I'm going to Las Vegas did I tell you? Probably not, I don't exactly announce that to everyone because they equate Vegas with sin. Um...actually I do too. Well I'm not going to Vegas to do crazy things and expect that whatever I do in Vegas stays in Vegas. We are going to the Antique Roadshow!
Here's why.
My sister in law bought and sold a house a few years back and in the attic she found paintings. They are dated 1806 or something so we think they are worth some money. She has never had the money to get them appraised and so when I went to the antique roadshow website and it said say that they were only having like 5 or 6 shows in the entire US. I signed up to get tickets to the closest place to us and that happened to be Las Vegas - AKA Sin City. Like 8 or 9 months later I get the tickets in the mail!
I've been fundraising to go on this trip. Selling bunches of stuff on Ebay which I did pretty well on thank the Lord. It takes lots of time to do that and manage shipping etc. I buy stuff at the open air markets for $.50 or a dollar and sell it on Ebay for $10 or more dollars so I make a little profit after what Ebay charges to list, final value fees plus what paypal charges.
Anyway, yep so I'm going out there and I'm just going to go sight seeing. I've been to Vegas only once and I was pregnant with Alani and was totally miserable (morning sickness) I want to go see all the cool buildings after we get out of the roadshow.
The kids are staying with a babysitter and Alexis. I'm not going to pretend like I'm not worried, I am. I love my kiddos and anything can happen, I just have to pray for the Lord's protection over them.
So me and my husband are going to be alone in the car and on the way there. Weird. It worries me actually. I haven't been alone with him for a while and that's not good. There's a bit of a rift between us....it's been getting bigger and bigger. Especially lately. I think he has been very selfish lately and to be honest I have a lot of recentment toward him for that. I try hard to not feel this way because I constantly feel like disrespecting him and I don't like that. I don't like to be disrespected so why should I do it to him? I know I have many faults and I am sure I've acted selfishly everyday without really realizing it. I've seen how a lot of women treat their husbands and the Lord knows I don't want that creeping in to my family. We just need to hash it out privately. We need to talk about what is bothering both of us. We need to get on the same page about dicipline and what we both expect out of each other. So I'm really happy that we will be able to get this out of the way and handled so we can both be happier. The key really is communication. We just haven't been able to do it or taken the time to do this.
Anyhoo, I started working really early today and got lots of things done and it's 5:39am. I'm going to get my coffee and work for a few more hours.
Oh the whole reason I came on here, besides the whole Vegas trip is to update you all on my weight loss. As of this morning I am at 232.6. Not much of a loss this week :-( It's something considering I am still having my monthly. Sorry you were probably eating huh? If you pray, please pray for traveling mercies for us and that my kids stay safe and happy while we are away. God Bless!
This is the verse I am going to keep close to my heart in case I feel like I'm getting in the flesh while on my trip:
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.
I'm obsessed with Yard Sales right now. This weekend I went on a few and I met the weidest lady ever. This lady was having the yard sale and she came off as wealthy (nice house big HUGE rock of a wedding ring). She came up to me when she noticed I was looking through the boys clothing and told me her life story in like 2 minutes (you know the type of lady I'm talking about right? Just really trusting). Anyway, she said she had a friend that was also a flight attendant and that she was married to this ubber rich guy and was looking for someone to give boy clothes to that would appreciate them (me! me! me!) the only thing that I think came out of my mouth was "Oh??" she continued to give me her friends number and I thought "but what if this other woman is not as friendly and chatter-box-y as her"? I haven't called because I can't seem to get myself to call and say something like "Hi I heard you were giving away boy's clothing". Ok so I won't sound that ghetto but ya know....maybe I'll do it maybe I won't. I've always managed to keep my kids clothed on a very strict budget and always used clothing. I just got Gabriel some cute Gap shorts for 50 cents and Alani some super cute Gap kids pink tennis shoes for $1. So we'll see, free clothes sounds tempting. :-)
This weekend we went out for breakfast and I cheated *very little bit* and it was with potatos so it's not super bad but still. I felt SOOOOOO guilty eating them that I couldn't even enjoy them. All of us picked at our plate and we didn't even eat half of the country style sliced potatoes that are oh so good. I'm glad we felt guilty! But I truly believe we worked it off. We walked ALL day at the outdoor markets and even went fishing in the evening and my husband forgot to pack our chairs. My feet were KILLING me on Sunday morning.
Oh Sunday we were both working in nursery at church in the special needs class, and Carlos, he's blind and is learning how to pronounce his words,he kept immitating my husband and cracking up. He's 5 years old and he has a twin that's also blind but way way more mellow. Carlos is a little fireball. So he made me forget about my aching feet but when I got home I was in such a horredous mood. I don't think I have ever been so mean to my family and I am totally ashamed. Last night after church we sat in our living room and did some of our devotions and when we prayed together I asked God to help me with my temper. I lost it because I just felt overwhelmed at home. Our house is small and I had to keep telling everyone to clean up and it was just not good all the way around. I was a total witch and I don't know if it's PMS or what. I've totally repented and asked God for His help because I can't do this on my own. I need to appreciate my family, our health...just all of the blessing in my life! Anyway, I wrote most of the post above yesterday - I sort of spell checked it but not completely so forgive me and all my typos. I hope that today is another wonderful day. God Bless!
One of my favorite verses!
Isaiah 41:13
"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not, I will help thee"
No matter how much water I drink I am always thirsty. Is that like some sort of medical condition? It never goes away. Maybe I'll google it. Also, not that there are any doctors on here reading this, but my lower back is absolutely killing me when I wake up each morning. Sometimes I can't sleep in because it hurts so bad. My second bed is the couch. I go to my couch to continue my sleep-capades.
My alarm was going off for like 15 minutes this morning and I could not get up to turn it off. I was like why the heck is it going off on SATURDAY??!! Then I remembered, my husband wanted to go fishing early in the morning with me. I feel so totally bad. We went to bed too late though so...I dunno. Maybe we'll go tonight. Sergio's sister will HAVE to watch the baby or something. She's like "do me a favor queen" but when it comes to HER actually doing a favor she's busy or she's was "just running out". I mean like I've mentioned on here before, we never ask her for favors and Serg doesn't like to watch the kids but when things get tough and we need to get out of the house kid-less, I'll turn to her and her answer always seem to sound like thw word "N O". I say "sound" because she never comes out and says NO she's just say, well I'm going to go out for dinner but I'll be back at 11pm if you want me to watch them. Um, we have threee kids, 2 of them are small, do you REALLY think I LEAVE my house at 11pm? Naw. Just thinking about that makes me not want to ask. We'll see, I need to spend some solo time with hubby though. He seems kinda lonely, like he needs some TLC. Now everyone say "AWWWW".
Now onto weight. With some hesitation I weighed myself this AM and I am down to..............drumroll please.........................................233.6!!!! All the glory be to God, He's keeping me going! I always run to take credit but it's not me getting the strength. The Lord knows I want to loose weight and He's helping me chig along. I haven't seen that number since Gabriel was like 2 months old. Can you believe I weighed less after I had a baby than I did recently? I'm like the apposite always, I gain weight after the baby is born. Sad but true. I did that with Alexis and Alani too. You would of thought I would of learned. I was eating like there was no tomorrow. You know what it was too? I was drinking A LOT of soda. I was reading Hungry Girl's website and it was talking about opting to go for a Diet coke or something diet when getting a drink at a fast food place because a large soda like that (regular one) is like 400+ calories!!
So yeah 233.6 - man that means that I will be in the 220's in a little while. I just read last week's post and I was 236.8 but after the pizza cheat I went up to 237.6. So from my original loss I went down 3.2 pounds. That's pretty good for 1 week. I hope I don't hit a plateau anytime soon.
Ok I need to get off this computer and go cuddle with my hubby, I'm going to wake him up and he's going to be mad!!
God Bless.
I was just reading my last post and could not help but chuckle. All my posts have such incorrect grammer. I sound like a total mexican hillbilly....LOL it's ok...it sort of describes my state of mind most of the time. My brain is crammed with information that's rushing to come out all at the same time. In the end, I don't write the things that I wanted to write about. It's cool. Maybe someday I will be a sane person. Maybe some day I will get back to reading actual books, not to mention my bible!
Oh man today I felt A W F U L (yes all caps awful) - I think I had food poisoning or SOMETHING cause man I was in the bathroom all day and I was sweating all day (yeah can you just picture me) I was in my PJ's ALL day long. I had a major migraine to top it all off. I was working at home, at my desk, on my laptop and would have to take mini breaks at my laptop by covering my eyes and basically moaned my way through the day. I'm getting my period again too!! I don't know how you guys can cope with getting a stupid period every 28 days! Man it doesn't even give you an entire month to get over having a period. I'm so totally not use to having one so when I started to feel it coming I yelled "NO WAY"!!!!
Then when I got off work I threw myself on my bed and thought "this totally sucks and I can't believe I feel this crappy and now I'm getting my stupid rag again" but then after that I thought about how my body is starting to function normally now and how COOL that is. That tells you how bad sugar and corn syrup and all that added crap they add to food....Is crap is a bad word? I think it is, it sounds kinda bad. Well I'll use it today but no mas (no more). It just sounds icky.
Did I ever mention that I cussed like a sailor, smoked a lot (A LOT) of weed for years and years and I also did a lot of other drugs. I'm glad I am free from that. The only thing I miss is the weed for some reason. It relaxed me and I am a freak now. I get depressed easily on some days. Sometimes I think I need antidepressants but what I actually need is to get off my butt and work out. A good workout always gets me in such a better mood all day long.
Anyway, I don't know why I went off on that tangent. Maybe because it's late and I should really be in bed. Um...I came on her to talk about something legit....oh yeah, I lost weight. I'm now at 235.3 but since I am going to be bloated like a big fat cow for about 7 days I'm not going to torture myself with weighing myself. I need to get over these stupid chocolate cravings I have been having too. It's getting to my nerves. Sugar free choco I don't think will do the trick but I might have to try it. Well that's it. I might come on her tomorrow to rant some more but I'm sorta busy and I need to catch up with other blogs so till later.
Hey if you read my blog, can you leave me a comment? Maybe I will feel a little bit important. Alrighty, God Bless.
On Saturday night I asked one of our family friends to watch my two small kids and for the first time ever my husband said YES! He doesn't like to leave the kids with anyone so they go everywhere we go pretty much. We went fishing off the rocks on the beach and we had a pretty good time. We ate pizza! We figured that after almost a month we were up for a "treat". We were supposed to have a good workout the next day but who are we kidding. We did't get home until like midnight and we had church the next day which is pretty much an all day thing except for a few hours break which we use to unwind from the morning frenzy.
I weighed myself yesterday even though I didn't want to because I knew I would show a gain and didn't want to get discouraged but at the same time I didn't want to *think* that I could sneak in extra carbs. I was up to 237.6 which is almost a pound gain but I know it's all bloat from the pizza because I've felt totally swollen since Sunday. We got off our butts yesterday and went to play tennis. I insisted on going to Wilson high school to play because their courts are better but they were full and we had to wait for a court AND they were not lit courts so once it got a little dark it was hard to see the ball. Overall we had a good workout but Gabriel kept bugging out and I didn't know what he wanted till we got home. Poor kid was totally pooped. Felt bad. Tonight is soul winning so I am going to hopefully run home and go the gym for a workout. I am SO tired today! I didn't get to bed till 10:30 last night and my alarm went off at 3:15 this morning. So I've been dragging ever since. We have Starbucks coffee here at work so I'm about to hit my second cup of coffee now.
I still need a better workout plan...tis working out spontaneously thing is not working well! I need to FEEL like I am burning fat because of a good workout! What I need to do is stick to a plan and quit chickening out. Like today I said I am going to go home, get the kids clothes layed out and ready for church tonight, I have dinner planned, change, run to gym, come back eat dinner and get ready to head out the door to church. Realistic? Maybe not but we'll give it a go. God Bless.
It's Saturday and I'm barely awake.....but here I am. I kept forgetting to weigh myself this week early enough to get an accurate weight on myself. The scale this morning 236.8. I thought to myself "What's up with the .8's"? My start weight was 248.8 then the other day my weight was 238.8...anyway you get my drift...sorry, like I said, I'm still half asleep. I wanted to go do all this stuff today but we have a nursery workers meeting at church that I hope goes fast. We're not going to have lunch there so that's a good thing. No temptation to eat stuff we're not supposed to.
Yesterday I had sort of a weird day. I took my lunch early and went to my appointment to the DMV. I gave Leah, one of the single mom's from church a car. I loved my car. It's a 1996 Grand Am but since we have a mini van and the GMC we didn't really need it and she was taking the bus everywhere. There were a few people at church that needed a car, but the Lord but it on my heart to give it to her. It has a few parts that need replacing and she's working on it so I needed to get moving/driving permit extended. On the way home (she drove) I saw her gas meter and I pumped $10 into her car. I know she doesn't have ANY money right now and we have church activities going on all weekend starting yesterday. I'm broke too but I figured that was something God wanted me to help her with.
Alrighty well I want to run out and have some fun today. Bike riding maybe and just being outdoors enjoying this life on Earth! So have a blessed one...and I'll come on here and talk about some weight loss stuff later. I need to put a menu together for the week since I think I have plenty of food to make them. God bless.
It's been a whole week since I've blogged. I need to start posting my weight loss because writing stuff down in a notebook and keeping it a "secret" is bugging me. I had lunch with Florence yesterday (friend and also co-worker) and I told her what I had gotten up to......I was up to 248.8, yep my bootay was so close to 250...whoa.
I'm now down to 237.8 so I've lost a little over 10 pounds since July 11th. It's officially 3 weeks today. For some reason I thought it had been 5 weeks! LOL. I was starting to think it was taking more time than I thought to loose the bulge but I think that 10+ pounds is pretty darn good! PLUS I'm not going to be loosing so much all the time...need to keep telling myself this! Isn't it crazy what cutting out things with sugar, corn syrup and all these starches will do? I still enjoy lots of yummy foods so I was skeptical...but it's working and the Fam makes their own snacks now which helps me stress a little less. They are learning what to eat and what not to eat. My husband got his lunch and breakfast together today without my help...
Today I am hitting the gym. The thing that sucks is that I am SO totally motivated in the morning but once the afternoon hits my motivation is like non existent so I need to really work on that. I can so totally be loosing more, especially later when I will NEED to work out to loose some weight. I'm still really busy at work so I must go. Till later. God Bless.
So today I wake up and actually feel my bulgin' belly feel a bit smaller and so I decided to jump on the scale. From yesterday I show a 1.6 pound loss. I actually just had to double check that because it was hard to believe. I am so super tired and haven't worked out but today I am going to make a bee-line to the gym and have me a good work out. I totally cleaned house yesterday and my husband did lots of laundry. I have like 3 huge drawer full of just tops and they were an absolute mess so I got those straightened out. Most of those tops I will not get to wear until I hit the 20 pound mark loss so I can't wait. I think I've lost a total of 8 or 9 pounds by now...need to go back and check my actual start weight. Tomorrow is week 3.
I need to wake up Alexis is a few minutes so she can start getting ready to go to the Youth Conference. She needs to pack some snacks for herself. Yesterday she took some but being the generous soul that she is, she shared and apparantly everyone and their mom was starving so everyone took from her low carb stash and left her with little. I would of probably done the same but she needs to eat her snacks on the downlow. Those girls can just walk on up to ANY vending machine and get their fix. There is nothing low carb in those machines for Alexis.
So tonight I have church so I need to make dinner during my lunch break and take 20 minute power walks with Grabriel or Alani during my breaks. So we will see today how it works out.Ok well ta ta, off to make some morning coffee. God Bless.
So from Thursday to Monday I lost another pound which is cool. Even though I should be happy I am always disappointed. I don't know what I expect...I guess I expect to see "165" on the scale but I see "that other weight" which I am too embarrased to post at this time. I promise when I hit the 20 pound loss mark I will reveal the number.
Alexis is continuing to do well. My husband is sneaking in sugars slowly...and I don't want to nag him but he's SO totally and utterly clueless so I kindly reminded him that sugars are a no no, no matter the small amounts he's using. He said he was just waiting for me to say something...I thought "why wait dude"? Apparantly he just can't get used to other sweetening methods. So whatever. He's still loosing though which is a great but if he was to cut out that sugar all together then he'd be in a much better place. Reminding him is as much as I will do. I refuse to nag him because he gets frustrated very easily and he is his mothers son. Their entire family lives on the edge of loosing it. He was the worst, attitude wise, and now he seems to keep his cool much better than they do but he still looses it "quietly" but I can tell he's about to burst with anger sometimes. He checks himself though and many times realizes that it's something that's not really a big deal.
So today I am walking with some co-workers to Costco. I have no lettuce (gasp!) and I also need to hopefully buy some 1/2 and 1/2 if they have it. Oh I need eggs too..we go through eggs like crazy. I need my low carb tortillas too...price to pay when you are mexican is ya need some sort of tortilla in your life....yes it's like no mustard on your corndog, no cheese on your pizza, no ketchup on your fries, ok you get it....wow these are all junkfoods! Cravings anyone?
Ok what else? SO busy at work so I should really go...I'll come back tomorrow and talk about nothingness :-) God Bless.
You know what's SO funny everyone at work is like "Happy Friday! Happy Friday" so I kinda go along with it...but the weekend for me is crazyness! My days return to normal when I return to work on Monday. Yes, I'm the one that says "Happy Monday" and people look at me with darting eyes.
I went to church last night and I loved the message! It talked about how we go to church, we get involved in everything at church but just because we dress right, speak right, etc. doesn't mean we are going in the right direction. It's true! We are so judgemental towards people that "don't dress right" or "speak right" and you know what? They might be closer to God and going in the right direction than someone that's a Sunday school teacher. I haven't read my bible all week. I haven't spent enough dedicated time with the Lord but I am sure one of the ladies in my group in the RU group meeting tonight has. So that message really spoke to me and I realized that I truly do need to get to it. God works out everything for me, He really does.
On to weight stuff...haven't weighed myself but I can still feel like my eating habits are doing it's trick. Alexis's belly is shrinking dramatically and I am curious to see how much weight she's dropped but I'm not going to suggest that she weighs herself cause I don't want her to feel that pressure that sooooo many girls feel. We went grocery shopping last night and my husband commented on how much more stuff we use to get for the same amount of money or less. I said YEP but it's all junk!! I went through the grocery store "specials" in the paper and everything that was on sale were Pop Tarts, Chips, cookies, etc. Nothing healthy.
Ok well I gotta get back to work so I can sign off for the day and start getting ready for Reformers Unanimous tonight. I want to get some type of lesson together for the ladies I counsel in my group. There are some tough ladies in there so I need to be more prepared. Till later, God Bless.
What I mean is I've seen some really great progress in my husband....actually in me too attitude wise. His attitude has improved 100% and I actually think he's enjoying the energy he's been having lately too. This morning I made him some breakfast and I asked him to buy lunch because I was too tired and I had to start working (working from home). He's going to get a protein burger.
Yesterday the bosses at his work brought in tons of donuts and he said he HAD to have a little piece but I think it was more like peer pressure...nobody actually pressured him but he felt oligated to play it off like he eats donuts like the other men...Junk food is a stable food amoungst his peers and you stand out if you don't join in.
I've felt like that at work and I've felt resentful towards people that refused to join in on potlucks because they've been watching what they were eating. But I know that those feelings of resentment where just because I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THEM, eating healthy and passing up the goods.
Last night the hubby and I discussed switching to ONLY organic foods. They are so super expensive though (especially the meat) so we will see how that goes. It's not like I have tons of money to toss around. Maybe now that we are saving money on eating out we can afford better quality food.
Alexis and I went to the gym last night. She went into the pool because she's not allowed in the gym area yet. I walked on the treadmil but was eager to get to the pool. I haven't gone for a swin because I always feel intimidated. Too many people so I don't go swimming. We went late last night so there were hardly any people there. So I think we will be doing that more often.
Well I think that's it. Need to go grocery shopping again and tonight we have church so I will need to handle that today after I get off work. Maybe I will take the kids to the duck pond or somewhere.
Alright till later. God bless.
I really should not be counting....but I am. It's been one week and I am down almost 6 pounds. That weight loss made a little bit of a dent in the weight I need to loose. I need to get all the "extra" fat off of me before I even start seeing any results. Right now I still look fat but I am not as uncomfortable as I was a week ago. Seriously. I was buldging. The Fam feels the same.
I had a talk with hubby and he's being much nicer and complimentary about everything. He realized (by actually paying attention) of all the work that eating right entails. I am getting use to cooking and I had them bookmark recipes from the 15-Minute Low Carb recipe book. Lots of REALLY good recipes and they don't have weird ingredients that require you to look everywhere under the sun to find. I mean low carb foods in general require you to run around like a mad woman to find. Till I find a closer store that is. I live in Southern California and we just want everything handed to us...which is why we're so FAT! Anyway, gas is expensive and time is not something I have to waste. Mom is needed darn it. I read Beck's blog the other day (requires you to have log in and password to read which is why I am not linking her site on this blog entry) but she talked about how feeling needed makes you feel good. I was thiking to myself is this true about me? In a sense it is but then again it's not. I mean I would feel sad if my family did not NEED me at all....but all the NEED I am experiencing at the moment in my household is definitely unwanted. Really.
Ok so anyway, I have lots of work so I need to make this entry brief (again) - so weight loss good so far. I think I need to cut more fat out of our diet though. I have been using margerine and I guess I need to use Butter. So I need to run and get expesive butter cause expensive it is! So the goal for the week is to try to minimize the fat a bit, get some EVOO cause the one I have in my cabinet is too thick. What else? OH work out more! Tonight we are all heading to the gym. Gonna see about playing basketball with the FAM, the gym has basketballs, then I will head up to the treadmill or bike for 40 minutes and they can all go swimming...sounds like a plan. Oh I am totally taking my meds now and I feel so much better. I took my meds before I left work yesterday and I almost fell asleep on the way home (driving...yikes!). God bless.
I have been eating this Flax seed oatmeal-like hot cereal in the morning and man is it good!!! There is a strawberries and cream that I totally need to get. The bad thing is that it's like $6.99 - that's what sucks about eating low carb - everything is flippen expensive. The Falx seed chips are good too but they are almost $4 a bag. Anyway I guess it keeps us from eating too many. I'm the only one that eats the hot cereal..for now anyway. I think as time passes and The fam forgets what real oatmeal tastes like, they will give this flax meal hot cereal a try and will like it. My taste buds are more accepting of "different" foods. 1/2 a cut of this stuff (dry) which makes about 1 cup once you add water and Half & Half is 2 Net carbs. Not so bad huh? I added a 1/2 banana and some Equal and it was bomb.
I don't have to much time to journal today but I did want to come on here and mention that although I may be spending more time buying healthier food (or low carb foods) we have only eaten out ONCE in one whole week and that alone has probably made us break even on the money we WOULD of spent eating out or saved us some money. We had Protein burgers from In-N-Out and they were very good. No fries thank you. Maybe we'll go out to eat to TFI Friday's cause they have low carb friendly foods...Anyway, I have a meeting in like 4 minutes so I gotta go.
Oh I am also not going to log my foods in the calorie counter thing-a-ma-bob cause it does not remove the fiber from the carbs so it makes it look like i have tons of carbs eaten for the day. So I am going to journal my foods manually....
ok till later. God Bless.
Can you believe it?...it actually all began on Tuesday. I had a sit down with "The Fam", when I say The Fam I mean husband & Alexis (Alani and Gabriel are too young to understand so they don't count right now but are being involuntarily included in the talk). ANYWAY, we talked about how we are all fatter than ever and that we needed to do something about it. I heard "well why don't you just do this"? I can't because #1 - I am not the only fat one #2 - I can't sit there and cook 2 different types of foods all the time A) it's not fair to me and B) I can't deal with giving them unhealthy food and then turn around and make something nice and healthy for me.
There are many other reasons...I don't want Alani & Gabrield to struggle with being overweight. Why not take care of it now. Alexis is going to be 11 and man she's been going strong! The first day she was getting to my nerves...talking about "oh we won't be able to eat this and that..bla bla" so I said ENOUGH! She was really good until today, she had a piece of wheat toast with her breakfast but she's young and I read how she's allowed more foods into her diet. It's not going to be an everyday thing or even two servings of bread per day. She is only 11 but weights what a 17 year old weighs. Too much..
Anyway the problem child at the moment is my husband. He's NEVER EVER eaten healthy and he claims to have super bad stomach cramps and pains. I told him I don't know HOW healthy food can have this affect on you and he's like "I dunno". Everyday I bust my butt to make good breakfasts, lunches and dinners and when I ask them "how was it" Alexis always loves it (that girl is hungry all the time and easy to please) him, not so much. I am getting REALLY frustrated with him. I dunno what else to do. Just let him eat what he wants? I think I am at the point where I am ready to do that...It's wearing me down....like the whole dissapointment on his part you know? I have worked SO SO SO SO SO hard on planning this whole thing. Every spare minute that I have I spend researching articles that would be helpful to us, reading up on childhood obesity and looking up recipes for me to make. I cleaned out our cabinets got rid of everything that has corn syrup and sugar in them and yesterday I cleaned out the refrigerator (I lagged on cleaning fridge a bit). There are still some things that I have but they are for Alani that I'm allowing her to have sometimes like strawberry syrup in her milk, ramen noodle soup so she can eat on her picky eating day which she has sometimes..grocery shopping like crazy at like 50 different stores because they all carry one healthy product I am looking for but not another. Madness. Anyway today my mood is weird. I felt discourange and sad a little bit cause of my husband but then again he's not AS BAD as I thought he would be. Not sure what to expect/think/get over. I will have a talk with him today and let him decide. Till later..God bless.
Just know when I avoid posting, I'm still shoving my face with food that I should not be eating. I am so feeling it. More so than the last time I posted. You would of thought that me weighing myself would've left me in utter shock but it didn't. Instead I was like "OH it's not AS BAD as I thought". Such a sicko...ok but now my friends, my stomach is super fat. My fat clothes are getting "filled in". When I sit I have serious back fat. I look so disgusting right now it's not even funny.
The most progress I have made is taking the yellow tail tuna that my husband brought back from his fishing trip out of the freezer. That was yesterday. Instead of baking the tuna though you know what I did? I made these cookies by Paula Deen - Oatmeal coconut chocolate cookies. I brought them to work though so they would eat them. I can't afford to eat many of these. I can't afford to eat anything fattening that's for sure. I think working from home has done this to me. I just snack here and there and it's killing me!
I feel incredibly guilty too for the way I have been feeding the family. I've been baking like a mad woman and feeding them lots of mexican soul food. Yesterday Alexis threw on dress I bought her back in December and it's tight. She didn't think so but I could tell she's gaining weight and it's my fault. :-(
I've been letting Alani snack on junk food too much too. I tried to cut up and apple the other day and give it to her instead of giving her a snack zip lock bag of chips or some other fried something-or-other and she refused the apple!! She LOVES fruit and veggies. So that was like a slap in the face saying "See looks what you are doing"!!! So it is with not so great pleasure that I put together a healthy eating and excercise for the family TODAY! We are going camping from Sunday to Tuesday and I was just thinking well it won't be the healthiest of eating....but WHY NOT!? Why not take fruit and veggies to snack on. Why would I need to take chips and cookies instead? I've brainwashed myself quite a bit and it's very irritating.
Today I start my meds again and my water drinking like crazy to help with my non-stop hunger/cravings. It's B A D right now for me. I know that Sergio can tell too. He knows how disappointed in myself too. He can see I am not happy. I have SO many cute clothes and I can't fit into ANY of them right now.
Ok well no more whining it's seriously time for action. So I will need to put together a menu, snacks included. I was going to say snacks and drinks included but I am going to aim to WATER. I am going to encourage water drinking to all in my family including Alani. I will buy SOME diet drinks though when we have our meals.
Anyhoo, if you got through this rambling post, congrats. God bless!
is just flying by.....Some people worry about making their mark here on earth. Like they want to be remembered by something they did. I don't think I care much about that or do I? So many thing I think about daily. So many people I want to help and I wish I had the money to help so many needy people. So many girls without mothers looking for motherly love and so many boys that need fathers where I wish my husband had the time to be a father to them. Why do I think about this stuff so much? Is this what makes me stress out? Not really sure, wondering where all this is coming from? Me too.
I feel like fed up today. I have been feeling like that lately....fed up about how fat I am. I am just waiting for someone to ask me how many months pregnant I am. I feel THAT fat and I am sure I look that fat.I know that if I was to look at a picture of myself right now I would be like "I had NO idea it was THAT bad"!! But I really do...but then I talk myself into thinking "I'm not that fat"...anyway...enough. And I obvioiusly have had enought. My size 16 clothes? Tight. Very tight. In fact the very few size 18 clothes that I had stuffed in the back of my closet and drawers have suddenly made an appearance and have been getting washed over and over again...I looked at myself in the mirror and just knew I had to get serious. The good thing is this is where I draw the line and I know I won't myself get bigger than an 18. Because I am tall I can play the size 16 off but the 18/20...Not so much. I am heading to costco today at lunch to buy salmon. I am doing the salad/salmon lunch and dinner to clean out my system and LOTS and LOTS of water. I did get some diet cherry 7-up so I eat with my meals though so that will be a treat. I also need to run out and get some protein bars so I don't binge eat...cause I go through some serious withdrawals when I stop the junk eating.
All in all....I am happy about this...happy that I am finally at the point where I am putting a stop to it. The next few days I expect to be a bit depressed as it does happen...but I need to remember that it's temporary. Crazy how food has this affect on people. Scary. Well I will be back this week to chat about other things like The Lord our God, my beautiful kids and husband which I adore. :-) God bless!
I want to work out. I really do. I don't want to keep eating junk. I really don't. I felt like crud most of the time. Did you know that I have even thought that I am depressed and need to get on depression medication. I am so up and down and I don't know why. I don't know why I feel sad when I'm sad and I have read and heard that this is called depression. BUT these past couple of weeks at church, it's so weird, ALL of the preachers have talked about how everyone runs to depression medications when they are feeling down. How we have all of our kids on meds at the first sign of trouble. So I am resisting and I believe that my "down" times are related to me eating junk. I truly do think that foods with all those hormones, sugar and who knows what else can cause instability to ones mind. So I am going to the gym for the very first time in like 2 months tomorrow morning. I am going to clean out my system by doing my protein days and fighting HARD to do Lindora. Once I am on it I talk myself out of WHY I should NOT do it........so I am going to try and pray. A LOT. If you pray, pray for me (yes again).
Work sucks at the moment. Management. I have to get a note from my Dr. in order for them to approve my 3 days working at home. My Dr. read the questions they typed up for him and he said "why are they asking this? It's none of their business". I said I know but I need you to help me with this letter or I will have to continue this commute until I get another job closer to home. Then I find out yesterday that we are moving buildings. They could not renew the lease or something. Very weird...but Ok maybe it will be closer to my house. Doubt it though. Seriously. They have mapped out where everyone lives and will "try" to reduce commute times for everyone. We will know by middle of next month (where we will be moving to) and move by Mid January 2008. Hm...things are interesting and weird around here. Anyway, I have to get to work cause I have been really busy this week. Till later, God Bless.
"to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to keep His commandments, to hold fast to Him, and to serve Him with all of your heart and will all of your soul"
Joshua 22:5
So much happens in my life on a daily basis that it's hard not to feel overwhelmed. I think this is why I get depressed sometimes. I feel like life is just passing me by and I am in a constant state of confusion and desperation. When I asked my bosses to let me work from home I didn't think it would really be THAT much of a big deal. I've done it before with great success so what's the big deal eh? Well it just so happens to be I have 2 new bosses and one of them has tons of employees under her and she really doesn't give a darn how much of a good job I do here or how long I've been here. Anywho...they approved my work from home 3 days a week....for now...basically on a trial basis AND only because I have a medical excuse. My blood pressure is sorta out of control right now (I wonder why) and I need to take more meds. I can't drive too well under the influence of these blood control medications so....there you have it. We'll see how long they'll let me do this for. Once they say "no more" then I will need to look into another job. I can't afford the gas for a 120+ mile commute anymore.
What else? Lots of thinks but I think I will leave it unspoken for now. I just pray that the Lord helps me through these difficult times. Seems like I am always going through difficult times. But they aren't really ya know? Not compared to others that are REALLY going through a tough time. I hate that I can't look at their situations right now and think how blessed I really am. I'm just going to keep looking to the Lord for help in everything.
Isaiah 55:11
So is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it
Long time no post. I will get right to it since I have tons of work.
Ok so I have been anxious about work for a few days. I submitted a proposal for the bosses to work from home and I have not heard back. It's been over a week. I have another job opportunity to work from home 5 days a week but the pay I believe is a bit lower, not so much vacation time & other misc. perks I enjoy here. I need to put the pressure on them to give me a responce as I don't want to loose out on the other job. Pray for me please! I really want to stay working for this company and I HATE change (when it comes to jobs). But yesterday as I felt myself starting to stress about it I asked God to take the burden from my heart and I let it be. Whatever the outcome is I will deal with it accordingly.
Second thing, I just returned from a 3 ladies conference. There were hundreds of ladies there and although I had some good fellowship time with some other ladies I actually went to listen to the advice from the lady speakers. The spritual advice was overwhelming to the point that when I think about it, it makes me want to cry. It touched me THAT much, the messages hit the spot. Just wonderful Godly advice. God is so good to us and I just love Him & praise Him to pieces for that. In a nutshell, I learned to be a better Mom and Wife because of this conference and I know that I have to love the Lord with all my might and He will come through for me. He's promised that to us.
Let's see what else. I have been eating much better. I haven't weighed myself but I am not craving junk as much. I feel like a happier me even though I do have "downtimes" in my attitude, I recognize this and am taking a "time-out" so I don't make brash decisions in my eating and in my attitude towards everyone.
Gosh I just think I have too many things to say and can't get it out without typing a book but I need to work so I will come back here throughout the week and share my life away. God Bless.
I Chronicles 16:34-36
34 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
35 Cry out, “Save us, O God of our salvation!
Gather and rescue us from among the nations,
so we can thank your holy name and rejoice and praise you.”
36 Praise the Lord, the God of Israel,
who lives from everlasting to everlasting!
And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.
Well I am totally lacking motivation but have been trying to come up with a serious plan since yesterday. I am once again reminding myself that I need to stop thinking about loosing weight for vanity reasons but to do it for health reasons! Sometimes I convince myself that I look "alright" fat and that I am ok to stay this way. BUT I fail to remind myself of my high blood pressure due to fatness. I am sure I am borderline diabetic at times because of.......yes you guessed it...my royal fatness. You know I always think that if I get this or that that just THEN will I be "able" to continue with my weight loss. The problem is it never happens. First my thoughts where "WHEN I get on my PCOS meds I will regulate my insulin levels and the weight will start to easily melt off". Although the meds DO help with weight loss, I am not taking them religiously. I often fail to take my blood pressure meds even when I FEEL my blood pressure boiling. Yep, that is VERY bad. And now my new thing is WHEN I get Meridia prescribed to help with the hunger issues I will THEN loose weight. I need to stop depending on stuff to move forward. So I am kicking myself in the rear and making myself take care of myself. Being skinny and cute is just going to have to be considered a perk. You know I am getting older and older and by eating like crap I am setting myself up to be sickly when I am older. I am in a sense beating up my heart, messing with my liver and kidney functions by being so up and down with my weight. I need to stop thinking that I am going to be young forever.
I got my Food Saver a while back (vaccum packs foods to last longer) and so this weekened I AM going to Costco to buy chicken, fish and beef in bulk and making many of meals to stick in the freezer to make it convenient for me to just grab and run.
What else is going on? Besides me being totally tired I am putting together a proposal to ask my bosses to let me work from home. I actually LIKE coming in to work but the gas is getting ridiculous and it's severly dipping into my bills budget. The gas is $3.28 a gallon in Long Beach and it use to cost me $38 to fill up and now I am spending $49.00 to fill up and I need 3 entire fill ups during the week to drive to and from work which = $150 a WEEK which is actually closer to $600! I actually thought it was around $450 but now that this past week gas prices have skyrocketed I am spending WAY too much. Not to mention the wear and tear on my car. So I think I am going to first talk to my immediate boss and try and build a case with her and go from there. I would say wish me luck but there is no such thing as LUCK, so PRAY for me please!!
Jeremiah 29:11-1311 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.
Yeah what is up with the weight loss? My husband took me out on a date last night and was like "what's up with you working out and eating better"? He didn't ask that because he wants me to get skinny, he asked me that because he can tell that something is up with me. I am so much happier when I feel good about myself and right now I don't so am not planning my meals and I am not working out. It's got a little bit to do with me being fed up with having to squeeze EVERYTHING in. Everytime I do that something suffers at the expense of whatever I squeezed in. I guess I can say I got sick and tired of doing that. That and also being exausted. I told him that I am building myself up with the Lord's help and I am feeling much better. I just need to realize that life is not easy and throwing a "tantrum" is only going to make things worse. So this week.....I am building. Reading my bible and studying.
This paycheck should be nice with my raise in it and I worked a few hours of overtime so I am going to splurge on lots of yummy foods for myself (healthy of course). Saturday I plan on cooking my buttocks off so my first week of being back at the gym is not so stressfull. I also have to go to the chiropracter twice a week so on those days I will not be going to the gym. I rather not go then stress myself out and stop working out all together.
Alexis is sick - has a fever and all. I got up at midnight and did not see her in bed so I went to the living room and there she was. Groaning in her sleep....like a "I don't feel so good". I touched her forehead and cheeks and she was burning up. I am sure she will be staying home from school today and I am sure that tonight I will be staying home from church so the kiddos can get better. No sense in dragging them out of the house. I want Sergio to shave Gabriel's hair tonight. I will take a pic and post it tomorrow. Alright well I am guessing that is it for now. God Bless.
Psalm 6:1-4
1 O Lord, do not speak sharp words to me in Your anger, or punish me when You are angry.
2 Be kind to me, O Lord, for I am weak. O Lord, heal me for my bones are shaken.
3 My soul is in great suffering. But You, O Lord, how long?
4 Return, O Lord. Set my soul free. Save me because of Your loving-kindness.
I am back to being really up and down with my moods. Total mood swings and I HATE it. I feel like such a downer which makes me not want to come on here and talk about it. But then I convince myself to TALK.....Talk to myself at least. Get my feelings out in writting. I am thinking I am like this because of stress. There has been SO many changes in the past 2 weeks! I hate change....good change I like, bad change I cringe at. New boss is starting today and let's just say I know her well and I cannot believe for the life of me that they hired her to be a manager. The #1 reason people leave this place is because of bad management. This person KNOWS how to manipulate people in a way that is totally disgusting. I know her pretty well and knowing all this about her gives me the creeps. This job that she got now, let's just say she fought hard for in a really bad way and has lost her closest friends and is not regreting it at all. I am not one of those friends thank goodness! I saw her in action a few years ago and knew that I had to stay away. Other people didn't listen to me and now feel like she stabbed them in the back with an ax several times.
Anyhow, I worked from home on Friday and it was so nice! When my boss said goodbye on Thursday she walked me out, told me not to be afraid to ask management to allow me to work from home because they would approve it. So in about 1 month when my new "boss" get settled in I am going in for the kill. Gas is seriously crazy high and now that my hubby is not working (for several weeks) it's going to start making a dent in my wallet.
Today I have a Dr's appointment at 1:30 which means I have to leave work early. Then I have a massage sceduled for 4pm. I was going to try and make it to the gym but I guess it all depends on how everything goes.
Well I have not weighed myself which is never good. Wondering when I am going to get my act together again and get to it already.
The RU program starts on Friday and I am feeling the pressure. I felt like my helper took over at this Friday's meeting. She's a really good Cristian but she talks A LOT and so I need to have a talk with her about sticking to the schedule and staying in her role as my helper. I think she thinks she is the leader of the group or something and I just kinda feel bad about having to "reprimand" her about it. You see I have a group of ladies in what is called our "2nd talk" where each of them can open up since we are in smaller groups. I start with opening in prayer & move on with checking everyones booklets. I give them points which are for future awards and I challenge them to memorize scripture to help them during the week. Anyway, in 40 minutes I have to do that AND get around to each lady and ask what problems they encountered this past week and encourage them and give them godly advice. One lady is going through a REALLY REALLY hard time and while we have to be compassionate, some people will want to tell you their life story and use up all 40 minutes. I knew we had to move on to the next lady but my helper kept egging this lady on and by this time she had used up most of the time. I should of taken control of my group and in the end, I didn't get to 2 ladies and one of them was crying (I noticed this as we were getting up to join all the other groups again) and I was upset at myself because I went in the with no confidence and was totally unprepared. All my stuff was messy and disorganized and I had hardly studied during the week. This is so not me! So I got myself together on Saturday but I still need to have a serious talk with Jane about her sticking to her duties of a helper and letting me stick to my leader's schedule. I might call her during the week and ask her to go out with me for coffee so we can discuss a plan of attack. She gave me a really nice card telling me how happy she was that we were working together to help those that are lost.
My husband bought me the cutest leather cover bible this weekend with my name engraved in the front of it. I love it!!! Now I can write all over it if I feel like it. He doesn't like to write in bibles (not sure why)....so I already highlighted, underlined and wrote all over mine :-)
Alright well that's all my boring life things. Till later. God bless.
I haven't really felt like typing out the drama's in my life lately. laziness.....or maybe there just has been too muc of it. Not in my family life....like marriage but everywhere else it seems like. Work and accident stuff. Ugh...but it will all work out in the end.
I went to the chiropracter for the first time since my accident and boy did I need it. I didn't realize how tense I was. I slept like a baby last night and didn't want to get up this morning. It was such instant relief and I was in the bestest of moods after I walked out of there. I felt like I was floating!! Anyway, I have been in a rotten mood lately which is another reason I have not typed out my rants on here. I would of talked about people in a way that I should not be. I kept reminding myself that I was a Christian and I was going to get through my anger issues and I did. I just need to accept some of the things that happen that are out of my control. You know why stress on things that I cannot change. We are human and it happens but sometimes we can make things worse.
My eating habits have sucked of late. Not awful but I have snuck in some junk. I have not been to the gym since my accident either but I am planning on getting back on track on Saturday. I am going to go for a nice workout and for a swim in the heated pool.
I guess that's pretty much it, my boss's last day is today and she is going to work for a new company and working from home. I am thinking about joining her there. I would work from home and get paid more. Hmm...not much to think about heh? Except I am comfortable where I am And just got a raise but I am not sure that the commute is paying off as gas is so expensive right now. We will see what the other job has to offer. Well that's it for now. God bless.
Not the eating but work. First let me start by writing really quick about the accident I got into on Monday. Not my fault (2nd time I got into an accident and it has not been my fault)and it was an off duty cop that hit me. I hate this because even though I was not at fault and I was rear ended pretty hard and we do have some injuries the insurance company started by offering me $150. LOL. WHAT? They so suck. So today at some point I am supposed to send them an e-mail with me request. I want to go to a chiropracter for 3 months and the cost of this PER person is $2200 with some follow up appointment in between. So why did they offer me $150 for treatment for 3 people? Because they take advantage of people. I am not getting a lawyer YET but if they decide they want to mess with me I will. So anyway....the other bad news is my boss is quitting and NOBODY KNOWS so Florence if you read this SHHHHH the person that "leaked" this info is the only one that knows so if it got around she would be fired. Anyway this girl that is the most ANNOYING person EVER that HATES working here and even quit for a week to work somewhere else was given preference to interview for her job and is DEMANDING almost 6 figures for her position. WHAT!? Ok my boss compliments me on a daily basis on the GREAT WONDERFUL FANTASTIC work that I do here and I am not even given an opportunity to interview. I am so "upset". Ok I am being bitter and I am praying about it. I just needed to vent. Supposedly I was being considered for a promotion but I have not heard a peep about this promotion since it was mentioned. I am thinking I am going to have to transfer to another department OR just get a job closer to home.
Another thing I was considering, since my boss is leaving and all, ask her about me working from home. Maybe she will approve it before she leaves and all will be well. But it's more like a "yeah right" but let me give it a shot anyway. I will do this today and see how it goes. Pray for me if there is anyone out there that reads my blog and actually believes that prayer does work. If the favor does not sway my way, then I know it is nto God's will and I will need to accept it and do what I have to do. God bless.
This is a side view of my church. It's going to look much different soon!
Well day 28 of 28 was yesterday and I guess you can say I went out with a bang. I got down to 227.8 but I am sure I gained a bit over the weekend. I had like 3 cookies on Saturday...just because they were there. We were at the RU training and I just felt like being a pig even though I wasn't hungry. So here I am today and my stomach is trippen. Making weird noises it hasn't made in a while. Hopefully I will be able to get it back to normal after my.....I don't want to say it....3 protein days. Ugh. I dred these days but after I am done (as hard as they are) I feel better. I don't feel very hungry during the day, it's the evening that I find difficult.
So it looks like I am going to HAVE to work out less at the gym. I just CANNOT afford the time that I am spending there. I am letting other things go in order to be there 2 hours a day and it's not paying off well. I took Friday off work just to get house things done like grocery shopping, washing my car, paying bills & spend time with Alexis before she went back to school...and more!! So I am going to start doing the Body For Life WORKOUTS, not the diet but the workouts because they are intensive and require about an hour on days where you work out with weights and 20 minutes on Cardio Days. The cardio is super intensive though and I am for sure going to use the stairmaster for this workout. Well I will change it up but that stairmaster kicks my butt. I also want to buy some sort of protein powder drink. I think Costco carries a good one that's only like $15. These will work perfect on my protein days as sometimes I just feel like drinking something and not having to actually eat meat as protein will be nice. So I might run over to Costco on my lunch to get a bag. I need to make sure the nutritional info on the label is....well...nutritious.
RU went well again on Friday night. I heard A LOT of preaching about the importance of Soul Winning. As a leader in the RU ministry, I have to go back to Soul Winning. I know the Lord wants me to and it's not a good example if I don't. I can't use my work as an excuse anymore. The Lord will help me get up and get through my days. I just have to start trusting in Him again when it comes to this. So now it looks like we will be at church Wed as well.
The good thing is our kids have all their friends there. Alexis goes to school there and can't wait to meet up with her friends. She works in the nursery too which is good. Alani is in the nursery and all her little friends are in there too. She knows the routine. She likes to take her own purse which is the funniest thing. I need to take a picture of us leaving for church. I have a beautiful family and I thank God to the fullest. God bless.
I woke up in a VERY bad mood then the mood got worst when I got on the scale. A 1 pound gain. WHAT?!?? Stupid scale. Oh well I just have to keep on moving along. What else can I do. I can't explain the gain so I am not going to worry much about it.
Last night Serg went to the gym with me! His mom was in town and Alexis left with her to visit some relatives. I called the gym and made arrangements for the babysitting dept. to watch Alani and Gabriel but I ended up leaving Alani with my 13 year old neice Angie. So we worked out and it was nice to have him there so he can see what I do when I leave the house. Hard work to loose this weight.
Not much else going on. I think I might take the day off tomorrow. I have so many things to do and I am so tired that I think I might just do that (if my boss is cool with it of course). God bless.
I LOVE this Anna Scholz top....it's only $115 (i said that sarcastically)... ....& what about that red dress....I love it..$149 for ya!
I am not sure what get's me into a funk. Could be my actual mood or just that I am plain tired. It's hard to tell getting up at 3am every morning. I mean I guess for anyone having to get up that early will be moody AND tired right? Well I can never tell what kind of day I am going to have until at least 2-3 hours after I get to work. Sometimes I do just wake up nice and chipper but those days are few and far apart.
Taking Alexis to the gym yesterday kinda sucked because she has to be 13 to be able to use the workout machines. I need to talk to the trainer upstairs to see if they will allow her to workout as she LOOKS like a 13 year old and is very mature for her age. I might need to get a Dr's note that shows it's ok for her to work out. We will see. Anyway she can use the pool everyday if she wants and I talked to the swimming supervisor and he will allow her to wear her culotts which are like shorts but looks like a skirt. I would just let her wear a bathing suit but her school prohibts them from doing that (that AND wearing pants) but some of the ladies from my church take their boys swimming there and they go to her school so that's a total no no. Some people don't understand this whole Baptist thing where the women wear only skirts thing. I mean I don't like it because I love to wear nice jeans but I "get" why it's important. It does have to do with a woman looking modest. I mean especially now, the way jeans are made. A woman likes to show off her curves right? But the thinking here is "show your own husband your curves and not everyone else's husband". It's harder for the men to concentrate on preaching and hearing the Word of God when some girl at church is wearing these tight jeans showing her thong or her butt crack to you. KWIM? So yeah...this topic can be controvercial of course but in my case there is really no room for debate because I LOVE my church, Alexis loves the school and so the skirt wearing continues (seems like I am having my own debate in my head).
I woke up with a nasty headache today. I treated myself to a piece of wheat toast with my fake butter (forgot the name of it). Bread never tasted so good :-) Had my coffee but yet I still feel crappy. I was tempted to go to my car and take a little nap for an hour. I might still do that and when lunch rolls around I will work through my lunch so not to cheat my work. We'll see about that. Too lazy to get up right now....Serg is staying home today because it's raining and he can't work in the rain. I almost stayed home but I need to save my vacation days so here I am.
Alright well....I guess I am going to get back to work. God Bless.
I got into a lazy mode yesterday at work where I just really did not want to be bothered by work. I just wanted to read blogs and be a bad employee. But I did work but was also online and got a few good recipes that I want to try out this week or this weekend if time permits.
Last night I got home got some chicken ready to throw into the oven and ran out the door for a 2 hour gym workout. It was the hardest workout I have had to date. What do I have to show for?..... .6 pound loss. It's something. Never enough for me though. I expect too much as always and my expectations are to loose 3 pounds per workout (not really). After I was done I sat in the Sauna for 10 minutes and did some sit ups and some arm workouts. It was gettin' hot up in there though and being that you're not really supposed to be working out in there, I keep it to a minimum.
I finished stretching and walked out of the gym beet red and sweaty. It felt good. Tonight I have to do laundry FIRST then I can go workout (this is according to my husband). Well he is doing the laundry and I am helping. I am supposed to take Alexis with me today so we will see how she does at the gym for the very first time. I might have to call and make a babysitting appointment for Alani so that my hubby does not get irritated at home with the kids. Gotta keep him happy or he's going to give me a hard time everytime I even discuss working out. Don't get me wrong he wants me to workout, he wants me to feel good about myself but he works really really hard, comes home tired and still helps me around the house. Then I turn around and leave for 2 hours everyday and leave him at home to eat dinner alone with 3 kids (2 of the 3 kids=high maintenance). Alani is 2 and is at the age where she's trying to prove herself and Gabriel is just a baby and wants you to play with him nonstop. I would be mad if I was him. So I am really trying to go to the gym right when I get home and when I get back we can all eat dinner together. So I will just continue to try and get on a schedule where mom is making everyone happy. Sometimes you just have to do that.
I made steak fajitas last night for lunch and they look SOOOO good. I made fresh beans in the crock pot too (when you're mexican you always got to have the beans at home or no dinner is complete). I am not really trying to eat them everyday though cause beans = gas and I don't want to let one loose on anyone at the gym. Yes I really think about these things....LOL...I also have a nice breakfast planned..just my typical breakfast burrito with some fresh salsa.
I guess that's pretty much it. Gotta go fill up my 32 ounce water bottle and down it as I do every morning and throw a little bit of makeup on before everyone starts to come in....well maybe I will skip the makeup..I don't really care what anyone thinks of me 4 out of 5 days. God bless.
I actually feel pretty darn good today despite it being Monday and it being 5:00am and all....Friday went really well (the 2nd reformers unanimous meeting). It is seriously coming to light that God chose me to be a leader in this ministry so I can get closer to Him because I am! I asked him for help in memorizing scripture again as I seemed to be having some trouble and it was really starting to frustrate me. I don't just want to memorize it either I want to be able to USE it when helping someone. It helps when you can back up what you are saying with what God says in the bible. This weekend also brought to light how many people actually do not believe in God. The thing is many DO believe but they are mad at Him for reasons unknown to me. I found that most of the people that have confessed their "hatred" for him are because they blame Him for the bad things that happned in their lives. It's hard not to blame Him for things that you think He has control over. Some people though just don't plain believe in Him and feel they are being manipulated to worship something they just don't see. I am not a brain surgeon but I can tell you with 100% certainty that the Lord is REAL. He's shown Himself to me time and time again (not in a spooky ghost sort of way or anything kooky like that) that no one could ever convince me that He is not real. As baby Christians, He shows us he is real because that's just it, we are BABY Christians and we don't believe unless He proves it to us. Now as a more mature Christian, when I pray for a certain thing and it does not happen, I know that He doesn't want that for my life and if I am going through certain struggles, in many many cases, I grow from the experience and instead of getting mad at Him, I take it as another lesson He wants me to grow from. There is so much more I can write about this but not now. Anyway, not sure where that all came from.
OK SO......eating wise this weekend was good BUT not great. Today I am back to my lowest weight yet which is 228.8 and I could of been lower I think but the pizza I ate Saturday night must of not helped. I didn't pig out I just ate enough to say I had dinner. I love pizza though and I always will. If I am gonna cheat, this is the way I will go. Gee, sounds like I am having a love affair. I refrained from eating a lot of other junk food and when the vote from the family was to go out and eat I voted to go home and cook! What?!! Me? I just kept thinking of all the crappy stuff that s in fast food. They trick you to think that even those evil salads are good for you! They take us for fools I tell ya. Ok I'm being weird. Next subject.
I kinda have AF again though which I am tired of seeing! It's like are you coming or going or what?? It must have something to do with the IUD I got put in in January. Not sure but whatever. This weekened I missed taking my Metformin and I feel kinda off in the insulin level sense. I had gotten into a routine this past week and was starting to feel better too. Like my heart not racing so much and a lot of the feeling of being bloated was going away. I even worked on gradually increasing my Met dosage and prepared myself for the headaches and the runs (sorry I know, TMI). I didn't take my blood pressure meds either. Gosh I sound like I am 60 years old!! Another reason to loose weight is to get off old people medication. Mental note #1000.
My hubby bought me some Ralph Lauren sunglasses this weekend and also let me shop and buy 5 skirts, 4 or 5 tops, black nylons and 2 pair of shoes! Love the guy. I'll take a picture with my glasses later. I am the ultimate collector of designer sunglasses, even though I have not worn them very often lately (could be that winter was just over). I am hopefully getting my next pair, God willing, in a month or so. Maybe some Dolce & Gabbana's or some Christian Dior's (pictured above). Well as some of the Australian bloogers say, I have to go to the 'loo' so I got's to go. God Bless.
This is not me either....I am still fat...
Seriously seriously. I am tired. The baby decided he wanted to cry all night. I didn't go to church last night because I wanted to go to bed early to be refreshed today as we have the RU ministry meetings tonight. Well it didn't happen. I am not feeling it quite yet but I know that later today my tiredness WILL kick in. I MAYBE got 1 full hour of sleep which is NOT GOOD.
I weighed myself, no loss. Sucks. I worked out pretty hard yesterday too, over 2 hours. BUT the good news is I feel so much more toned. I don't feel all fat and nasty. I feel like I am playing tricks on myself though because I have only lost a few pounds and how can I start to feel so much thinner? Am I tricking myself into thinking that I AM thinner? I dunno but working out is making me feel less giggly. I think what is keeping my weight at a standstill is me = eating too much chicken. I think I overdid it for a few days on the protein. I need to go back to eating my chicken breast portions. I have issues with portions. Made mental note.
Let's see....my day is set pretty much today. I need to go to either Costco or Albertson's to buy some snacks and drinks for the kids at church today and I am going to squeeze in my 30 minute walk with Florence. We are so funny, we are trying to do belly slimming workouts while walking and we probably looked silly but it tired me out!! We didn't do all of them and we will probably do less today (and go another route) but incorporating them is good I think.
Well tomorrow I plan on sleeping in a bit, getting up to work out, coming back home to make breakfast and help Serg study for his bible class midterm. We have a few moview to watch, probably take a nap (actually this is going to be a must)....then church pretty much all day Sunday.
Alright well hopefully I will have good news to report on Monday. I may even think about coming on to update over the weekend if I have time. Yeah right who am I kidding? God bless.
Man I wrote a long post and lost it!! I guess it too me long enough to write it. Anyway...I will be brief because I don't feel like typing it all over again.
I am down in body fat but up in weight by almost 1 pound. I know that weight fluctuates so I just need to chill. I am an official member of the Jewish Center Gym! Yeay for me. I love working out there and like I mentioned before it could not be more convenient for me. When I signed up the gentleman said that as part of my membership I had use of the heated pool, spa and Sauna. I screamed in my head "SAUNA"!! I love the Sauna. Could never really explain why I likes it so much till I read THIS and according to the article Sauna enthusiasts laud the health benefits of "sweat baths," attributing them with healing, preventative, and cleansing properties. Basically, what happens to the body during a sauna is quite simple — your metabolism and pulse rates increase, your blood vessels become much more flexible, and your extremities benefit from increased circulation. Many people attest to the healing powers of the sauna concerning mental depression and anxiety. They say that after leaving the sauna, the mind is in a relaxed, lucid state, free of the worries of the everyday world. That's how I feel when I walk outta there. Ok well I just got me breakfast together and I must eat. God Bless.
Florence has agreed to a mini challenge to get us more excited about this weight loss. She's very competitive so I am looking forward to this!!! The looser gets to buy the winner the prize below from Tupperware...
This 1st challenge is for 2 weeks and the goal we must reach is 6 pounds! YEAY! She is doing really well too. She's lost 10 pounds since January so she's good competetion.
This is my hubby....LOVE HIM!
Man my eyes are burning! Since starting my serious workouts I have been waking up feeling SOO tired and beat up. I mean what do I expect? I am on the go all day starting from 3AM! Everyone thinks I am absolutely nuts because they all complain about being "tired" and they don't wake up till 7am which is 4 WHOLE hours more of sleep. Man that sounds like such bliss. But they are stuck at work till at least 5pm whereas I leave at 1:30. Unfortunately the really hard work starts when I walk out the door of my building. Sigh.
Ok enough of that somewhat depressing crud. I am down to 228.8 which means that I am down another 1.4 pounds (almost a pound and a half)!! Wow. The bomb. I am debating whether or not I should do a third protein day. I checked to see if I was in Ketosis and I was +5 and I would love to be +10 but I am not sure. We will see how lunch goes. I am going try and run to Albertson's to buy some La Tortilla Factory tortillas and then to Costco to get a Rotisserie chicken and some salad greens. The rotesserie chicken is for lunch and to take home to make something for dinner. I need to make something quick when I get home for the family (but yummy and healthy) and I am also going to throw in a crockpot of beef stew for tomorrow. We have church tomorrow and if I have to make dinner then my gym workout is out the window and we don't want that.
Well I have lots of things on my mind but nothing I care to type about or that I am sure anyone cares to read so I will sign off for now and leave you with the bible verse below. God Bless.
Proverbs 17:22
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
Gosh lost track of what day this is. Oh well...I was SO tired this morning that when the alarm went off I could not physically scrape my tongue off my pillow to get up....well not literally but it sure felt like it. I am SORE SORE SORE and loving it. So who knew that eating well + working out worked! I am fricken FINALLY down to 230.2!! It only took me...what?....3 months to loose 8 pounds? But now that I am in total focus mode (working out seems to do that to me) I believe you're going to see those pounds coming off alot faster. My big belly is showing significant loss. I should measure my fab bod because Lindora calls for measurements as well so I might get my hubby to help me with that tonight.
Speaking of the evenings...I can't believe how much I have to bend over backwardwards to be able to leave my house to workout! It's unbelieveably difficult and I expressed this to Serg and he apologized for making it harder on me. I cleaned the house, made dinners for two nights, gave the baby AND Alani a bath, got lotioned up and dressed in their comfy home clothes, talked to my sis-in-law while I was doing this about her baby daddy drama, tried to comfort her and be understanding all while thinking in my head "Sheesh girl I got THINGS to do, leave"!!! Is that mean? It is huh? Oh well, I got plenty of things going on in my life and sometimes other peoples problems wear me down. So I got things done, grabbed my towel, water, threw my tennis shoes on and out the door I ran for a one and a half hour workout. I am dedicating 2 hours total per day on cardio (1/2 walk on my lunch hour + 1 hour at gym) then 1/2 hour of weights. I am focusing on my boo-tay cause I want to have a nice rear. I really do. My neighbors, two girls, have that body type where they have NO stomach but are thick girls kinda, KWIM? and their buts are big. Not huge, but the type of butt that looks nice in jeans. My but is not flat but it's just not nice. I am not to check out girls but when a girl has a nice butt it's noticeable.
On a very cool note I got to chat with Beckie and Ashwee....is that cool or what? all the way from Australia. Blogger world is the crazyest thing. Alright well I need to get to work so I can do some bible studying for Friday! Till later, God Bless.
Not being sick is such a good feeling! I have a small cough here and there but nothing major. Just leftover junk from my throat issues these past couple of weeks. I am totally sore though. I spent 2 WHOLE hours at the gym on Saturday. I wish I would of eaten healthy but I was just not prepared. It is hard to do everything. Working out is being forcefuly squeezed in and the expense of other things which I totally do not dig.
I am biting the bullet and writting a schedule for this week including dinners and I am going to have to follow that schedule or things are just not going to get done. I just DO NOT HAVE TIME to make anymore. I mean I don't even have time on the weekends. Every hour is taken, literally. It sorta overwhelms me to even think about it. I forced myself to take a nap on Saturday before I hit the gym and I felt great. On Sunday we came home from church and I cleaned up a bit, ate lunch and made Sergio his lunch for today. Then after I ate I washed some extra dishes and actually laid down to take another nap! I think I took about an hour nap and I didn't even think about going to the gym because there was no time in the day. Then we headed off to church again which we are in the bud kids ministry for 3 more weeks. We have a good group of kids this time.
We had out first RU ministry meeting this Friday and I was soooo tired that I hardly paid attention. I mean I did learn some things but we watched lots of DVD's and I knew we were going to get copies of them anyway so I was kinda there kinda NOT (my head). I am hoping we can go to San Jose this weekend. I have got to figure out HOW we are going to do this with all the commitments we have at church. The only thing we can really afford to do is miss the morning service and even that, we have to get someone to take our place in the Special Needs class. I was thinking we would leave on Friday night after the RU ministry but I have a feeling we will be WAY too tired.
Alright well this week will be interesting for me. I am going for 3 protein days this week. I am going to go to the gym ALL week long as well which I am thoroughly enjoying. I want to break out of 232. I am STILL stuck on that number. I know that working out will help me to loose weight but only if I start to eat better. Otherwise I am just going to maintain and I don't want to maintain - I WANT TO LOOSE. So we will see what these protein days brings me. I think I will be at 228 by the end of the week. Let's just make that a small goal. God Bless.
I finally woke up today feeling better. I don't have that horrible pain in my throat anymore. It's still a little sore but nothing like it has been. I also went to the gym yesterday despite feeling like crud!! I was sitting on the couch with Serg and all of the sudden I realized it was 4pm and we had church and I still had not gone to the gym! I did not make dinner and ended up having a chicken sandwich from Jack in the Box for dinner as I could not fit everything in (like cooking). I only ate the bottom bun (the one with no Mayo) but I also ate two tacos and some fries. There goes my gym workout right? But I also walked with Florence!! I worked out for a totaly of 1 1/2 hours yesterday. Today my "super gut" is mostly gone (except for what seems to be permanently there and won't go away unless I work out 5 hours a day and STOP eating Jack in the Box). I was actually surprised that I even ate Jack in the crack that easily. Sorta scary but also tells me that I let myself get THAT hungry. This weekend I am going to go super grocery shopping and I am planning on making at least 3 crockpot dinners. Low in fat, very flavorful and most importantly ""gym friendly". I just NEED to workout. I can't tell you how great I felt after I left yesterday. I just love that Jewish Center gym!! It's so super convenient and the time working out passes by so fast. I didn't have the guts to weigh myself....and I think I know why I am avoiding the scales. I am afraid of being dissapointed and of giving up so easily. I need to fill my house with healthy foods ASAP. I will get a little sleep in tomorrow, go work out and go to the grocery store. Today during my lunch break, instead of eating at my desk I am going to run to Trader Joes to buy frozen bellpeppers, non fat yogurt, Joe's O's cereal (for my non egg eating days) and some frozen asparagus so I can eat with my baked chicken. I think that's what I am going to make for dinner tonight with some baked potatos.
What else. Chuch was excellent last night. Pastor talked about so many things that made sense. He preached from the boo of Haggai and Ezra. Tonight is the first night of
Day 11 already!! I haven't even weighed myself. I have been so sick for the past two days. I have been working out at the gym though except for yesterday. I was WAY too sick AND not just tired but exausted. My eyes were red all day and eventually got better throughout the day but by the time I got home I was in worst shape. My body was aching, like the flu body aches. I at least got a 1/2 hour walk with Florence during the day. I took a tylenol with codeine as well because my throat was just killing me. I am telling you I have never had such a bad sore throat for this long let alone twice in one winter....and I don't even know if I can really call a Southern California winter....well...a winter!! It's been in the high 70's all week. But I am sure that like tomorrow there will be thunderstorms or something. I think the change in this weather has everyone sick thus making it harder for me to get any better. Anyway I am trudging my butt to the gym today no matter what.
I am so super sore still. My arms are *killing me!! But it's nice to know I got in a good workout. For some weird reason my stomach has been SOOOOOO bloated and I am talking bloated. I have this extra large "tire" on my stomach and it's HUGE. I feel extrememly gassy as well but no gas is coming out KWIM? :-P It's like trapped gas and I have been having to take GasX to help alleviate the gas pain in my upper back. SO super weird. The only thing different in my diet is I have been eating 1/2 a container of non fat yoplait yogurt w/ half a banana and some nuts sprinkled on top for my snack. So I thought I would skip that today and have my usual protein bar. I brought half a can of soup and half a sandwich for lunch. I'm just going to try and keep it plain to see if that will help me.
Well what's new? Besides me and Serg now being leaders of the RU ministry at church. Crazy and scary. I am planning on fasting on Saturday because I seriously need to connect with the Lord and ask him for help on concentrating!! I feel like there is so much bible I need to cram into my head and it's like I feel like I can't learn for some reason. I download Dr. J. Vernon McGee teachings on my computer and printed notes. I am starting with Romans because I need to get Romans down especially for sharing the gospel. I need to refresh my memory on Rom 3:23 when we discuss your realization that everyone is a sinner. Then the penalty of sin...Rom 6:23, Believe Christ died for you Rom 5:8 and then Trust Christ Alone as your Savior which is the 2nd part of Rom 6:23...then prayer to ask Jesus Christ to be your Savior.
I just need to have than down 100% and I believe I do I just need it to come out of me more naturally. When I share the gospel with someone I forget my verses and need to follow the church track. Not sure what's up with that. Alright well I am adding a recipe to my recipe site so I need to sign off. God bless.
That's not me in the pic (just in case you were wondering, I'm still mexican)
I went to the gym last night and man did it feel good!!! I went to pick up my kids and Alma asked me if I cared to join her & Maria at the Jewish Center gym. It's literally walking distance from my house. I've seen it before, I just thought you had to be Jeiwsh to go there but apparantly that's not the case.
Anyway, she called me at 6pm and said that she still had to eat dinner and feed her daughter (she's the same age as Gabriel) and then she would call me on her way out the door. At that point I felt lazy and had those feeling of wanting to cuddle up on the couch and be lazy. But once she called I instantly sprung up, changed into gym clothes & Serg dropped me off as he was going to go to the store. I am so glad I went! We chatted the whole time we were there and it didn't feel like much of a workout at all!! There are so many great things about this place that I am going to try and sell my husband on so he let's me sign US up.
The machines are nice and NEW
No CROWDS!
The people there minded their own business
They have babysitting for $3 per hour for when we ALL want to go together!
It's $77.50 per month for our entire family (which Curves is $40 alone!)
I got a one week free pass so I am going to take advantage of that then try to talk Serg into letting me sign up. Alexis can join with me too because there are tons of kids there, well they have a kids center but she can work out with me. There is also this "Youth Swim Team" she can join for $50 and it's Monday - Thursday from 4 to 5pm. Or she can go swimming while I workout because they have lifeguards there for the kids. I would rather sign her up for the swim team though to keep her motivated. I think this is just what she needs. We just need to be organized at home so we can fit our workouts in to our daily life.
Anyway, I was on the Lindora site today reading success stories and I got even more motivated. I am nice and sore today and I am really going to try and make it to the gym earlier so I can go to bed earlier as well and not be so tired. I have lots of things to do at home today, including folding 2 huge basketfuls of clothes. When I get home today I am going to tackle that while I make some chicken soup for dinner. I don't feel like eating that for dinner but we ARE sick and that's the only food I can really make that will allow me to do other things while it cooks. Well I gues I can bake some chicken as well and finally be able to use some of that seasoning Florence gave me. Serg was supposed to go to school tonight and I was going to run out to the gym after that but I just talked to him and he said he wants to finish doing laundry and getting the house in order. I agreed. I will most likely just walk there, depending on the time and I also want to find out if I can ride my bike there from now on for extra workouts. It would take me 10 - 15 minutes just because I would ride there casually and 15 back so I can add another 30 min to my workout!
Anyway, I have all these projects I am working on at work and I need to get to it! So till later God Bless!
I found that I seriously have to take it day by day. People say that all the time but you think of it more as a cliche type of saying. I have to tell myself "just worry about eating healthy today and we will worry about tomorrow, TOMORROW"!! I of course have to plan my foods but the struggles you go through must be dealt with on a daily basis. I keep asking God to help me and not to give up on me. I don't think He is.
Alexis just called and I hope she's having fun. She said she has a headache and her throat hurts. I dunno but she doesn't sound too good. I have a feeling that when she comes home she will appreciate being home quite a bit. Maybe this is God's way of dealing with her and not such a harsh way but in a way where she will appreciate us as her parents and appreciate her home.
I downloaded some pics from my camera today and sent some to family and friends. I loaded one on here of my three kids. Everytime I see them all in one picture, it hits me. I have THREE kids. Whoa.
Ok well I have healthy eating in mind today. I am going to run to Albertson's later and get some low carb tortillas and make a steak burrito for lunch. I brought the steak from home of course and I have salsa in the fridge. Ok well I need to eat my breakfast so till later.
God Bless.
