuff (dry) which makes about 1 cup once you add water and Half & Half is 2 Net carbs. Not so bad huh? I added a 1/2 banana and some Equal and it was bomb.
I don't have to much time to journal today but I did want to come on here and mention that although I may be spending more time buying healthier food (or low carb foods) we have only eaten out ONCE in one whole week and that alone has probably made us break even on the money we WOULD of spent eating out or saved us some money. We had Protein burgers from In-N-Out and they were very good. No fries thank you. Maybe we'll go out to eat to TFI Friday's cause they have low carb friendly foods...Anyway, I have a meeting in like 4 minutes so I gotta go.
Oh I am also not going to log my foods in the calorie counter thing-a-ma-bob cause it does not remove the fiber from the carbs so it makes it look like i have tons of carbs eaten for the day. So I am going to journal my foods manually....
ok till later. God Bless.
Can you believe it?...it actually all began on Tuesday. I had a sit down with "The Fam", when I say The Fam I mean husband & Alexis (Alani and Gabriel are too young to understand so they don't count right now but are being involuntarily included in the talk). ANYWAY, we talked about how we are all fatter than ever and that we needed to do something about it. I heard "well why don't you just do this"? I can't because #1 - I am not the only fat one #2 - I can't sit there and cook 2 different types of foods all the time A) it's not fair to me and B) I can't deal with giving them unhealthy food and then turn around and make something nice and healthy for me.
There are many other reasons...I don't want Alani & Gabrield to struggle with being overweight. Why not take care of it now. Alexis is going to be 11 and man she's been going strong! The first day she was getting to my nerves...talking about "oh we won't be able to eat this and that..bla bla" so I said ENOUGH! She was really good until today, she had a piece of wheat toast with her breakfast but she's young and I read how she's allowed more foods into her diet. It's not going to be an everyday thing or even two servings of bread per day. She is only 11 but weights what a 17 year old weighs. Too much..
Anyway the problem child at the moment is my husband. He's NEVER EVER eaten healthy and he claims to have super bad stomach cramps and pains. I told him I don't know HOW healthy food can have this affect on you and he's like "I dunno". Everyday I bust my butt to make good breakfasts, lunches and dinners and when I ask them "how was it" Alexis always loves it (that girl is hungry all the time and easy to please) him, not so much. I am getting REALLY frustrated with him. I dunno what else to do. Just let him eat what he wants? I think I am at the point where I am ready to do that...It's wearing me down....like the whole dissapointment on his part you know? I have worked SO SO SO SO SO hard on planning this whole thing. Every spare minute that I have I spend researching articles that would be helpful to us, reading up on childhood obesity and looking up recipes for me to make. I cleaned out our cabinets got rid of everything that has corn syrup and sugar in them and yesterday I cleaned out the refrigerator (I lagged on cleaning fridge a bit). There are still some things that I have but they are for Alani that I'm allowing her to have sometimes like strawberry syrup in her milk, ramen noodle soup so she can eat on her picky eating day which she has sometimes..grocery shopping like crazy at like 50 different stores because they all carry one healthy product I am looking for but not another. Madness. Anyway today my mood is weird. I felt discourange and sad a little bit cause of my husband but then again he's not AS BAD as I thought he would be. Not sure what to expect/think/get over. I will have a talk with him today and let him decide. Till later..God bless.
Just know when I avoid posting, I'm still shoving my face with food that I should not be eating. I am so feeling it. More so than the last time I posted. You would of thought that me weighing myself would've left me in utter shock but it didn't. Instead I was like "OH it's not AS BAD as I thought". Such a sicko...ok but now my friends, my stomach is super fat. My fat clothes are getting "filled in". When I sit I have serious back fat. I look so disgusting right now it's not even funny.
The most progress I have made is taking the yellow tail tuna that my husband brought back from his fishing trip out of the freezer. That was yesterday. Instead of baking the tuna though you know what I did? I made these cookies by Paula Deen - Oatmeal coconut chocolate cookies. I brought them to work though so they would eat them. I can't afford to eat many of these. I can't afford to eat anything fattening that's for sure. I think working from home has done this to me. I just snack here and there and it's killing me!
I feel incredibly guilty too for the way I have been feeding the family. I've been baking like a mad woman and feeding them lots of mexican soul food. Yesterday Alexis threw on dress I bought her back in December and it's tight. She didn't think so but I could tell she's gaining weight and it's my fault. :-(
I've been letting Alani snack on junk food too much too. I tried to cut up and apple the other day and give it to her instead of giving her a snack zip lock bag of chips or some other fried something-or-other and she refused the apple!! She LOVES fruit and veggies. So that was like a slap in the face saying "See looks what you are doing"!!! So it is with not so great pleasure that I put together a healthy eating and excercise for the family TODAY! We are going camping from Sunday to Tuesday and I was just thinking well it won't be the healthiest of eating....but WHY NOT!? Why not take fruit and veggies to snack on. Why would I need to take chips and cookies instead? I've brainwashed myself quite a bit and it's very irritating.
Today I start my meds again and my water drinking like crazy to help with my non-stop hunger/cravings. It's B A D right now for me. I know that Sergio can tell too. He knows how disappointed in myself too. He can see I am not happy. I have SO many cute clothes and I can't fit into ANY of them right now.
Ok well no more whining it's seriously time for action. So I will need to put together a menu, snacks included. I was going to say snacks and drinks included but I am going to aim to WATER. I am going to encourage water drinking to all in my family including Alani. I will buy SOME diet drinks though when we have our meals.
Anyhoo, if you got through this rambling post, congrats. God bless!
is just flying by.....Some people worry about making their mark here on earth. Like they want to be remembered by something they did. I don't think I care much about that or do I? So many thing I think about daily. So many people I want to help and I wish I had the money to help so many needy people. So many girls without mothers looking for motherly love and so many boys that need fathers where I wish my husband had the time to be a father to them. Why do I think about this stuff so much? Is this what makes me stress out? Not really sure, wondering where all this is coming from? Me too.
I feel like fed up today. I have been feeling like that lately....fed up about how fat I am. I am just waiting for someone to ask me how many months pregnant I am. I feel THAT fat and I am sure I look that fat.I know that if I was to look at a picture of myself right now I would be like "I had NO idea it was THAT bad"!! But I really do...but then I talk myself into thinking "I'm not that fat"...anyway...enough. And I obvioiusly have had enought. My size 16 clothes? Tight. Very tight. In fact the very few size 18 clothes that I had stuffed in the back of my closet and drawers have suddenly made an appearance and have been getting washed over and over again...I looked at myself in the mirror and just knew I had to get serious. The good thing is this is where I draw the line and I know I won't myself get bigger than an 18. Because I am tall I can play the size 16 off but the 18/20...Not so much. I am heading to costco today at lunch to buy salmon. I am doing the salad/salmon lunch and dinner to clean out my system and LOTS and LOTS of water. I did get some diet cherry 7-up so I eat with my meals though so that will be a treat. I also need to run out and get some protein bars so I don't binge eat...cause I go through some serious withdrawals when I stop the junk eating.
All in all....I am happy about this...happy that I am finally at the point where I am putting a stop to it. The next few days I expect to be a bit depressed as it does happen...but I need to remember that it's temporary. Crazy how food has this affect on people. Scary. Well I will be back this week to chat about other things like The Lord our God, my beautiful kids and husband which I adore. :-) God bless!
I want to work out. I really do. I don't want to keep eating junk. I really don't. I felt like crud most of the time. Did you know that I have even thought that I am depressed and need to get on depression medication. I am so up and down and I don't know why. I don't know why I feel sad when I'm sad and I have read and heard that this is called depression. BUT these past couple of weeks at church, it's so weird, ALL of the preachers have talked about how everyone runs to depression medications when they are feeling down. How we have all of our kids on meds at the first sign of trouble. So I am resisting and I believe that my "down" times are related to me eating junk. I truly do think that foods with all those hormones, sugar and who knows what else can cause instability to ones mind. So I am going to the gym for the very first time in like 2 months tomorrow morning. I am going to clean out my system by doing my protein days and fighting HARD to do Lindora. Once I am on it I talk myself out of WHY I should NOT do it........so I am going to try and pray. A LOT. If you pray, pray for me (yes again).
Work sucks at the moment. Management. I have to get a note from my Dr. in order for them to approve my 3 days working at home. My Dr. read the questions they typed up for him and he said "why are they asking this? It's none of their business". I said I know but I need you to help me with this letter or I will have to continue this commute until I get another job closer to home. Then I find out yesterday that we are moving buildings. They could not renew the lease or something. Very weird...but Ok maybe it will be closer to my house. Doubt it though. Seriously. They have mapped out where everyone lives and will "try" to reduce commute times for everyone. We will know by middle of next month (where we will be moving to) and move by Mid January 2008. Hm...things are interesting and weird around here. Anyway, I have to get to work cause I have been really busy this week. Till later, God Bless.
"to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to keep His commandments, to hold fast to Him, and to serve Him with all of your heart and will all of your soul"
Joshua 22:5
So much happens in my life on a daily basis that it's hard not to feel overwhelmed. I think this is why I get depressed sometimes. I feel like life is just passing me by and I am in a constant state of confusion and desperation. When I asked my bosses to let me work from home I didn't think it would really be THAT much of a big deal. I've done it before with great success so what's the big deal eh? Well it just so happens to be I have 2 new bosses and one of them has tons of employees under her and she really doesn't give a darn how much of a good job I do here or how long I've been here. Anywho...they approved my work from home 3 days a week....for now...basically on a trial basis AND only because I have a medical excuse. My blood pressure is sorta out of control right now (I wonder why) and I need to take more meds. I can't drive too well under the influence of these blood control medications so....there you have it. We'll see how long they'll let me do this for. Once they say "no more" then I will need to look into another job. I can't afford the gas for a 120+ mile commute anymore.
What else? Lots of thinks but I think I will leave it unspoken for now. I just pray that the Lord helps me through these difficult times. Seems like I am always going through difficult times. But they aren't really ya know? Not compared to others that are REALLY going through a tough time. I hate that I can't look at their situations right now and think how blessed I really am. I'm just going to keep looking to the Lord for help in everything.
Isaiah 55:11
So is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it
Long time no post. I will get right to it since I have tons of work.
Ok so I have been anxious about work for a few days. I submitted a proposal for the bosses to work from home and I have not heard back. It's been over a week. I have another job opportunity to work from home 5 days a week but the pay I believe is a bit lower, not so much vacation time & other misc. perks I enjoy here. I need to put the pressure on them to give me a responce as I don't want to loose out on the other job. Pray for me please! I really want to stay working for this company and I HATE change (when it comes to jobs). But yesterday as I felt myself starting to stress about it I asked God to take the burden from my heart and I let it be. Whatever the outcome is I will deal with it accordingly.
Second thing, I just returned from a 3 ladies conference. There were hundreds of ladies there and although I had some good fellowship time with some other ladies I actually went to listen to the advice from the lady speakers. The spritual advice was overwhelming to the point that when I think about it, it makes me want to cry. It touched me THAT much, the messages hit the spot. Just wonderful Godly advice. God is so good to us and I just love Him & praise Him to pieces for that. In a nutshell, I learned to be a better Mom and Wife because of this conference and I know that I have to love the Lord with all my might and He will come through for me. He's promised that to us.
Let's see what else. I have been eating much better. I haven't weighed myself but I am not craving junk as much. I feel like a happier me even though I do have "downtimes" in my attitude, I recognize this and am taking a "time-out" so I don't make brash decisions in my eating and in my attitude towards everyone.
Gosh I just think I have too many things to say and can't get it out without typing a book but I need to work so I will come back here throughout the week and share my life away. God Bless.
I Chronicles 16:34-36
34 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
35 Cry out, “Save us, O God of our salvation!
Gather and rescue us from among the nations,
so we can thank your holy name and rejoice and praise you.”
36 Praise the Lord, the God of Israel,
who lives from everlasting to everlasting!
And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.
Well I am totally lacking motivation but have been trying to come up with a serious plan since yesterday. I am once again reminding myself that I need to stop thinking about loosing weight for vanity reasons but to do it for health reasons! Sometimes I convince myself that I look "alright" fat and that I am ok to stay this way. BUT I fail to remind myself of my high blood pressure due to fatness. I am sure I am borderline diabetic at times because of.......yes you guessed it...my royal fatness. You know I always think that if I get this or that that just THEN will I be "able" to continue with my weight loss. The problem is it never happens. First my thoughts where "WHEN I get on my PCOS meds I will regulate my insulin levels and the weight will start to easily melt off". Although the meds DO help with weight loss, I am not taking them religiously. I often fail to take my blood pressure meds even when I FEEL my blood pressure boiling. Yep, that is VERY bad. And now my new thing is WHEN I get Meridia prescribed to help with the hunger issues I will THEN loose weight. I need to stop depending on stuff to move forward. So I am kicking myself in the rear and making myself take care of myself. Being skinny and cute is just going to have to be considered a perk. You know I am getting older and older and by eating like crap I am setting myself up to be sickly when I am older. I am in a sense beating up my heart, messing with my liver and kidney functions by being so up and down with my weight. I need to stop thinking that I am going to be young forever.
I got my Food Saver a while back (vaccum packs foods to last longer) and so this weekened I AM going to Costco to buy chicken, fish and beef in bulk and making many of meals to stick in the freezer to make it convenient for me to just grab and run.
What else is going on? Besides me being totally tired I am putting together a proposal to ask my bosses to let me work from home. I actually LIKE coming in to work but the gas is getting ridiculous and it's severly dipping into my bills budget. The gas is $3.28 a gallon in Long Beach and it use to cost me $38 to fill up and now I am spending $49.00 to fill up and I need 3 entire fill ups during the week to drive to and from work which = $150 a WEEK which is actually closer to $600! I actually thought it was around $450 but now that this past week gas prices have skyrocketed I am spending WAY too much. Not to mention the wear and tear on my car. So I think I am going to first talk to my immediate boss and try and build a case with her and go from there. I would say wish me luck but there is no such thing as LUCK, so PRAY for me please!!
Jeremiah 29:11-1311 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.
Yeah what is up with the weight loss? My husband took me out on a date last night and was like "what's up with you working out and eating better"? He didn't ask that because he wants me to get skinny, he asked me that because he can tell that something is up with me. I am so much happier when I feel good about myself and right now I don't so am not planning my meals and I am not working out. It's got a little bit to do with me being fed up with having to squeeze EVERYTHING in. Everytime I do that something suffers at the expense of whatever I squeezed in. I guess I can say I got sick and tired of doing that. That and also being exausted. I told him that I am building myself up with the Lord's help and I am feeling much better. I just need to realize that life is not easy and throwing a "tantrum" is only going to make things worse. So this week.....I am building. Reading my bible and studying.
This paycheck should be nice with my raise in it and I worked a few hours of overtime so I am going to splurge on lots of yummy foods for myself (healthy of course). Saturday I plan on cooking my buttocks off so my first week of being back at the gym is not so stressfull. I also have to go to the chiropracter twice a week so on those days I will not be going to the gym. I rather not go then stress myself out and stop working out all together.
Alexis is sick - has a fever and all. I got up at midnight and did not see her in bed so I went to the living room and there she was. Groaning in her sleep....like a "I don't feel so good". I touched her forehead and cheeks and she was burning up. I am sure she will be staying home from school today and I am sure that tonight I will be staying home from church so the kiddos can get better. No sense in dragging them out of the house. I want Sergio to shave Gabriel's hair tonight. I will take a pic and post it tomorrow. Alright well I am guessing that is it for now. God Bless.
Psalm 6:1-4
1 O Lord, do not speak sharp words to me in Your anger, or punish me when You are angry.
2 Be kind to me, O Lord, for I am weak. O Lord, heal me for my bones are shaken.
3 My soul is in great suffering. But You, O Lord, how long?
4 Return, O Lord. Set my soul free. Save me because of Your loving-kindness.
I am back to being really up and down with my moods. Total mood swings and I HATE it. I feel like such a downer which makes me not want to come on here and talk about it. But then I convince myself to TALK.....Talk to myself at least. Get my feelings out in writting. I am thinking I am like this because of stress. There has been SO many changes in the past 2 weeks! I hate change....good change I like, bad change I cringe at. New boss is starting today and let's just say I know her well and I cannot believe for the life of me that they hired her to be a manager. The #1 reason people leave this place is because of bad management. This person KNOWS how to manipulate people in a way that is totally disgusting. I know her pretty well and knowing all this about her gives me the creeps. This job that she got now, let's just say she fought hard for in a really bad way and has lost her closest friends and is not regreting it at all. I am not one of those friends thank goodness! I saw her in action a few years ago and knew that I had to stay away. Other people didn't listen to me and now feel like she stabbed them in the back with an ax several times.
Anyhow, I worked from home on Friday and it was so nice! When my boss said goodbye on Thursday she walked me out, told me not to be afraid to ask management to allow me to work from home because they would approve it. So in about 1 month when my new "boss" get settled in I am going in for the kill. Gas is seriously crazy high and now that my hubby is not working (for several weeks) it's going to start making a dent in my wallet.
Today I have a Dr's appointment at 1:30 which means I have to leave work early. Then I have a massage sceduled for 4pm. I was going to try and make it to the gym but I guess it all depends on how everything goes.
Well I have not weighed myself which is never good. Wondering when I am going to get my act together again and get to it already.
The RU program starts on Friday and I am feeling the pressure. I felt like my helper took over at this Friday's meeting. She's a really good Cristian but she talks A LOT and so I need to have a talk with her about sticking to the schedule and staying in her role as my helper. I think she thinks she is the leader of the group or something and I just kinda feel bad about having to "reprimand" her about it. You see I have a group of ladies in what is called our "2nd talk" where each of them can open up since we are in smaller groups. I start with opening in prayer & move on with checking everyones booklets. I give them points which are for future awards and I challenge them to memorize scripture to help them during the week. Anyway, in 40 minutes I have to do that AND get around to each lady and ask what problems they encountered this past week and encourage them and give them godly advice. One lady is going through a REALLY REALLY hard time and while we have to be compassionate, some people will want to tell you their life story and use up all 40 minutes. I knew we had to move on to the next lady but my helper kept egging this lady on and by this time she had used up most of the time. I should of taken control of my group and in the end, I didn't get to 2 ladies and one of them was crying (I noticed this as we were getting up to join all the other groups again) and I was upset at myself because I went in the with no confidence and was totally unprepared. All my stuff was messy and disorganized and I had hardly studied during the week. This is so not me! So I got myself together on Saturday but I still need to have a serious talk with Jane about her sticking to her duties of a helper and letting me stick to my leader's schedule. I might call her during the week and ask her to go out with me for coffee so we can discuss a plan of attack. She gave me a really nice card telling me how happy she was that we were working together to help those that are lost.
My husband bought me the cutest leather cover bible this weekend with my name engraved in the front of it. I love it!!! Now I can write all over it if I feel like it. He doesn't like to write in bibles (not sure why)....so I already highlighted, underlined and wrote all over mine :-)
Alright well that's all my boring life things. Till later. God bless.
I haven't really felt like typing out the drama's in my life lately. laziness.....or maybe there just has been too muc of it. Not in my family life....like marriage but everywhere else it seems like. Work and accident stuff. Ugh...but it will all work out in the end.
I went to the chiropracter for the first time since my accident and boy did I need it. I didn't realize how tense I was. I slept like a baby last night and didn't want to get up this morning. It was such instant relief and I was in the bestest of moods after I walked out of there. I felt like I was floating!! Anyway, I have been in a rotten mood lately which is another reason I have not typed out my rants on here. I would of talked about people in a way that I should not be. I kept reminding myself that I was a Christian and I was going to get through my anger issues and I did. I just need to accept some of the things that happen that are out of my control. You know why stress on things that I cannot change. We are human and it happens but sometimes we can make things worse.
My eating habits have sucked of late. Not awful but I have snuck in some junk. I have not been to the gym since my accident either but I am planning on getting back on track on Saturday. I am going to go for a nice workout and for a swim in the heated pool.
I guess that's pretty much it, my boss's last day is today and she is going to work for a new company and working from home. I am thinking about joining her there. I would work from home and get paid more. Hmm...not much to think about heh? Except I am comfortable where I am And just got a raise but I am not sure that the commute is paying off as gas is so expensive right now. We will see what the other job has to offer. Well that's it for now. God bless.
